jcrew11 Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 Has anyone here dated someone from a different religion or race? Did you ever encounter any problems? What kind of problems did you encounter? Do you think different religions or races can cause problems with yourself, your friends, or your family?
EasyHeart Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 Has anyone here dated someone from a different religion or race? Did you ever encounter any problems? What kind of problems did you encounter? Do you think different religions or races can cause problems with yourself, your friends, or your family? Yes, many times. No. N/A No.
DC4 Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 Yes. My ex was a devout Catholic and I am a godless heathen. We both accepted that part of each other and it was fine. He didn't preach to me about religion and I didn't lecture him on what I thought about religion. My family is Catholic so obviously they were really hoping he could "turn me around" so that wasn't an issue. I'm not sure if his family knew I was agnostic at best (atheist most days). It wasn't ever brought up to me.
soccerrprp Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 Has anyone here dated someone from a different religion or race? Did you ever encounter any problems? What kind of problems did you encounter? Do you think different religions or races can cause problems with yourself, your friends, or your family? I am multi-ethnic myself. I have had the privilege of dating ladies of all backgrounds. No problems and if there were, didn't see them. Don't care either, what other people think. This is the 21st century and I happen to be attracted to lovely women regardless of background, ethnicity.
Clockwork Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 Never dated someone outside of my race. I have dated someone outside of my religion. Were there problems? I think so. Whether you like it or not when there is an issue as deep as religion in the mix you are going to have some obvious disagreements along the way. Naturally you are going to think differently about some serious issues. If someone gets up Sunday morning for church every week and the other one sleeps in, maybe has a few too many on Saturday night, then I think you automatically will have a wall up there. Also, how do you raise your children under which belief?
edgygirl Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 Yes I've dated non-Jewish guys. Doesn't work that well. They hold it in the beginning but when the nasty sarcastic jokes begin, there's no way back. Too much of a headache and I prefer not to. Besides, the discussion about possible kids upbringing always comes in the way.
CarrieT Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 Yes, many times. No. N/A No. I was going to post the same answers... I've dated African Americans, Japanese, American Indian, Eastern Indian, and more. Being an occultist, I have dated Satanists, Jews, Christians, and Muslims. I am now engaged to a Lutheran who knows I am an occultist. He is raising his children in the church and does not have a problem with my faith nor do I with his. I think if people are open, honest and forthright, there does not need to be problems. 1
MsSmurf Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 Has anyone here dated someone from a different religion or race? Did you ever encounter any problems? What kind of problems did you encounter? Do you think different religions or races can cause problems with yourself, your friends, or your family? I am multi-ethnic, but 95% of the time I have dated guys that were very ethnically different from myself. I am also not religious so about 80% of the time I'm dating a guy that has a religion. The most common problem I've encountered are stares/rude comments from strangers, but that's pretty easy to shake off. In a few situations his family made it clear I was unwelcome and he did nothing to defend me or our relationship. That then marked the end of our relationship. My family is a mixed bag and interracial dating is very common and encouraged. Now some of my relatives are devoutly religious and don't encourage interreligious (that probably isn't a word) dating, but if you stand your ground they'll shut their traps. My friends are also very open minded and have no issues with interracial or interreligious dating.
ThaWholigan Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 Has anyone here dated someone from a different religion or race? Had sex with an Asian. Does that count? . And a mixed girl (half black/white). Did date another girl with the same mix, but didn't go further than kisses and drinks. Did you ever encounter any problems? Not so far because technically I haven't really "dated" either of them. What kind of problems did you encounter? Hiding the nature of the encounters from my mum . Do you think different religions or races can cause problems with yourself, your friends, or your family? Mum's keen on me not dating interracially - although I'd imagine that she just doesn't want me dating white girls. I may do it anyway just to see the look on her face . As for religion, I'm not particularly religious myself, but I imagine that if I brought home a girl who is like a satanist or pagan etc that won't go down well with most of my family and peers who are mostly Christian or have similar practices - also have one Muslim cousin.
Clockwork Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 Not sure what the Quran says but I know the Bible discourages marriages if the other person is "unequally yoked". Meaning, God didn't want the idea of a non-believer marrying a believer in him from the get go since he probably knew there would be problems. I am guessing the Quran is similar that way. So from a biblical standpoint God believes marrying a non-believer will lead to problems which I can assume the biggest one would be children.
sagetalk Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 Has anyone here dated someone from a different religion or race? Did you ever encounter any problems? What kind of problems did you encounter? Do you think different religions or races can cause problems with yourself, your friends, or your family? 1. Different religion denomination and race, yes 2. Yes, cultural differences can be difficult depending on how different their race's culture is. Religious differences are even more difficult, especially if your family is devote in their faith. 3. A thousand times yes. It depends on how closely your family watches over you. If they are protective, it can be extremely difficult to date outside of your religion. If they have a "whatever you want" attitude, then it's much easier.
sweetkiwi Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 I have dated Jewish guys, Christian guys, and a Muslim . Only religious problems I had were with a Christian guy. At the time I didn't care. I was into him. Then it got worse and worse and he told me he wanted to abstain from sex. Around that time all kinds of weird stuff came to light and I ended it. I am of mixed nationality, though everyone sees me as white. I am the most pale in my family. But growing up with brown people (my family) hating other brown people (the poor ones) made me realize they were bigots. I have dated every single time outside my race. Never encountered race related problems. Or If I did they didn't matter at the time.
