Cupcake10 Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 I don't want this to be super long, but I need to give a bit of a back story. I met a man about 4 years ago. We worked together. When we first me we were both married. I felt an instant attraction to him, but we never flirted or anything, but we did talk a lot. Soon after we met he went to work elsewhere. I thought of him from time to time. Fast forward to last year....I get a text from him out of the blue asking how I am and what I'm up to. He was divorced now and I was having problems with my husband. One night he text me how he had always liked me as more than a friend and from then on our texts got super flirty and personal. We met for coffee a few times. At the end if the summer I separated from my husband and I ended up working with him again. He's kinda like my boss. So we went out a few times. I loved being with him. We made out a few times and when things went further he said he wanted to take things slow because he really liked me. He said that he could just spend time with me and stare into my eyes for hours. I told him I felt the same way. I left that night totally happy. Then...I didn't hear fr him for 4 days. Then when I text him the next week he said that we were a bad idea because we work together. We are both independent contractors working for a company. It's not like people knowing we were together would be a problem. I said ok, I mean what else could I say? Things were kinda cold between us for a while and then one day a few weeks ago I went into his office and we talked for like an hour. It was just like we used to. Then when I left he said he wanted to give me a hug. This was not a friend hug! It was very sensual. He didn't text me over the holidays at all and when I saw him yesterday he gave me a hug again. But he has not asked me out again. I'm really not sure what to do. I like him. A lot. I know he must like me (I think) but why did he back off. Should I wait for him to make the next move? It confuses me that he said all those things about us being in a relationship bc I never asked him for that. I am just so confused!!
Maneater Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 he's giving you a lot of hot and cold vibes. not texting during the holidays is kind of a bad sign. I say you should give him the cold shoulder for a while and see how he reacts. I dont usually advocate games but at least you'll get an idea.
jcrew11 Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 If he just got divorced, then he might be wary of getting into a serious relationship or dating again. Plus, he might want to "sow his pent up wild oats" by casually dating other women through online dating or elsewhere. Find out if he is seeing other women. Also, if he has kids, then that is his first priority over the holidays. Ask him if he wants a future with you, or how he sees his future in the next year or 5 years.
2sunny Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 He started seeing someone else. Or he was seeing someone before he was flirting with you. If he's not making you his priority ---> he's probably making someone else his main focus. And don't let him keep hugging you! 1
Author Cupcake10 Posted January 5, 2013 Author Posted January 5, 2013 He doesn't have kids and neither do I. He was in a relationship after his divorce. They broke up right before we first went out. I feel like I should just back off and let things happen if they are meant to, but it's so hard.
Alia_alia Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 WOW! Am I the only one to think CONGRATULATIONS for thinking about another man and emotionally cheating on your husband?
Author Cupcake10 Posted January 5, 2013 Author Posted January 5, 2013 ?? I have been separated from my husband since August and we are getting divorced.
Alia_alia Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 I felt an instant attraction to him, but we never flirted or anything, but we did talk a lot. Soon after we met he went to work elsewhere. I thought of him from time to time. Im sorry, I've never been married and see it as somekind of sacred thing. And if my guy was attracted to a coworker and thinking about her I would personally classify it as emotional cheating... but again I know nothing of marriage
Author Cupcake10 Posted January 6, 2013 Author Posted January 6, 2013 I understand why you feel that way. I was married for 10 years and never thought about or looked at another man. My husband and I had been having a lot of problems for a while also. I never thought I'd be in this position in my life. I'm just trying to move in past a marriage and a man that didn't make me happy. As much as I wanted a happy ending with my husband things just don't always work that way. My husband is a nice guy but he was lazy and didbt want to work. I supported us by myself while taking care of the house and other things. He likes to drink and party too much and would not stop if we ever had children. Life is full of hard choices sometimes. 1
Recommended Posts