GraceisGone Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 I have been trying not to think about things anymore, especially good memories, lately and have been feeling a little better. I have known for a while the only thing to do is try and move on, but as we all know, that is a little easier said than done. I'm going on almost a solid 2 months of no contact, and I guess that has been helping, but I can't say that I don't hope that one day she will contact me. I got put down today when I saw she deleted me from twitter. I took her off of Facebook and Twitter a long time ago, but she had always still followed me on Twitter. I guess it just hurts because I feel like that was the last connection I had to her and even though I was speaking directly at her, she could still see what I was up to. It's not like anything I said was about her or would be too painful for her to see, so it just kind of sucks that it finally happened, I really didn't expect it ever to happen. This is the first time in a long time I have wanted to contact her. I wanna ask her why she did it and just talk to her again, see how she has been. I miss her being in my life and I miss talking to her. This is a tough time of the year, because I have so many memories with her around this time. I hate the thought of never talking to her again. I have been proud of the fact that I haven't caved in and contacted her, but I really want to now. I know nothing will come of it, but I just miss the way we used to talk, and it's hard to tell my brain that I can't have that back by just sending her a text. This is the most down I have been in quite a while. It just kills me inside to just see how happy we used to be together and now it's gone. She's not the kind of person that will ever forget about me, I know that (after all I was the first guy she loved). It just really sucks knowing I may never speak to her again.
na49 Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 I've been NC for about the same amount of time as you. I had some rough days this week. I got home from the movies last night and cried my eyes out over her. The first time in a while. I wanted to check on her. I want to know what's going on in her life. Is her life really that much better without me? Why isn't she miserable like me? I wish she'd feel some of the pain that I'm feeling but she's dating new guys and has no problem treating me as "just another one". Like I really don't mean anything? It hurts so bad. Every day of NC will be a struggle, I miss talking to my ex just like you miss talking to yours. But do you really miss talking to her? Would you be able to talk to her as a friend? Hearing about her new guy? How great he is? How in love with him she is? Wouldn't that hurt? Just stay strong, try to stay busy, keep posting here. That's what I've been doing. You MIGHT talk to her again one day. That day won't be for a while, and by the time you're at that point you may be over her and not feel like trying to rekindle a friendship. You'll have met new people who you like more. (shocking, I know) 1
Author GraceisGone Posted January 4, 2013 Author Posted January 4, 2013 Yeah, our stories seem very similar. Even to the point where both of our exes came back (mine came back and we were back together for a little while, then transitioned me into the friend zone because it made it easier for her to move on, you on the other hand stayed no contact, the smart thing to do). It sucks, it really does. I honestly can't even remember what it was like to be happy without her in my life. And the answer to all your questions is NO absolutely not. While this is my first serious relationship (and 1st to last more than like 2 months), I've been down that road before. I was friends with the girl and had no intention of dating her. Then she came on to me, we hooked up for a little while, but there were other guys involved. Obviously, at that point, I cared more about her than she did me, so it hurt, even back then, to still talk to her and hear about her other guys. So I can't imagine what it would be like with my current ex, because I was in love with her. Plus, unlike the girl in the past, my ex and I were never just friends, we were always involved with eachother as more than friends. I know some people will bash me for this, but I really feel like it's time for me to starting talking and hanging out with some other girls. I am a generally very shy person before I get to know someone and coming out of my shell and being on the offensive with girls is something I really want to work on before graduating this year. I have posted this here before, but every girl I have dated or whatever, has almost always come to me (it's not like I go to a bar and girls I don't know flock around me, but you know what I mean, girls I know are the one to pursue me, not the other way around). I want to, for once in my life, pursue a girl I like and have it work out for me (sure there have been the random drunk hook-ups, but that's not what I mean). I have been around people that I know and have been comfortable with my whole life, and my fear is that when I graduate and move away and know 0 people, my shyness and pain over my ex will cause me to put up a wall. I know how you feel though man. It sucks. It just shows how much we cared and invested in the relationship. I have been wondering lately, if every relationship I get in from now on, I should just not care. I feel like everytime I start to really care about someone and like them, I get dumped. Hell, even with this girl that I dated for so long, I can see it. At the beginning of our rship, I acted like I didn't care and she was head over heels and texting me 24/7. Then, she was upset about that, so I started caring too much (apparently) and fell in love with her. And what do you know, I got dumped. Where's the happy medium? You don't care enough, and you're a s###### person (I have to say, acting like I don't care isn't who I am). Then you care too much, and you look like a huge p#### and get dumped. Is being a caring person, especially for someone you love, a bad thing in today's society? Because from my experiences, being the nice guy hasn't gotten me s###.
Author GraceisGone Posted January 4, 2013 Author Posted January 4, 2013 I've really let this get to me. It just feels like even though we weren't talking, this was the last little bit of contact we could have. I just feel like I need a huge confidence boost with all of this. It seems like nothing can go right anymore. Guess sometimes you just have to learn to deal with being in a slump.
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