DC4 Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 Funny you should liken it to porn. I actually wouldn't have a problem with him watching porn. Hell, I would even watch it with him because I enjoy it too. But I would have an issue with him watching porn, without including me, when I'm in the room. I like to people watch too. But his people watching just seems to exclude me. Like I don't exist or am not good enough. AH, so there you go. Everyone has a weak spot in their ego. sounds like yours may be how attractive you feel. I am very self-conscious about my station in life. If my date was to go on and on about how some women he knew had this great job and he admired her career, I would DIE of anger. If he went on for 30 minutes about how delicious her breasts were, it would be like white noise to me.
DC4 Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 I get that people do look at other beautiful people. I just think it shows he's not interested in me. I really, really disagree. Sounds like I am the minority here, though.
Author sayitasitis Posted January 3, 2013 Author Posted January 3, 2013 Yes, yes I would. No way! Wow. If only he would be the one telling me this.
Author sayitasitis Posted January 3, 2013 Author Posted January 3, 2013 I really, really disagree. Sounds like I am the minority here, though. You're not alone. Greznog is with you, from his latest post.
Author sayitasitis Posted January 3, 2013 Author Posted January 3, 2013 AH, so there you go. Everyone has a weak spot in their ego. sounds like yours may be how attractive you feel. I am very self-conscious about my station in life. If my date was to go on and on about how some women he knew had this great job and he admired her career, I would DIE of anger. If he went on for 30 minutes about how delicious her breasts were, it would be like white noise to me. Makes sense. I guess it's about how attractive I feel. Or maybe he makes me feel unattractive that way.
soccerrprp Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 I must be old-fashioned or something. Friend or date or SO, i make every attempt to keep my attention to the person in front of me. It's common courtesy, respect. Of course, if I do wander, I'm going to be quick to look and bring my attention back to the subject, person whom I'm with at hand. But to do it constantly and to the point of disengaging in conversation...that would be annoying. 1
Author sayitasitis Posted January 3, 2013 Author Posted January 3, 2013 I must be old-fashioned or something. Friend or date or SO, i make every attempt to keep my attention to the person in front of me. It's common courtesy, respect. Of course, if I do wander, I'm going to be quick to look and bring my attention back to the subject, person whom I'm with at hand. But to do it constantly and to the point of disengaging in conversation...that would be annoying. He brings his attention back to me but it's quite tiresome.
DC4 Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 I must be old-fashioned or something. Friend or date or SO, i make every attempt to keep my attention to the person in front of me. It's common courtesy, respect. Of course, if I do wander, I'm going to be quick to look and bring my attention back to the subject, person whom I'm with at hand. But to do it constantly and to the point of disengaging in conversation...that would be annoying. This is pretty much the bottom line.
soccerrprp Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 He brings his attention back to me but it's quite tiresome. So he does this often during your time together? He's not interested, I'm afraid. That's what I get anyway.
Author sayitasitis Posted January 3, 2013 Author Posted January 3, 2013 So he does this often during your time together? He's not interested, I'm afraid. That's what I get anyway. Sometimes more than others. I get that too.
Author sayitasitis Posted January 3, 2013 Author Posted January 3, 2013 Alright listen im going to end the topic for you. Right now you two are just friends, you liking him makes you forget this. He may very well be into you but you're just friends, he's not going to risk keeping constant eye contact and maybe touching you here and there until either of you make a move because doing so would freak most women out. Imagine some other guy whom you aren't interested in keeping constant eye contact with you and maybe acting a little lovey dovey. Now imagine coming here to post about how your guy friend makes you feel creeped out. You're right. I wouldn't like it if some guy I'm not interested in does that to me. I actually should treat guys I like the same way guys I don't like. I would have a much easier life!
Ruby Slippers Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 80% of the guys I've dated didn't check out other women when we were together. I tried to deal with it in one relationship, but after more experience, I now know it's a complete turn-off and I wouldn't be with a guy who did it. I don't check out men when I'm with my man, and I expect the same respect from him. 3
veggirl Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 I have never caught or noticed my man checking out other women. Totally disrespectful, total dealbreaker. I agree with Ruby, completely. I'm not my man's "buddy"...I am his girlfriend, his woman, I'm not gonna play "look at that hot girl!" with him..no way. If we were just dating/getting to know one another (not exclusive) it'd be a huge red flag, one I personally wouldn't ignore or brush to the side. If he IGNORES you to gawk at other girls I wouldn't even bother with the "hey what's going on" type of thing, I'd just quit seeing him. He's not interested, if he was his focus would be on you. I don't really even NOTICE the other people walking by and such when I am with my boyfriend. 1
sweetkiwi Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 Alright listen im going to end the topic for you. Right now you two are just friends, you liking him makes you forget this. He may very well be into you but you're just friends, he's not going to risk keeping constant eye contact and maybe touching you here and there until either of you make a move because doing so would freak most women out. Imagine some other guy whom you aren't interested in keeping constant eye contact with you and maybe acting a little lovey dovey. Now imagine coming here to post about how your guy friend makes you feel creeped out. For once I see your POF greznog. This is completely natural. I look too. Its just looking. Unless of course he's not giving me what I want and then possibly I would be looking at ass for some spank bank material.
