SJC2008 Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 (edited) I've never tried to date out of my league. I'd say I'm about a 6 on the scale and I'm starting to think I'm lower. Afterall, it is said that men overestimate their looks?? This theory recently dawned on me since I've come to realize that I have a problem in that I'm drawn to controlling women. So I'm going to lay the groundwork by categorizing relationships first. There are MANY types of relationships but for the most part you can narrow them down to 4 types: 1) Man wears the pants 2) Man wears the pants and is abusive 3) Woman wears the pants (controlling) 4) Woman wears the pants and is abusive (controlling, verbal, etc) Now men with "confidence" will fit into #'s 1 and 2 while passive, "nice guys" will fit into 3 and 4. So if you're a nice guy, a little shy, whatever term you want to use. There are PLENTY of controlling woman out there waiting for you! Now you still have to court them so it's not like there going to smell your passiveness and court you. But my point is if you can't find an R within any of those 4 dynamics listed, you're punching out of your league!!! Agree? Disagree? Debate! Edited January 4, 2013 by SJC2008 spelling
somedude81 Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 Is this thread about looks or the dynamics of relationships?
Pyro Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 Confident men are not abusive. They are afraid. Relationship #5: Men wear the pants for certain aspects of the relationship and women wear the pants for other aspects. Together they make a great team and help each other out. No stupid power games. 4
Author SJC2008 Posted January 4, 2013 Author Posted January 4, 2013 Is this thread about looks or the dynamics of relationships? Looks, read it again you'll understand:)
somedude81 Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 Looks, read it again you'll understand:) It's about looks for the first paragraph. Everything else is about a completely different subject.
Author SJC2008 Posted January 4, 2013 Author Posted January 4, 2013 The entire thread is about looks! Sorry if I overcomplicated it:( I'm using the types of relationships to prove it's about looks in that confident men get get in R's #1 and #2 and passive, nice guys get in R's #3 and #4. So if you're passive like me and can't even get the undesired 3&4 you're punching out of your league.
somedude81 Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 What if I'm good looking and passive? Is she going to be the S or the M?
KungFuJoe Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 If you're wondering who is wearing the pants in your relationship you are doing it wrong. 4
SmileFace Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 Where is the option where he just takes off my pants? I swear the **** people think about...da fuqing cakes 2
clia Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 Why do you make the assumption that nice guys are passive? I know plenty of nice guys who are confident. Ditto for shy guys. 1
JuneJulySeptember Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 The entire thread is about looks! Sorry if I overcomplicated it:( I'm using the types of relationships to prove it's about looks in that confident men get get in R's #1 and #2 and passive, nice guys get in R's #3 and #4. So if you're passive like me and can't even get the undesired 3&4 you're punching out of your league. So. If whichever party is a little bit better looking than the other party forever controls the relationship while the lesser looking party is relegated to being a whipping post? Wow. That sounds even worse than just not being able to attract anybody. I do think a lot of people think that way. But hopefully not everybody, for my sake. I can't see people in their 40s and 50s thinking like that. It'd be silly. Again, hopefully. I'm getting closer to that age anyway.
Author SJC2008 Posted January 4, 2013 Author Posted January 4, 2013 So. If whichever party is a little bit better looking than the other party forever controls the relationship while the lesser looking party is relegated to being a whipping post? Wow. That sounds even worse than just not being able to attract anybody. I do think a lot of people think that way. But hopefully not everybody, for my sake. I can't see people in their 40s and 50s thinking like that. It'd be silly. Again, hopefully. I'm getting closer to that age anyway. No I'm not saying the better looking party has control. What I'm saying is that leagues exist accross the board! Meaning you don't have to be confident to get a GF. Nature balances its self out in that passive men wind up with controlling woman. So if you're passive like me and can't even get a controlling woman than you're punching out of your league. Apparently I did a poor job of explaining the point of the post, sorry for the confusion everyone:(
ThaWholigan Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 I disagree on the grounds that leagues do not exist on a universal paradigm. Only on a subjective level within individuals and groups. 1
Author SJC2008 Posted January 4, 2013 Author Posted January 4, 2013 I disagree on the grounds that leagues do not exist on a universal paradigm. Only on a subjective level within individuals and groups. Leagues do exist, even in unhealthy relationships which is part of the point I was trying to make. It's a sociological fact that leagues exist I've quoted the source before.
