crashvector Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 a few of my friends and I have birthdays that are very close, and in fact, one of them has the exact birthday i do. They decided for the three of us to have kind of a "joint" birthday party at a venue in my hometown. so we have all been conversing on facebook. One of the friends I have had for a long time (we actually dated back in high school) hears about my situation, offers condolences. she proceeds to tell me about how her divorce is about to be final, etc etc. So we start talking about that being as I am divorced. long story short...she finally asks me "seeing as we're both on the rebound, and I've always had a crush on you, and we're both used to getting regular sex but have been cut off....how about we arrange a little FWB type relationship? Ive ALWAYS thought you were sexy..and here are a few recent pictures of me." I just sat here...kinda speechless. then started crying..AGAIN...thinking about my fiance...and how even THAT feels like cheating on her to me... and now i feel like complete sh*t even though I never brought that on or encouraged it or anything.
FailedFirstLove Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 a few of my friends and I have birthdays that are very close, and in fact, one of them has the exact birthday i do. They decided for the three of us to have kind of a "joint" birthday party at a venue in my hometown. so we have all been conversing on facebook. One of the friends I have had for a long time (we actually dated back in high school) hears about my situation, offers condolences. she proceeds to tell me about how her divorce is about to be final, etc etc. So we start talking about that being as I am divorced. long story short...she finally asks me "seeing as we're both on the rebound, and I've always had a crush on you, and we're both used to getting regular sex but have been cut off....how about we arrange a little FWB type relationship? Ive ALWAYS thought you were sexy..and here are a few recent pictures of me." I just sat here...kinda speechless. then started crying..AGAIN...thinking about my fiance...and how even THAT feels like cheating on her to me... and now i feel like complete sh*t even though I never brought that on or encouraged it or anything. Your not doing it. So don't feel ****. at least u still think of her feelings. That's very gentlemen of you. don't do it. U will regret it stay strong and keep healing
Author crashvector Posted January 3, 2013 Author Posted January 3, 2013 Oh...no way in hell im doing that. I just feel like im a cheater now
FailedFirstLove Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 Oh...no way in hell im doing that. I just feel like im a cheater now Why would u feel like a cheater? Firstly ur not with her anymore. But that's not the point lol since u haven't even flirted or anything with this friend of urs. Reject her kindly
cavalier99 Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 Maaan. I wish i got offers like that...never seem to happen to me lol I'm recovered enough at 3 months to handle FWB I just don't want to date anyone.
Author crashvector Posted January 3, 2013 Author Posted January 3, 2013 Maaan. I wish i got offers like that...never seem to happen to me lol I'm recovered enough at 3 months to handle FWB I just don't want to date anyone. Move to louisiana....id pass her along lol 1
Chi townD Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 Well, at least look at it this way. That had to have helped your Ego a little bit knowing that a girl is interested and thinks you're sexy. I think that she went about it the wrong way. Instead of just looking for sex, you two could have gone out as friends and found solace in each other. I think she would have been more valuable to you as a friend rather than a bed buddy.
triggerx51 Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 Your in a emotional wreak to turn down this offer. I am not sure about your story but I can safely assume your ex is doing the wild thing with another guy.. Your the man, step up and take this new woman out and give her the best time of her life in bed.. whats the matter with you most single men would jump at this chance in a heartbeat.
Author crashvector Posted January 3, 2013 Author Posted January 3, 2013 Well, at least look at it this way. That had to have helped your Ego a little bit knowing that a girl is interested and thinks you're sexy. I think that she went about it the wrong way. Instead of just looking for sex, you two could have gone out as friends and found solace in each other. I think she would have been more valuable to you as a friend rather than a bed buddy. Yeah...i think this would be more like it.
Author crashvector Posted January 3, 2013 Author Posted January 3, 2013 Your in a emotional wreak to turn down this offer. I am not sure about your story but I can safely assume your ex is doing the wild thing with another guy.. Your the man, step up and take this new woman out and give her the best time of her life in bed.. whats the matter with you most single men would jump at this chance in a heartbeat. Bc my ex isnt....because im not ready. Right now, her son is having surgery. Started an hour ago. Know this bc his older sister posted it on fb. Another reason....id get attatched. In my emotionally vulnerable state, you dont play with matches around gasoline.
