sadbunnyy Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 Sticking to my new years resolution of not checking his facebook and not checking my email for his reply...but somehow I feel anxious?! Thoughts running through my mind...what if he apologizes?, what if he wants to make everything better, what if he has a new gf, what if his happier with someone else now....etc. I can't possibly know anything now since I blocked all forms of contact. Everyday seems to go by sooo slow. I know I need to move on from him. Maybe im scared of finally moving on and being happy?!? Idk... I'm so tempted to check my email but I know if I don't see anything from him it will just ruin my whole day and feel depressed again... I need help getting through this...I just wish it was 6 months from now or a year from now. I really thought I was all better. I guess im just a roller coaster of emotions.
Missing Him Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 The most important thing that you can do, the thing that I found helped the most, is allowing yourself to just feel what you feel. Don't fight your feelings. If you feel anxious, that's okay. It sounds like you're scared to move on because you know that once you move on, there's no chance of you guys getting back together. That's how I feel, at least. Right now it feels like my hope is the only thing that can bring us back together in the future. Ultimately that's not true though. My hope is only making it harder for me to move forward with my own life. Being scared of letting go is normal. I think what I found works best is not to FORCE anything. Don't FORCE yourself to try to feel any way, just focus on doing things one day at a time and doing what makes you feel okay in that moment. Eventually, you won't have to force yourself any more and you'll be able to feel okay naturally. 1
fixing Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 Hello. Yes, you be a strong girl and stick to the new year resolutions. I know exactly what you mean about being anxious. I don't know why you guys ended, but buy the sounds of things you need to move on. So, please for your own sanity. Dont check the emails, facebook, Nada! Be strong, and post here instead x 1
na49 Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 You and me both. I feel EXACTLY the same way as you right now. My ex is pretty much blocked everywhere. I'm dying to know what she's been up to. If she still misses me. If she thinks about me. If she's miserable because I told her to leave me alone or if she feels "goodbye and good riddance!". Is she really that happy with her life without me in it? Why does my life feel so miserable without her in it? Have I ruined any chances of us starting over by blocking her? I'll never know unless I check up on her. If I check up on her I'll feel worse. We're just in a lose, lose situation. 1
Toddbt12y1 Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 Nooo I want let you email him! Be strong now where is my rope to stop you!! You must be strong!! You are better than him, don't let em hurt you!! 1
Jasmine36 Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 Do NOT check up! I speak from experience on this I checked on his fb about 3 weeks ago we have been split up nearly 6 and yep he has a new girlfriend now! I torture myself with it and am in a very very dark place I wish I just didn't know 2
Author sadbunnyy Posted January 3, 2013 Author Posted January 3, 2013 You and me both. I feel EXACTLY the same way as you right now. My ex is pretty much blocked everywhere. I'm dying to know what she's been up to. If she still misses me. If she thinks about me. If she's miserable because I told her to leave me alone or if she feels "goodbye and good riddance!". Is she really that happy with her life without me in it? Why does my life feel so miserable without her in it? Have I ruined any chances of us starting over by blocking her? I'll never know unless I check up on her. If I check up on her I'll feel worse. We're just in a lose, lose situation. I sent him an email asking him why he never said sorry for the way he left me, how much he had hurt me, and how I didn't deserve any of it. I know I have the right to tell him exactly how I feel but in a way I wish I never sent it because deep down inside i'm still hoping for reconciliation and that email probably pushed him further away...or made him feel so guilty that he could never reply. I just feel so confused. I hate him but I love him ughhh all I can do is just stick to NC ...only time will tell...