TouchedByViolet Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 During dating and the early stages of a relationship when I am into a girl I don't have the desire to check out other women at all.
O'Malley Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 Does he have a lot of women friends? Who initiates most of your meet ups? It sounds like he's behaving around you the same way he would his guy buddies....which means he likely does not view you as a romantic/sexual prospect. If he was interested in more, he'd be focusing on you, not other women. As far as his staring, a little teasing about his gawking might make him tone it down a notch. If you're interested in him, you'll have to be upfront about it.
sagetalk Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 I like this guy but his behaviour is telling me he doesn't care about me beyond a good buddy. Would this assumption be true? Terrible assumption, awful, dreadful, assumption. Why are you the only girl in the world? You are not dating him.
ChessPieceFace Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 He checks out girls on the streets all the time. I know guys have no peripheral vision but he seems to do that a lot. Wait... what? What?? (squints frantically) (squints some more) Oh my god I have tunnel vision, oh my god!! ...
Casablanca Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 80% of the guys I've dated didn't check out other women when we were together. I tried to deal with it in one relationship, but after more experience, I now know it's a complete turn-off and I wouldn't be with a guy who did it. I don't check out men when I'm with my man, and I expect the same respect from him. You mean 80% of guys you dated knew how to hid it. Every guys does it whether they admit it or not, may not be "OMG I want to bang her", but it just may be admiring beauty...we use or peripheral vision Let's step aside and do this. Imagine you're into a girl you're just hanging out with. Would you still be eyeing every other girl that walks by? Or would you try to focus on her because you're trying to get her attention? I just want to know guys' opinions on this before I find enough reasons to ask him out. I would use my peripheral vision to glance, but that would be it. I'd still take the plunge, what is the worst thing that happens? Better than never knowing IMO. Good luck to what ever you chose
Author sayitasitis Posted January 4, 2013 Author Posted January 4, 2013 If he IGNORES you to gawk at other girls I wouldn't even bother with the "hey what's going on" type of thing, I'd just quit seeing him. He's not interested, if he was his focus would be on you. He doesn't ignore me to gawk at other girls. Not much better but he just looks in between. Does he have a lot of women friends? Who initiates most of your meet ups? It sounds like he's behaving around you the same way he would his guy buddies....which means he likely does not view you as a romantic/sexual prospect. If he was interested in more, he'd be focusing on you, not other women. As far as his staring, a little teasing about his gawking might make him tone it down a notch. If you're interested in him, you'll have to be upfront about it. He has more guy friends than female but I wouldn't say it's a big difference in numbers. We take turns to initiate meet ups. Terrible assumption, awful, dreadful, assumption. Why are you the only girl in the world? You are not dating him. Of course I'm not the only girl in the world. I'm talking about the difference between someone that shows interest and someone that probably wishes he was somewhere else. A bit farfetched but you get the drift. I would use my peripheral vision to glance, but that would be it. You mean even if you were interested in the girl you're hanging out with?
Author sayitasitis Posted January 4, 2013 Author Posted January 4, 2013 It's actually funny. It appears that some of the females that posted here have no issues with the roving eyes. While it's the males that say they wouldn't gawk if they're with the girl they like. Is the statistics, based on the posts here, accurate?
naviis Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 I really, really disagree. Sounds like I am the minority here, though. Nah I agree with you. You guys aren't dating. As far as he knows he's a single guy hanging out with a friend. And most people do look. Some are better at hiding it, some don't bother to hide it, but you can't knock a guy for noticing a pretty girl. It doesn't take anything away from you. And if it really bothers you, do what I do when I feel like torturing the guy. When you catch him eyeballing someone else, comment. Like "cute blonde" or "nice tits" -- brings their attention right back to you
Author sayitasitis Posted January 4, 2013 Author Posted January 4, 2013 Nah I agree with you. You guys aren't dating. As far as he knows he's a single guy hanging out with a friend. And most people do look. Some are better at hiding it, some don't bother to hide it, but you can't knock a guy for noticing a pretty girl. It doesn't take anything away from you. And if it really bothers you, do what I do when I feel like torturing the guy. When you catch him eyeballing someone else, comment. Like "cute blonde" or "nice tits" -- brings their attention right back to you Wouldn't that be a too obvious way of telling him you're jealous? Especially when it's not a couple dating.
Casablanca Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 You mean even if you were interested in the girl you're hanging out with? Yeah, I wouldn't be thinking "OMG I want to **** her brains out" I just like to appreciate beauty. A few friends of mine were out the other night at a bar, and there was a couple sitting at the bar across from our table, I saw her and gave her a few glances because she was really attractive. That was it, I just admired it. Now I am less likely to do it on a first or second date or hanging out with someone I like as I wouldn't want to get caught, but trust me, I do notice people, even if it is just a fraction of a second. Every guy is different I know you want like 100% confirmation before you make a move, and I understand that, but if you really like the guy, you gotta take that plunge. Dating is a huge risk, and often times one and sometimes two people get hurt down the road or right away through rejection. Perhaps he thinks you're not interested so he doesn't worry about things like this and if he knows you interested, or the dynamics change to where it is more of a date, perhaps this behavior will end. It may not, but it could. You're going to be driving yourself nuts , just talk to him, tell him how you feel and see what happens.
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