ATR Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 Pics or it didn't happen! I've been reading your story and I'd really recommend this for you: No More Mr. Nice Guy | A Plan for Love, Sex, Dating & Career All the best,
suladas Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 You're to nice, remind me of me that near after my BU I felt the same way and turned down things. I wish I hadn't now, I would go out with women if they offer it's good for you. You are single remember that, you are free to do anything you want you don't have to have sex with them but go out and see what happens. Oh and if I had to do it again, I would not turn down sex either.
flitzanu Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 i get that it bothers you, and i'd feel the same way, but i'm going to urge you to really consider it. the MINUTE you get some physical attention from another person...it can really expand your ego and help you realize there ARE other things out there. of course i won't call you stupid for not doing it, i totally get that it's awkward and you feel bad, but you really shouldn't. you aren't doing anything wrong. 1
Author crashvector Posted January 3, 2013 Author Posted January 3, 2013 i get that it bothers you, and i'd feel the same way, but i'm going to urge you to really consider it. the MINUTE you get some physical attention from another person...it can really expand your ego and help you realize there ARE other things out there. of course i won't call you stupid for not doing it, i totally get that it's awkward and you feel bad, but you really shouldn't. you aren't doing anything wrong. Thanks for the advice everyone...i really appreciate it. I decided to go right down the middle...and we exchanged flirty-ish texts etc. Kinda felt good to laugh...but made me feel kinda guilty too.
Author crashvector Posted January 3, 2013 Author Posted January 3, 2013 Thanks for the advice everyone...i really appreciate it. I decided to go right down the middle...and we exchanged flirty-ish texts etc. Kinda felt good to laugh...but made me feel kinda guilty too. So...i decided it would be okay to talk to her on the phone. Again, shes like she always was...we were close friends in school and always could make me laugh and still can. She said "How about this. Next Friday, at the party, since you have been through hell recently...how about just a small birthday kiss? You deserve it, my friend, since neither of us got one for New Year's, and let's be honest, I deserve it too." So i said "Uh...okay...you have a deal. Since i dont want anything else for my birthday, a small birthday kiss sounds nice." So there you go...im getting a little kiss for my birthday from a girl ive been friends with for years.
Chi townD Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 Okay...well, you shouldn't feel guilty about getting affections from someone of the opposite sex especially if YOU ARE NO LONGER WITH SOMEONE!!! And it sounds like that she knows that your hurting and she's hurting too. So, she's going into it with an open mind that it's going to be nothing more than two people that are hurting providing each other with a little comfort. I still say that the two of you just go out. Have dinner and then catch a show at a comedy club. Just enjoy a night out with a pretty girl and with nothing promised and nothing more THAN a promise of a good time. 1
Author crashvector Posted January 3, 2013 Author Posted January 3, 2013 Okay...well, you shouldn't feel guilty about getting affections from someone of the opposite sex especially if YOU ARE NO LONGER WITH SOMEONE!!! And it sounds like that she knows that your hurting and she's hurting too. So, she's going into it with an open mind that it's going to be nothing more than two people that are hurting providing each other with a little comfort. I still say that the two of you just go out. Have dinner and then catch a show at a comedy club. Just enjoy a night out with a pretty girl and with nothing promised and nothing more THAN a promise of a good time. Its a party for three of us at a place in my hometown, and she will be there. Yeah, she knows how im feeling, and shes going through the same thing unfortunately.
flitzanu Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 So...i decided it would be okay to talk to her on the phone. Again, shes like she always was...we were close friends in school and always could make me laugh and still can. She said "How about this. Next Friday, at the party, since you have been through hell recently...how about just a small birthday kiss? You deserve it, my friend, since neither of us got one for New Year's, and let's be honest, I deserve it too." So i said "Uh...okay...you have a deal. Since i dont want anything else for my birthday, a small birthday kiss sounds nice." So there you go...im getting a little kiss for my birthday from a girl ive been friends with for years. she sounds sexually repressed and horny. you may kick yourself later for not jumping on this one. figuratively and literally.
Author crashvector Posted January 3, 2013 Author Posted January 3, 2013 (edited) she sounds sexually repressed and horny. you may kick yourself later for not jumping on this one. figuratively and literally. LOL! Ever since I've known this girl, I'd say she is ANYTHING but sexually repressed lol. she's been a good friend to me, and I have NO desire to screw that up by doing something stupid like sleeping with her. Hell, I have no desire to sleep with ANYONE right now. We are just two old friends who are both going through having our hearts broken at the same time, and are trying to be supportive to each other and give each other just a few minutes of respite from the hell we have been living in lately. Edited January 3, 2013 by crashvector
Author crashvector Posted January 4, 2013 Author Posted January 4, 2013 Pics or it didn't happen! I've been reading your story and I'd really recommend this for you: No More Mr. Nice Guy | A Plan for Love, Sex, Dating & Career All the best, omg..that is SO me. Well, except for the sex part. We never had an issue with that. lol
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