joebob83 Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 I won't bore you with long stories or tedious details. Here are the bare-bones: There's a girl at work. She's been working there for a while now. We're in our mid-20's. We've chatted a fair bit, (enough to know some personal details about each other's lives,) always exchange greetings, but we work in different areas. As such, the most time I could ever expect to spend near her is about 10% of the work day. Yesterday was anomalous, we were assigned to the same task all day, so it was just me and her. All day. Nobody else. I initiated most of the conversation. I tried to keep it fairly light, both in topic and quantity; I didn't talk her ear off, I swear. And she always acted very friendly, gave good answers to questions, we had several nice mini-conversations. But. She only initiated maybe 10% of the talking. And whereas I asked her a lot of general questions about herself, she never, not once, asked me anything remotely personal. Never even threw back a "what about you?" Obviously, that's not very encouraging. Pretty straightforward. BUT! Then comes lunch. And out of nowhere, she sits right next to me. This has NEVER happened in the months she's been working here. And it's not as if none of the people she normally ate with were there, they were. And there were plenty of seats. But suddenly, there she is, we eat, we make conversation, it's nice. Then we finish out the work day and it's right back to how I described above. So, I'm just slightly curious. What the hell?
RachR Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 Well, she sat next to you. Sometimes actions are louder than words. Maybe she's shy? I can be shy, and often later I rerun it in my head how I didn't show interest back or ask them questions about themselves. 1
sagetalk Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 So, I'm just slightly curious. What the hell? Be extremely careful here. Do not get emotionally attached to this girl too early. Give her opportunities to talk to you, not you to her. You need her talking to build affection towards you. If she responds with lame, short answers, I would say her attraction is low towards you, or she has an extremely bad personality. Neither of those is a good thing.
Eddie Edirol Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 Thinhk about this, she might have sat next to you to avoid sitting with the people she usually sits with. Maybe to make someone else jealous. Doesnt have to have anythin to do with you. Next time you work with her, dont say anything until she initiates. make her think youre not into her anymore...make her wonder why. Make her earn your conversation. Act like youre too cool to talk with her. You went too far initiating most of the last conversation, now she KNOWS you like her, which killed the mystery....if you even had a chance.
truth_seeker Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 All mixed signals = Not that into you. Anytime a woman gives you anything less than enthusiasm.. she is either playing a game or not that interested. Usually both. If she is playing games, then she is manipulative. Not a good start for a relationship. OR... it could mean she's not sure of him yet. She might not know if he likes her. She might be thinking: "Is he hitting on me or is he just being a friendly co-worker?" He needs to continue being himself and let her warm up to him. Sitting next to him was a sign. There are some people who get nervous and don't know how to respond or open up to new people. I do agree with another poster that you shouldn't catch feelings for her this early on. Keep chatting her up but don't force it.
GorillaTheater Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 One thing I agree with the PUA advocates on is this: don't be afraid of rejection. If it's going to happen, get to it quickly. In other words, roll the dice and ask her out. 1
jcrew11 Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 Maybe she doesn't want to have "personal talk" during working hours as that would make her look unprofessional. Just try to get her cell number or talk to her outside of work at happy hour. She is also worried about appearing to be the "office slut" if other men are chasing after her. See if she sits next to you at lunch again, then that is a good sign.
truth_seeker Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 If a woman needs to think that hard she isn't into you. Simple as that. You can kid yourself all you want but you will lose in the end. We're talking about a girl he barely knows at work. It could be the environment that makes her hesitant to open up or she could be shy or she is unsure of his motives, ie, flirting or friendly.
truth_seeker Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 When a girl is into you.. none of that matters. Trust me. A girl who likes a guy will not risk losing out on him over stupid technical stuff. A good way to keep your mind planted in REALITY when it comes to dealing with women is to ask yourself this question: "What would she do if I was Brad Pitt / Channing Tatum / Ryan Gosling?" A woman who is into you will treat you like she is into you. She will make it CLEAR that she is interested. Anything less and her interest is lukewarm or non-existent. This is a FACT women like to deny (because they still want the attention) and men are too prideful to accept. Women know pretty fast if they are attracted to you. If you can't tell if a woman likes you its because she doesn't. I have seen ZERO exceptions to this rule. Every girl that ever liked me gave me that look that women give you. You just know. While there were a few women who gave me that look who ended up not liking me.. there have been ZERO women who liked me and didn't give me that look. 1) Some women, yes, but not all women. Have you ever been on the fence about a person, then after getting more comfortable around them, getting to know them better, all of the sudden liked them? It happens. 2) I agree with you 100% about the look.
Recommended Posts