Caldespair Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 Brief background. 25 years together 2 teenage daughters. About 1 month ago had argument. She apologized to the people she offended (she was rude and obnoxious, she normally not like this). After she did right by me to apologize, I then return after being at office all day. She says she uncomfortable with me at our home so I leave (at hotel for about a month now). Little contact with me and she never responded to my vm or e mail saying lets work this out. So I'm thinking NC, but my daughters tell me she cries often whenever they try to talk to her about their dad. She normally outgoing, but for last month daughters tell me she very low. No affairs on either side. SO, do I try to work it out with her, put myself out their trying to patch things up, but also knowing she may just be unresponsive to me and end up hurting my feelings even more? I feel NC in this case could be the final nails in our coffin.
Gunny376 Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 I'm not tryng to come off as being biased nor prejudicial ~ but in your writings? You come across to me as being from somewhere in and around the Indian sub-containent? You say your from the Silcon Valley. The point is important in that the advice that I would give someone from say New Jersey ~ Home of "Tha Boss" and the advice I would give from someone from LA ~ Lower Alabama. There's a whole lot of cultural, societial, and religious variables to the equation that come in to play. With that said, ~ This is what I would do IF it were me. I'd go and get myself all cleaned up, haricut, eyebrows, nose hair, ear hair, shave, beard trimmed. Then I'd go and get a new set of clothes Then I'd go to Safeway a flourist, etc get some of her favorite flowers. (Side bar? Ever wonder why women like flowers so much? Its because (1) They have about 10,000 more ofactory cells in their noses than your typical men ~ that is to say they can "smell" better than men ~ (2) Women are more expressive than men ~ its goes with being feminine ~ BTW pay attention to the small details) Then I would go and arrange for the DD's to be out and about somewhere and occupied! Then I would arrive un-announced at her place, knock on the door all spiffed up un-announced with maybe a bottle of chlled wine, champagne, some chocolates etc. Then I would knock on her door and say the following! "Caldespair told me to tell you that he's too tired, too over-worked, too stressed, too much in a bad mood and just being way too much of a hard head, stubborn jack ass! :eek: So he sent me! :D Don't discuss anything! Don't negotiate! Don't be an azz! Be the guy that you were back in tha' day ~ when you and she first meet! Be the guy that was trying to gain her attention and affection! Be the guy that she feel in love with! Be "Tha guy!" :love: :love: 2
Author Caldespair Posted January 3, 2013 Author Posted January 3, 2013 I like it gunny. I'm going by the house to get a few thing, nobody will be home. I'm going to buy some flowers, card with cute pic of the two of us, and propose we meet on Friday for lunch. We have not talked in person for 3 weeks. This may be what she wants- I hope. No begging pleading from me though, I will be the nice, caring person I have always been. I think she takes my absence as I don't care. I care but I don't do the yelling thing like she can. I'll keep u posted 1
Gunny376 Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 Yelling, cussing and fussing is more often than not? One person trying to get ~ tell someone else what they need in order to feel wanted, needed, valued, desired, .................................... :love: LOVED!!!!! :love: Be "Tha Guy" that you were when your first meet, be "Tha' Guy" that you can become! Not the guy that you've become! Before the fail? Cometh pride! Do you want to be right? Or do you want to be happy? This is universal throughout the World. "Women fall in love because of the way that you make them feel about themselves when their with YOU!!!
trippi1432 Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 Aww Gunny!! You big, romantic lug!! One day I hope to be lucky enough to find a man like Ms. Gunny found.
jwi71 Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 Brief background. 25 years together 2 teenage daughters. About 1 month ago had argument. She apologized to the people she offended (she was rude and obnoxious, she normally not like this). After she did right by me to apologize, I then return after being at office all day. She says she uncomfortable with me at our home so I leave (at hotel for about a month now). Little contact with me and she never responded to my vm or e mail saying lets work this out. So I'm thinking NC, but my daughters tell me she cries often whenever they try to talk to her about their dad. She normally outgoing, but for last month daughters tell me she very low. No affairs on either side. SO, do I try to work it out with her, put myself out their trying to patch things up, but also knowing she may just be unresponsive to me and end up hurting my feelings even more? I feel NC in this case could be the final nails in our coffin. I glanced at your prior thread titles. Based solely on the sheer amount of drama - and the 7500 she dropped on a lawyer - you're just setting yourself up for failure. Hire a lawyer if you haven't, file and move on. You won't though. You'll go to her - as you say, at your peril. I fear you'll be proved right. Good luck either way - both paths are hard either R or D. But I wouldn't go.
UpwardForward Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 (edited) She said: You have taken the spirit out of me. I still don't like the fact you ordered your wife to apologize to your parents for her latest fall-out with your sister. Let her have her own battles and individuality. I would think reconciliation would go a lot better, when you see her side of things. If you're not able to spend the time together that she asks, tell her why and/or when it could happen. Make plans, etc. .. Or perhaps she's just looking to have You in the spirit, rather than divided. Edited January 3, 2013 by UpwardForward
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