YvetteMarie Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 So the boyfriend and I were talking on the phone yesterday and I had just mentioned that I did not have a good day at work when out of the blue he mentions that he had a slight panic attack last night because of his "career". Of course my first reaction was one of concern, in part because I know he has casually mentioned before in the past that he sometimes has trouble sleeping and also because I know that he is not happy with his job in retail. I really do feel bad for him... Being the nice, kind, and caring person that I am, I responded with telling him that it sounds like he had a rough night there based on that and said I was sorry to hear that. His response actually kind of hurt my feelings; he was pretty nonchalant with saying something to the effect of "Err I just had trouble sleeping. It's not that big of a deal really". Then he tried to follow that up with asking what happened at work. I admit I had a bit of an immature moment in my response because I got a little frustrated that he brought something like that up, and then just leaves me hanging and trying to act like it was nothing. So I threw his words back at him, telling him it was not a big deal either. He again tried to follow up with asking if it was just not a good day at work and I told him it wasn't the best day. I should have stopped there but instead added that I was just merely repeating what he had just said to me because I was trying to get him to open up a little more to me in regards to his "panic attack". You know, actually talk, have a conversation, etc. Well he was confused with my response and so I clarified further that I was hoping that he might want to talk about what was keeping him up. I told him that he made it sound like it was nothing but it didn't seem like that way. He did go into a little more detail and I was really hoping that we could have that deep conversation that I wish we had more of, but it just didn't go that way. This is where I am stuck at. Most of our conversations are fairly lighthearted and casual, which I DO enjoy. He can make me laugh one minute and blush the next. I love it when he talks about himself whether it is how his day went or the latest crazy funny antics with his family and occasionally he will even reveal little things that I feel touched that he would share with me. But what I really wish for is to have more deep, meaningful conversations. They are pretty rare and when they start to go in that direction, they are either incredibly short-lived, I can't tell what he is really thinking, or his answers are short like "yeah" and "maybe", etc. When he does the short answers especially, I feel pretty stupid and guilty like he is bored with me or something. I know he is capable of opening up more, he has done it before, even if it was brief. And I want to address this with him, tell him that I wish we could have more serious conversations along with all our fun and silly ones, but am not sure how to go about doing it without either A.) coming across as confrontational or B.) like a rambling emotional idiot. Anyone have any good ideas on how to approach this?
Author YvetteMarie Posted January 3, 2013 Author Posted January 3, 2013 Anyone willing to chime in? Or did I scare everyone away?
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