SmileFace Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 Leagues do exist, even in unhealthy relationships which is part of the point I was trying to make. It's a sociological fact that leagues exist I've quoted the source before. It is the internet you can quote anything. However over analyzing leagues will get you no where. So what is the point... may I ask? 1
ThaWholigan Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 Well in my reality, they don't. And I'm much happier for it . 1
Author SJC2008 Posted January 4, 2013 Author Posted January 4, 2013 It is the internet you can quote anything. However over analyzing leagues will get you no where. So what is the point... may I ask? The point is that regardless if the dynamic of the relationship (healthy,unhealthy), it's about looks. Confident with confident, abusive with abusee, crack head with crack head. I get zero, zilch, nada. I'm a funny guy, somewhat witty. Good head on my shoulders, good natured. I thought I used a good example (apparently not) that passive/shy men wind up with controlling women.Why can't I find someone? All the liars, cheaters, "normal" people can. People are so weak they'll date when there still hurting over an ex because they can't be alone. Mind you being alone is all I know. I've never strung a woman aling untill something better came along, mabye that's my problem??
KungFuJoe Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 The point is that regardless if the dynamic of the relationship (healthy,unhealthy), it's about looks. Confident with confident, abusive with abusee, crack head with crack head. I get zero, zilch, nada. I'm a funny guy, somewhat witty. Good head on my shoulders, good natured. I thought I used a good example (apparently not) that passive/shy men wind up with controlling women.Why can't I find someone? All the liars, cheaters, "normal" people can. People are so weak they'll date when there still hurting over an ex because they can't be alone. Mind you being alone is all I know. I've never strung a woman aling untill something better came along, mabye that's my problem?? No. That's not your problem.
ChessPieceFace Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 OP you are wrong. First off, relationships don't all fall into those false categories. Second, you somehow use confident and good-looking interchangeably, which makes no sense (I used to be good-looking and have zero self-esteem or confidence.) If you want to follow your instinct to go after aggressive/dominating women then fine, however I think it's generally a recipe for failure and a bad idea. Just like it's generally a recipe for failure and a bad idea for women to go after bad boy alpha males. So instead of trying to make excuses for your lack of success by inventing fake categories to put yourself in, why not look at the destructive patterns of behavior you're following and try to change them for the better.
Author SJC2008 Posted January 4, 2013 Author Posted January 4, 2013 OP you are wrong. First off, relationships don't all fall into those false categories. Second, you somehow use confident and good-looking interchangeably, which makes no sense (I used to be good-looking and have zero self-esteem or confidence.) If you want to follow your instinct to go after aggressive/dominating women then fine, however I think it's generally a recipe for failure and a bad idea. Just like it's generally a recipe for failure and a bad idea for women to go after bad boy alpha males. So instead of trying to make excuses for your lack of success by inventing fake categories to put yourself in, why not look at the destructive patterns of behavior you're following and try to change them for the better. Thanks for your feed back! Pyro hit the nail on the head in that a healthy R is lead by both parties in certain areas. I don't know where I equated good looks with confidence so if that's the impression I gave it wasn't intended. I seem to have overcomplicated the OP when I thought it would help get my point accross. My main point is that regardless if the dynamic of the relationship, looks still matter. So if I can't even get a controlling woman (not saying I want one) where does that leave me? Better single than miserable and coupled up I guess. The sad thing is that if the last woman I dated was over her ex and she wanted to be with me I would. Knowing I shouldn't because she's controlling. I've been alone so long I'm starting to think it would be better to be in a bad R than alone, and that's NOT good.
ChessPieceFace Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 I should add - I am also inherently attracted to dominant, aggressive bipolar psycho women and I know what a mistake it is. Not from experience (they never wanted me back) but just from reasoning. I'm so glad the psycho girl(s) I liked in my youth didn't like me, and that god forbid I didn't get stuck having a kid with one of them. I can't imagine living that kind of life, it makes me shudder just thinking about it. Even normal women are probably too crazy for me to tolerate, let alone that.
Recommended Posts