ActionJ623 Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 (edited) I basically put up my breakup in a previous thread but for those of you reading this that don't know, in short, this is the story: Me and my on and off ex (We have both been the dumpee and dumper....I know interesting) recently took a "I want to figure out what I really want" kinda break with me as the dumpee now this wasn't a complete shock as the on and off thing has put a damper on us both but the "new" guy she was crushing on was a shock. Initially, she had fallen for him and all that jazz and I really wish her all the best but she stringed me along for approximately 2 months and this pissed me off BIG time. With the constant "looking for true love"status updates and pictures of them together I told her is my rage, it was best for us to be friends maybe but I still love her and if she ever needs me i'm here. Boom I wanna move on goodbye let the NC begin, however, along with all the other people that have done NC it's obviously easier said than done. In the stringing along she said she loved me and sometime even pretended the breakup hadn't happened...like she wanted to try again and this confused me even more which now in NC seems to haunt me but I tell myself I was her plan B and if she really wanted to try one last time she would message. But then we have of course the dreaded FB (for those reading this just block them or turn off their notifications and appear offline to them ) status comes along and I slip up and see she says "I wish for once somebody didn't give up on me" right then and there I wanted to continue fighting for her...but I realize I fought for about 2 months for us to work and try again one lasting time. However, now I realize that NC is the best way to view or relationship from a different point of view and maybe realizing what I want isn't her and what i'm missing right now is just a companion. It doesn't make it easier no, but in the early days of NC the only easy thing is second guessing your decisions and wanting to tell the other person you miss them so I will persevere. I believe LS is a perfect community in order to get out these built up feelings and help with the NC process and I might use this thread as a day by day NC guide...it's still up in the air with the busy schedule n all. One thing in my current situation I HATE is that my friends all had a crush on my gf as well while we were dating, they didn't try anything while we were dating but now it's like no matter how many times I say her name is off limits they bring it up anyway :mad: plus my ex still has some of my stuff...a friend offered to pick it up and I thanked him immensely but he won't contact her about picking it up so I guess she will keep it while i'm on my NC journey...it's pointless items anyway. So I guess in some way I hope to help others while being a symbol of second chances, because believe it or not the very first time we broke up she left me and when I got her back she stayed...this is the first time I feel I lost control of the situations, and i'm a control freak....I guess NC makes me really look at my past mistake and flaws in a relationship and get better If anybody want's to add tips of NC to me or their own NC stories please feel free to Edited January 3, 2013 by ActionJ623
na49 Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 "I wish for once somebody didn't give up on me" My ex said the same thing. It drove me absolutely insane. She thought I gave up on HER? SHE WAS THE ONE WHO DUMPED ME! I WAS THE ONE ASKING TO TALK ABOUT THINGS! HOW COULD SOMEONE BE SO CRUEL? lol okay, sorry but reading your post. I had a flashback because my ex said the same damn thing. I even told her after (before I'd gone NC) that I never gave up on her. Didn't mean much at that point though. I'm glad to see you're doing better. NC is definitely a struggle every day but the feelings start to go away. I want my ex a little less now than I did two months ago. Hopefully two months from now will be even better. Blocking her pretty much everywhere sucks because I won't hear from her. In the long term, I can't heal when I'm hearing from her. Especially when she's sending me things like "I miss you" and "We need to talk" "I really want to talk to you" I grew a pair for a few minutes and told her "There's nothing we need to talk about. Leave me alone" and blocked her. The healing continues.. NC is all about us. It's not about them anymore. 2
MyAngel Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 Some dumpers dump and expect to get chased I think. I know with certainty I would have chased too but I was told to please don't try and contact so I have respected that request for almost 4 weeks. I think she maybe thought I'd chase her but that request has stopped me. I can't disobey that and besides if someone says "don't contact me" they should mean it and not play games. I've no doubt she means it. Please keep up the nc. It will get easier for us all over time.
Author ActionJ623 Posted January 4, 2013 Author Posted January 4, 2013 Day 9 of NC I think today is gonna be one of the worse days simply because I have nothing to do and i'm holding still causing me to think about aaaalllll the times we had. I haven't gotten past 10 days of NC because she always re-initiates somehow but contact or not I am continuing NC...it just hurts a little extra because she has 100+ guy friends and I know they are there comforting her making her feel like I am completely in the wrong and I use to be the one she talked to and she may probably isnt even talking about me, just her other lovey dovey crush that isn't going her way and he apparently is leading her on and all that jazz....but i'm here with nobody to really talk to (except the LS community ) and missing her. Again I'm persevering..maybe a jog will do.
Gaby Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 Man i've been there too( and am now btw) But idd do NOT CONTACT her. I did the same mistake over and over agian, she asked will you come over, talk to me miss you etc etc.. To be honest breadcrums were actually nice, but dont mean much cause the next day she wont say a word... Hang in there, you'll make it in the end you will laugh about it.
almosteverythingx Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 Oh sounds like she had a bruised ego there. My ex has had a lot of them lately as I am keeping busy. It seems to be figured out for you here, Stick to no contact. Leave her alone, if she texts please try to ignore her. She messed you around for 2 month. You now need to now see what happens, it could be you leaving her alone for a while makes her realise how she truly feels. Rebound relationships work only 90 per cent of the time... so only time will tell.
Author ActionJ623 Posted January 5, 2013 Author Posted January 5, 2013 Today is kinda of a good/interesting day because I have never gotten past 10 consecutive days of NC but I still have those NC doubts like, "Am I just pushing her further away?" "Is NC the same as giving up?" which as she said since everybody is giving up on her (which drove me absolutely crazy, like are you just idk completely stupid to what i'm saying to you and crazy for playing these games) but I am becoming more indifferent to the situation and moving on....and even though she played me out as the "bad" boyfriend (which is a shame because this was my first go at a real relationship) she is slowly becoming a memory.
Recommended Posts