Toddbt12y1 Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 Do NOT check up! I speak from experience on this I checked on his fb about 3 weeks ago we have been split up nearly 6 and yep he has a new girlfriend now! I torture myself with it and am in a very very dark place I wish I just didn't know Awe you poor girls...it tears me up to hear all of this! I wish I could take it all away for you ladies. 1
Author sadbunnyy Posted January 3, 2013 Author Posted January 3, 2013 Do NOT check up! I speak from experience on this I checked on his fb about 3 weeks ago we have been split up nearly 6 and yep he has a new girlfriend now! I torture myself with it and am in a very very dark place I wish I just didn't know I'm taking your advice!!!! I don't want to put myself through more pain.. 2
SharkTooth Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 All I can say is it is the feeling you feel is normal and it is one of the worst feelings in the universe! When I was younger, I'm 39 now, I went through what I thought at the time was the worst break up in history. Came home to our apartment to find a letter with the engagement ring I gave her sitting on it. Devastation began! I actually talked to her mom for 6 months every night! Funny thing, I don't remember talking to her that much. She's like my second mom. And we laugh about it all the time now. My point is, you will not think life will ever be the same right now. That your life is over and everything will be gloom and doom from now on. It sucks but I'm here to tell you that one day it will be a laugh, maybe not even a much of a thought. It does get better and you will be a better person for the experience you will live through. 1
Bluem Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 Write a list of all the things that made your relationship bad, of all the things you didn't like about this person, of all the things they are doing now that you don't like. Recount to yourself that this relationship will not work. If someone gives up on you, why on earth would you take them back even if they came back? How can you be confident it would work out and that they wouldn't just leave again? Is that a risk worth taking even? The more you force yourself to realize that it's over and does not matter, the easier it is. If you hang onto false hopes, it will just become harder for you.
FailedFirstLove Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 I'm like that too... It hurts so damn much. Every single day. I keep hoping for a chance to reconcile so the words that gave me hope I keep replaying in my head... When I don't even know if those words still stand after weeks ago. Might sound selfish but I dnt want him to move on.. If he does there's no hope anymore right. But resist the pain of checking. I checked his friends fb and saw pics of him going out and looked so happy. Hurt SOOOO bad!!!!!its either he was distracting himself or his actually happily moved on I don't know what to do either. Dying to call him but scared of what I would hear.
cavalier99 Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 I sent him an email asking him why he never said sorry for the way he left me, how much he had hurt me, and how I didn't deserve any of it. I know I have the right to tell him exactly how I feel but in a way I wish I never sent it because deep down inside i'm still hoping for reconciliation and that email probably pushed him further away...or made him feel so guilty that he could never reply. I just feel so confused. I hate him but I love him ughhh all I can do is just stick to NC ...only time will tell... Ohh sadbunny. You need to take the advise here. Emailing him is BAD BAD BAD BAD for your recovery and self esteem. You already know this. Welll...lesson learned. Just get thru a few weeks strict NC and urges will subside. How will he respond to your email anyway if he is blocked? You need to slug this one out one day at a time. Don't give into the urges and kill all hope of reconciliation. Just tell your self YES and cry about it. YES he has new girlfriend YES he loves her more than you YES They have awesome sex all the time every which way YES They will get married and have babies YES they go to all the places you went with him YES they have a special connection YES he barley thinks about you at all and is happy your gone Want to contact him now? Hang strong. Cav
Toddbt12y1 Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 I'm like that too... It hurts so damn much. Every single day. I keep hoping for a chance to reconcile so the words that gave me hope I keep replaying in my head... When I don't even know if those words still stand after weeks ago. Might sound selfish but I dnt want him to move on.. If he does there's no hope anymore right. But resist the pain of checking. I checked his friends fb and saw pics of him going out and looked so happy. Hurt SOOOO bad!!!!!its either he was distracting himself or his actually happily moved on I don't know what to do either. Dying to call him but scared of what I would hear. Err...you don't call him either missy. Don't look him up. It's only hard for a while. Start living life well, guys/girls. It is the only way...
Honiebee Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 Don't do it! It will only throw up more questions that it answers and you may end up hurting even more. It's a new year and a new start- keep it up, you're doing really well. And worrying about anything out of your control is like holding an umbrella above your head at all times, just in case it rains. xx
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