manchester Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 Okay. Well, I don't know where to start -- but before you read anything, I understand that this post might sound a little pretentious -- but I promise I am not this self-absorbed in real life -- I'm just trying to do my best to explain my situation. Here it goes: I am a 22 year old male who just graduated university with a degree in Engineering, and for my young age, I am pretty financially secure, I have great credit from my credit cards, I have minimal student loans, and I am pretty good looking and known to be a charmer. I also have my own apartment within the beltline of my city. To give a little back story: I put off casual dating in college so that I could focus on graduating on time and nailing a solid job. I am very confident and outgoing and definitely a go-getter. As of a few weeks ago, my college career has officially ended and my new question is this -- let's say that within the next six months to a year that I would like to be in a steady, committed, long-term relationship. How do I approach that? I have some friends in my age group that are girls that I would like to get to know better, but I'm not really sure where girls in my age-group are mentally right now and I don't want to come off like a creep. Women of the internet: how do I woo you? Assume that we already have a friendly relationship and that my intentions are honest. What sorts of things would you need to hear to know that I'm not just blowing smoke? When I find a girl that I am genuinely interested in, how do I tell her that I want a committed relationship without sounding like a creep? Is it even possible to say that and sound like a creep? When the time is right; how forward should I be? Thank you
Keenly Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 You are way too young to think about a SERIOUS relationship right now. You need to date lots of women and figure out what you like and what works for you FIRST. Getting married (as a man) in your 20's is retarded. So don't even think about a serious relationship. This is the time to get out and have fun. Trust me. This will benefit you more long term. You will have more time for your career and not waste money on a mooching woman. Ignore this advice if you wish but you will regret it. This answer is not absolute. Some men, like myself, prefer relationships to flings. Don't let some one tell you what to do, make the choice for yourself. 2
TouchedByViolet Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 To give a little back story: I put off casual dating in college so that I could focus on graduating on time and nailing a solid job. I am very confident and outgoing and definitely a go-getter. I hope you don't grow to hate that decision. I sure did... Anyways, based on your post sounds like you are clueless about dating. I can only hope for your sake your looks and luck save the day. Most of the items you highlight in your OP will not attract women at all. The best thing you can do is meet plenty of women, flirt with them and date them. Find out what you are looking for. Chances are you will have to meet many women to find one worth a relationship. 1
sagetalk Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 When I find a girl that I am genuinely interested in, how do I tell her that I want a committed relationship without sounding like a creep? Is it even possible to say that and sound like a creep? When the time is right; how forward should I be? She will darn near force you into it if you've been dating awhile, and she likes you. If your both attracted to each other, and love hanging out together, it just happens. The actual process is in the early dating relationship.
Keenly Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 I love the irony of this sentence. You are basically TELLING him to "make the choice for himself". Why does he need YOU to tell him that? Don't tell people what to do!!! You can't be serious. You told him what to do, I told him to think for himself. Kind of hypocritical to say don't tell people what to do, right after you told some one what to do.
ChessPieceFace Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 Only 2 pieces of advice for you, both of which end up being financial: 1.) Cut up all but 1 of your credit cards, and only use it in dire emergencies 2.) Keep a constant eye out for gold-diggers
christine07 Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 I'll date you No seriously.. 22? When I was 22 I was out having the time of my life... Most girls are like this if they are single after college, unless they clung on to a man in college and took them outta there with them.. I dunno...find an older women.. they are the ones ready to be in LRT's plus they are (not always) more mature, a 22 year old girl might not do it for you. Where to find these girls? Do you have any friends for friends that know ppl outside your circle? I find going to bars or clubbing is way to skeezy to find someone ever... Do you live in Europe more specifically England? Cuz if so I have no idea where to tell you to meet girls.. since I live in California and all I gotta do is really go to the beach. ;P j/k
rys Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 go out a lot if you have friends meeting other friends, invite yourself
jakelongot Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 You are way too young to think about a SERIOUS relationship right now. You need to date lots of women and figure out what you like and what works for you FIRST. Getting married (as a man) in your 20's is retarded. So don't even think about a serious relationship. This is the time to get out and have fun. Trust me. This will benefit you more long term. You will have more time for your career and not waste money on a mooching woman. Ignore this advice if you wish but you will regret it. This This THis. You should spend your early and mid twenties discovering what you want. This period of your life is ALL ABOUT PERSONAL GROWTH. You are finally on your own, outside the house and away from the structure of college. I would do the stuff you want to do, travel and date many women. That's not to say you can't have exclusive relationships or date women for a few months or a year, but don't be looking for a long term relationship. Worst thing you can do is settle into a long-term relationship and make your goals synonomous with your goals as a couple. You might look back in 5 or 10 years and realize you didn't want any of those things, but didn't know it because you were too busy being in love. You are young and there is plenty of time to fall in love, get married and have kids. However there is a much more finite time to travel, goof-off, advance your career and do the things that are much harder to do outside your 20's.
edgygirl Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 Why is everyone telling OP NOT to do what he wants? People are different and if he want a serious relationship and not to be fooling around with a 100 girls in his 20s, it's his prerogative. Not everyone needs variety to know what they want in life. I chose the opposite route and here I am, single again. I think dating a million people is not as pleasant as everyone is trying to make it. I sincerely wish more men thought like OP. Dating was less complicated for everyone when guys thought like he does. OP, the problem you might find is that most girls in their 20s these days are not looking for a serious relationship. You should try to determine early on from girls you meet if they want to focus on career or are looking for long term.
KungFuJoe Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 Op, Eat right! Brush your teeth! Sit up straight! Don't chew with your mouth open! Speak up! And most importantly, don't let ANYONE tell you what to do!
jakelongot Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 Why is everyone telling OP NOT to do what he wants? People are different and if he want a serious relationship and not to be fooling around with a 100 girls in his 20s, it's his prerogative. Not everyone needs variety to know what they want in life. I chose the opposite route and here I am, single again. I think dating a million people is not as pleasant as everyone is trying to make it. I sincerely wish more men thought like OP. Dating was less complicated for everyone when guys thought like he does. OP, the problem you might find is that most girls in their 20s these days are not looking for a serious relationship. You should try to determine early on from girls you meet if they want to focus on career or are looking for long term. I can't speak for everybody, but I'm not telling him to do anything. It is simply the best advice I can offer from the experience that i've had. Honestly, I wish someone had sat me down and told me what I explained in my last post. I understand where he is coming from and I think his line of thinking is logical. Seems like the next thing to check off in the "to do list" he set out for himself. What i'm saying is don't get caught up too much in the "looking for a long term relationship game". I wasted A TON of time doing the same thing. I often disqualified girls way too early because they didn't fit my requirements of what I thought a girlfriend should be. In retrospect, I probably missed out on some fun with girls that may have not been wife material, but would have been a great to date and fool around with. Also, in the process I probably brought more misery into my life wondering why I couldn't find a girlfriend or "what is wrong with me". tl;dr = concentrate on living life and having fun, not looking for a long term relationship because you think that's what next. You need to have faith that if you are making yourself the happiest and best person you can be, you will find the right girl on your journey ** THIS MIGHT BE THE BEST ADVICE I'VE EVER GIVEN ON THIS SITE **
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