Head is spinning!!!!

[evondavis1]

WTH! How much more can I handle!!!??? So I had a recent thread on here, from November. Long story short – I was with my ex for 7 years, owned a business, lived together, have a 3 year old son together, life, home, dogs, etc…etc… During those 7 years, I had kicked him out 5 different times. The first time was 7 months into the relationship because I was overwhelmed when he asked me to start a company with him. I had a full time job, and started this company from scratch, by myself. I remember sitting on the floor in my condo, crying my eyes out because it was too much. So I told him I can’t handle all this pressure. The relationship moving so fast (he had moved in) working full time, and now starting this company, all for him! This was temporary and only overnight. He came back the next day. Maybe I was too emotional, but I had way too much on my plate.

The second and third times I really don’t remember, and as a matter a fact, I don’t remember them because they were during the time I was pregnant, or he has made them up in his head. Either way. I know for sure I made him leave 3 times.

The second time was the summer of 2011. I had enough of how he was treating me, criticizing, blowing me off, totally unemotional, never wanted to do anything, etc. etc. He left for a few weeks and stayed at a friends. During that time, we talked and talked and he slowly came back. After a few days, he got distant and I found out that he was talking to an ex from 15 years ago. I asked if he had feelings for her and he said “I don’t know”.. So I kicked him out again. Am I wrong? Who would deal with that after 6 years, a business, a baby, a life???? Later he told me that he said that to piss me off. Well he sure did. We got back together a few weeks later. Everything was fine for another year, 2012. Until the end of August. He as mean, criticizing, and blowing me off again. So I went through his phone, and saw a few text messages from several girls. One was of the same girl from last summer, showing off her body in a picture because she lost weight. I had enough. I kicked him out again, made him leave.

During all these years, I always told him how happy I would be if he would marry me. Now I know that he never truly cared. I did everything, and I was used.

So anyways, August of 2012, we break up. 1 week later he finds a new girlfriend. Marries her 6 weeks later. So here is an update. My ex called me last weekend to “rehash” and “get closure” as he said. We went down memory lane and the demise of the relationship for 90 minutes. Still everything is my fault according to him, but I know my truth. I don’t have to defend myself, but I feel like I have to with him always! So towards the end of the conversation, he tell me his new wife is pregnant!!! WTF!!!

Mind you, they met less than 4 months ago, 1 week after we broke up. Married her 6 weeks later, and now she is “accidentally” pregnant, and this is still my fault because I kicked him out. I told him he should have been a man and made me happy, but instead he took off on this downward spiral of a life.

The wife is 24, 13 years younger than my ex. A Russian immigrant here in the US on a student VISA. Now the ex is broke, no job because we are dissolving the company we own together, lives with his sister, his wife lives in another state, 3 hours away. No car insurance, no health insurance, not a pot to piss in. Who makes these terrible choices? Yet, it is still my fault because I kicked him out.

[blotter]

How long are you going to lap up the sordid details of his life?

[Bluem]

First of all, ignore the a-hole above because they're obviously just bitter and this is personal for them.

 

You had every right to break up with him if he was not committing to you. He proved you right! The problem here is that you agreed to get back together with him every time - that's dysfunctional! Break the cycle. It's over and it should have been over a long time ago. How much more of your time are you going to waste on this dude? He's treated you wrong from the beginning and has hurt you along the way (which is why you keep breaking up with him), so why are you still questioning his actions? This is the way he is - he's messed up.

 

Stop acknowledging his existence. If he wants to see your son, fine, he's the father and has the right to do that. He, however, does not have a right to see you. Take control. If he wants to talk about something - tell him you're only interested in talking about your son. If he sends you texts/messages/emails/whatever irrelevant to your son - do not read. Just delete.