Heartbroken- warning, very long

[cj9791]

I have been with my SO for 8 years. We don't have children together but I have a 13 year old daughter from a previous marriage and they are very close. He has always treated me like absolute gold, would do anything for me, always affectionnet, etc. He is a great provider, he helped me buy my house and pays most of the bills. Well almost two years ago he lost his job. He had a falling out with his boss over a personal matter and the boss fired him. He found a new job within a week but I was still so pissed off at him! He is now GM at a very popular establishment in our city, and he works like 80 hours a week. He is doing very well and making great money but he's never around. After he lost his job I went into a depression and to be honest I was so cold to him, I basically totally ignored him for 8 months. It had more to do with me than him, but I never told him that. During that 8 months I think we had sex twice. Well guess what the second time I got pregnant. I never even told him, and ending up miscarrying. Honestly I am pretty sure I would not have kept the baby. Well he found out because he saw paperwork from the hospital. He is convinced that I must have cheated on him because a.) we barely ever had sex, and b.)That's why I didn't tell him. Then I find out that he has been texting back and forth with one of his female employees. He says it was just texting but I don't know. It seems like when I found out about those texts, everything suddenly changed and I realized that I loved him so much and didn't want to lose him. I have always kind of had the upper hand in our relationship, I am 14 years younger than him, although he looks 10 years younger than he is. Then all of a sudden the tables were turned. At first I went kind of psycho, callin the other girl a whore, freaking out all the time etc. Then about a month ago we sat and talked and he said he wasn't sure he could be with me anymore because of the things I have done, and because he doesn't want to live under a microscope. Instead of freaking out I left him alone for about a week. Then I just sat and told him that we needed to make arrangements if we weren't going to be together anymore. He said he did not mean what he said, we both apologized and we were going to work it out. And we were both really trying. He works so hard, but was doing his best to be home as much as he could, and always letting me know where he was. And I was giving him his space and not nagging. I am a good "wife" (even though we are not actually married) I keep a spotless house, do all his laundry, I am an awesome cook, I have a great body, and am always careful to look my best. Men are constantly hitting on me, so it's not like I am some frumpy thing. Well New Years Eve we got into an argument because I felt like he was ignoring me, it didn't escalate too bad though I kept my crazy under control lol. Then last night we talked again and I just told him I felt he was still being distant and that I loved him and wanted him to be happy, not miserable and if he didn't really want to be with me to just tell me so I can quit wasting my time trying so hard to make it work. He finally said that he loves me very much, and he's been trying but he feels differently about me now. He says it's nothing to do with me or anyone else (whatever), and he doesn't even understand why. So, I guess he broke up with me? Then he asks me to come to bed . He has no intention of leaving, he says he still wants to take care of me and my daughter, I just don't get it! What the hell does he want from me? If he doesn't want to be with me he needs to leave I guess, but I can't afford to support myself. I work and go to school full time, but I don't want my lifestyle to change, I wouldn't care if it was just me but I have my daughter to think about. Basically he wants to break up, but still live here, sleep in the same bed, etc. I don't know if I can do that I still love him so much. I know I treated him so badly, but there is nothing I can do to take that bac k. I don't know what to do. The worst part is how he said he still loved me so much. That makes it worse. Advice please?

[fixing]

Sorry to hear of your pain. Im not really sure what advice to give as im not experienced enough, but did you both ever consider Relationship counselling? Either way, 8 years is a long time, so i really hope you can both work this out.