Jms3 Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 I've been in a relationship for 7 years. I cheated once 2 years ago with the only other person I'd ever been with and immediately told my BF and continued our relationship. I also cut off the OM (who is single) because I didn't want to hurt him anymore then I already had by allowing it to get to such an emotional then one time physical level. To this day I can't get the OM out of my head. We've talked here and there but it's always me initiating the texts or calls. My BF wants nothing more then for me to be with him forever but I find myself suffering from GIGS. It's unfair and I know it. I broke up with him 4 months ago but it only lasted a month. I want the phases and continuous feeling for the OM to go away but they don't. My life would be completely different and I'd lose many people I care about if i were to end up with him. However some crazy part of my brain allows me to think the reason I can't stop thinking about the OM is because we should be together or should have been together. I always look for closure from the OM and he does a great job at letting me have it and I tell him to forget about me. Then I think of him and act on my impulses and contact him. But I don't know what I'm looking for! Because of this I don't treat my BF how he should be treated and I feel like I'm sabotaging my relationship. In my head it is much more complicated and many more details but that's the long story short. Any insight would be appreciated! Thanks.
GLDheart Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 Two answers. Pick one. 1. Admit to yourself that it is ok that you are attracted to the OM (It's human). REALIZE that you have pedestaled this Other Guy and he will never truly live up to all the hype you have in your own head. Then GO 100% NO CONTACT and fix or finish your current relationship. --or-- (I predict that you do this second option) 2. Be a selfish child and continue to emotionally cheat... Give in to the self entitled feelings and sneak a few more crazy flings with this other guy... dreaming of what life should really be like. Detonating a NUCLEAR BOMB on everyone's life around you in the process. You choose. Are you a girl that needs to grow up through some hard lessons? Or can you do it without making everyone pay a crazy price?
bobsmith76 Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 I've been in a relationship for 7 years. I cheated once 2 years ago with the only other person I'd ever been with and immediately told my BF and continued our relationship. I also cut off the OM (who is single) because I didn't want to hurt him anymore then I already had by allowing it to get to such an emotional then one time physical level. To this day I can't get the OM out of my head. We've talked here and there but it's always me initiating the texts or calls. My BF wants nothing more then for me to be with him forever but I find myself suffering from GIGS. It's unfair and I know it. I broke up with him 4 months ago but it only lasted a month. I want the phases and continuous feeling for the OM to go away but they don't. My life would be completely different and I'd lose many people I care about if i were to end up with him. However some crazy part of my brain allows me to think the reason I can't stop thinking about the OM is because we should be together or should have been together. I always look for closure from the OM and he does a great job at letting me have it and I tell him to forget about me. Then I think of him and act on my impulses and contact him. But I don't know what I'm looking for! Because of this I don't treat my BF how he should be treated and I feel like I'm sabotaging my relationship. In my head it is much more complicated and many more details but that's the long story short. Any insight would be appreciated! Thanks. If you want us to help you, you're going to have to give us more information. What evidence do you have that the OM is a good man? What sort of man is your boyfriend? What do you want out of life? What are your goals? What does your family think?
Author Jms3 Posted January 6, 2013 Author Posted January 6, 2013 If you want us to help you, you're going to have to give us more information. What evidence do you have that the OM is a good man? What sort of man is your boyfriend? What do you want out of life? What are your goals? What does your family think? Please refer to my post in the OM/OW forum. I wanted to get the most advice I could and explained more of my situation. If youre willing that is. Thanks!
KungFuJoe Posted January 6, 2013 Posted January 6, 2013 Your entire post didn't contain a single mention of how you feel about your bf. I think that is very telling. 1
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