SilverStar Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 I myself am a mix of three different races. Everyone is always confused and asking my heritage. lol. So all of my relationships are technically interracial. I've dated allllll types. Never had any problems. I am also a godless heathen. Yet I've dated Mormons, Wiccians, Agnostic, Catholic, Lutheran and even fellow Atheists. Never have I ever had a problem in either case.
ThaWholigan Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 I have dated Jewish guys, Christian guys, and a Muslim . Only religious problems I had were with a Christian guy. At the time I didn't care. I was into him. Then it got worse and worse and he told me he wanted to abstain from sex. Around that time all kinds of weird stuff came to light and I ended it. I am of mixed nationality, though everyone sees me as white. I am the most pale in my family. But growing up with brown people (my family) hating other brown people (the poor ones) made me realize they were bigots. I have dated every single time outside my race. Never encountered race related problems. Or If I did they didn't matter at the time. Hmmmm, now I'm curious about what mix you are
sweetkiwi Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 Hmmmm, now I'm curious about what mix you are I am sicilian, native American, Spanish, German, French, and who knows. I have dated Asian/Mexican, Irish/Mexican, Jews, Italians, white guys. And a couple of Arabic guys.
tigressA Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 (edited) All of my relationships are interracial as I am of mixed race heritage. I've never been religious and my first boyfriend was a pretty devout Lutheran who was saving himself for marriage. We didn't last that long I have dated several Indian men, all of whom were U.S. transplants, having come over for an advanced degree and/or a job offer, so they were born and raised in India. Those were the most problematic relationships, particularly my last two. The cultural differences were pretty immense. For all their talk about being liberal, they definitely had more conservative ideas about women than they would've liked to admit and it showed. I remember when my ex and I got into a huge argument over a profile picture I had up on my Facebook--he thought it was too provocative and I should take it down because his Indian friends and family (siblings) could see it. I told him to shove it. I wasn't taken very seriously because I'm American, and they looked down on me for having less formal education and earning significantly less money than they did--it seemed like if you're not a doctor, engineer, lawyer or executive (or training to become such), you're 'less than'. My last ex later admitted he never told his parents what I did for work because he was ashamed. Edited January 4, 2013 by tigressA
Nyla Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 As a black woman, I have found that I have had similar bad experiences with men of my own race. That is not a statement about black men; it has just been my own unfortunate exposure. I made a conscious decision to stop dating black men, because I didn't like the patterns I saw in the way they treated their own black women. I also witnessed black women being mistreated by black men my whole life. This is not to say that white men are perfect. Some white men fetishize black women and they are only curious about what it is like to sleep with one, so there is the danger of being used for sex but not being girlfriend material. Men of any race can be terrible or wonderful....my reality has been that white men have generally treated me with more respect and class. I have dated men who were so-called "Christians" and I found them to be hypocrites. They preached against sex before marriage, but made love to me every night except Sunday or lost their virginity to strippers. We get a lot of stares from all races and hostility from blacks, especially black women who personify the awful stereotypes. I don't care what trashy ghetto women think. I don't associate myself with blacks who believe that speaking properly or using birth control is "acting white". 3
TheFinalWord Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 Not sure what the Quran says but I know the Bible discourages marriages if the other person is "unequally yoked". Meaning, God didn't want the idea of a non-believer marrying a believer in him from the get go since he probably knew there would be problems. I am guessing the Quran is similar that way. So from a biblical standpoint God believes marrying a non-believer will lead to problems which I can assume the biggest one would be children. That's a good overall explanation Please allow me to expand to show the spiritual connotations. Jesus stated: For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh." When we have sex, we become "one flesh" with that person. The bible also states, that the body of a believer in Christ, is a temple of the Holy Spirit. Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh.” But whoever is united with the Lord is one with him in spirit. Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies. As believers, our body is the temple of God. Paul continues in 2 Cor. 6: Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. What is there in common between the temple of God and idols? King David, the ancestor of Jesus, told us there is nothing in common between idols and the Lord Why do the nations say,“Where is their God?” Our God is in heaven; he does whatever pleases him. But their idols are made by human hands. They have mouths, but cannot speak, eyes, but cannot see. They have ears, but cannot hear, noses, but cannot smell. They have hands, but cannot feel, feet, but cannot walk, nor can they utter a sound with their throats. Those who make them will be like them, and so will all who trust in them Follow God's counsel, not man's opinion which is like chaff and like the life span of man: here today, gone tomorrow. Blessed is the one who does not heed the counsel of the ungodly, but whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and who meditates on his law day and night. That person is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither—whatever they do prospers. Not so the wicked! They are like chaff that the wind blows away. For the Lord watches over the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked will perish. Live a life pleasing to God. Paul gave clear instructions: It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the unbelievers, who do not know God; and that in this matter no one should wrong or take advantage of a brother or sister. For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. Therefore, anyone who rejects this instruction does not reject a human being but God. Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. OP, I know you asked this question before. I am not sure if you are a believer or not. If you are, I hope you are asking this b/c you know deep down what the answer is and are not looking for a "work around" to reject God's clear instructions in this area. “All people are like grass. The grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of our God endures forever.” 1
Author jcrew11 Posted January 5, 2013 Author Posted January 5, 2013 All of my relationships are interracial as I am of mixed race heritage. I've never been religious and my first boyfriend was a pretty devout Lutheran who was saving himself for marriage. We didn't last that long I have dated several Indian men, all of whom were U.S. transplants, having come over for an advanced degree and/or a job offer, so they were born and raised in India. Those were the most problematic relationships, particularly my last two. The cultural differences were pretty immense. For all their talk about being liberal, they definitely had more conservative ideas about women than they would've liked to admit and it showed. I remember when my ex and I got into a huge argument over a profile picture I had up on my Facebook--he thought it was too provocative and I should take it down because his Indian friends and family (siblings) could see it. I told him to shove it. I wasn't taken very seriously because I'm American, and they looked down on me for having less formal education and earning significantly less money than they did--it seemed like if you're not a doctor, engineer, lawyer or executive (or training to become such), you're 'less than'. My last ex later admitted he never told his parents what I did for work because he was ashamed. I think men from all races tend to be more conservative than women. I think men just don't want to change especially for every women they date. It might be a sign of weakness.
Goodbye Blue Sky Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 (edited) I've dated a few guys outside of my race. Black guys, mostly. It's not a preference or whatever, I just date whoever I like. I guess the biggest problem would come in where parents have a strong opinion, but my parents were pretty chill. So far, I've never introduced any of my boyfriends to my grandparents, but I can imagine that going down... Not too well. I'd never had a problem with any of their parents either The worst thing for me was other white girls who thought I was dating Black men for some sort of novelty or rebellion. I had some friends at the time who sort of just dismissed my boyfriends because they didn't think I was seriously dating them. Some of my white guy friends made jokes about me just being into "Big D"... All that **** was pretty annoying. I've had some ghetto Black women throw comments (loudly), trying to instigate something, but it didn't really bother me... I found that a lot of Black women gave me props, found that pretty amusing. Then of course there are the looks people give in public. Luckily I live in the city so it's not weird to see mixed race couples, but sometimes older people gave us funny looks. I dated a mixed-race guy briefly. In certain places he wouldn't hold my hand in public - I didn't stick around with him long enough to find out what that was all about Edited January 9, 2013 by Goodbye Blue Sky
taiko Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 The first time was in 1980 and over the years I think I have hit every major racial group except indigenous Australians and Americans, although a few Latinas may have been mostly Native American. I self identify as Black and when religion became an important factor for me I ended up with first a Vietnamese Catholic then I married a Filipino Catholic although I attend a Pentecostal church
KungFuJoe Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 Tough subject. I'm pretty much agnostic so I think anyone who was a devout follower of any religion...probably would be a deal breaker for me. And if you are a devout Christian...you can show yourself the door, thank you very much.
TheZebra Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 I dated a Canadian once. That felt like a whole different planet Dated a religious guy too... the no sex before marriage thing kinda killed it. though we weren't a good match for other reasons too.
sillyanswer Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 Has anyone here dated someone from a different religion or race? Did you ever encounter any problems? Yes, Yes and Yes. However, I don't have any reason to think that the problems were related to religion or race... they were just run-of-the-mill dating problems or occasionally different culture problems (eg dating a foreigner).
umirano Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 I dated pretty much everything from the northern hemisphere, and come to think of it, some of the southern too. Race only has ever been a problem for others. It is beyond my understanding how types of hair or skin colors impact how you feel about a person. I'm not that visual, though I appreciate symmetry, health and sexiness. I'm a Non-supernaturalist, and to me all the relationships with anyone with delusional beliefs carry a high risk of failing. Not because of their beliefs, but because of the way of thinking one needs to adopt in order to reconcile those silly beliefs with everyday experience. This kind of thinking makes it difficult for many people I have met, to see clearly and and assess situations and problems realistically.
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