kiley22 Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 (edited) I broke it off with a doctor in residency back in June of last year after dating for 4 months. Things never really progressed past a certain stage and there was no consistency in the relationship. While we texted frequently, we only saw each other about twice a month. I brought it up to him and he said he just couldn't give anymore to anyone else and that his relationships have been casual because he had to give his all into work blah blah excuse excuse. He also admitted to sleeping with someone else once while we were dating (yea, so "busy" he had time to sleep with someone else) We weren't exclusive but that's not cool with me. I went into NC immediately after things ended. He started texting me again in September and I've been polite/short in my replies..never giving away too much info. He texted me on every holiday since and will text me occasionally when something reminds him of me. Often he'll hint at how he's really busy at work. I've never initiated one text. I'm just trying to figure out what his MO is for contacting me again? He hasn't asked to meet up so what is it? Is it just breadcrumbs to feed his ego? He knows where I stand - plus I'm a total rules girl and would never cave. Just trying to understand so if anyone can enlighten me please do so, it would be greatly appreciated. Also, do I keep answering his texts? I'm not bitter and we have a lot in common but it's screwing around with my mind and I don't want to get into it unless I know he's open to something a little less casual. Thanks for any feedback. Edited January 3, 2013 by kiley22
SharkTooth Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 Sounds like he has already invested he's valuable time in you and thinks he can win you back for a causal night or lots of casual nights. You said it yourself, he's very busy at work. Why not try a text or call to see if he can get what he wants from someone he knows and is comfortable with instead of investing time and energy in to a new woman. He'll keep it up until you give in or he finds another woman to fill his needs. He's obviously a smart man and probably has amazing patience. Like all the articles and dumpee's say, until he tells you he wants to talk about getting back together, don't reply... 1
Author kiley22 Posted January 3, 2013 Author Posted January 3, 2013 (edited) Sounds like he has already invested he's valuable time in you and thinks he can win you back for a causal night or lots of casual nights. You said it yourself, he's very busy at work. Why not try a text or call to see if he can get what he wants from someone he knows and is comfortable with instead of investing time and energy in to a new woman. He'll keep it up until you give in or he finds another woman to fill his needs. He's obviously a smart man and probably has amazing patience. Like all the articles and dumpee's say, until he tells you he wants to talk about getting back together, don't reply... Thank you SharkTooth. I've been racking my brain but this makes perfect sense to me. He is a very patient guy. I've replied just to be polite but the more he's initiated, the more I've been engaging so I'm sure in his mind, he's making progress. Oh and another reason this makes perfect sense is the girl that he slept with while we were dating was an *old flame*. No more replies from me. Edited January 3, 2013 by kiley22
othersideofthepillow Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 ever hear that saying "dont make someone a priority when you are just a option"? USE IT! until he has time in his life for you just move on. chances are you will find someone who treats you right!
edgygirl Posted January 6, 2013 Posted January 6, 2013 I broke it off with a doctor in residency back in June of last year after dating for 4 months. Things never really progressed past a certain stage and there was no consistency in the relationship. While we texted frequently, we only saw each other about twice a month. I brought it up to him and he said he just couldn't give anymore to anyone else and that his relationships have been casual because he had to give his all into work blah blah excuse excuse. He also admitted to sleeping with someone else once while we were dating (yea, so "busy" he had time to sleep with someone else) We weren't exclusive but that's not cool with me. I went into NC immediately after things ended. He started texting me again in September and I've been polite/short in my replies..never giving away too much info. He texted me on every holiday since and will text me occasionally when something reminds him of me. Often he'll hint at how he's really busy at work. I've never initiated one text. I'm just trying to figure out what his MO is for contacting me again? He hasn't asked to meet up so what is it? Is it just breadcrumbs to feed his ego? He knows where I stand - plus I'm a total rules girl and would never cave. Just trying to understand so if anyone can enlighten me please do so, it would be greatly appreciated. Also, do I keep answering his texts? I'm not bitter and we have a lot in common but it's screwing around with my mind and I don't want to get into it unless I know he's open to something a little less casual. Thanks for any feedback. Ugh... were we talking with the same guy? Also doc in residency and also the same I'm so busy blahblah. Also the same breadcrumbs now. I keep thinking if it's really related to them being exhausted for a real relationship or it's just an excuse.
Author kiley22 Posted January 8, 2013 Author Posted January 8, 2013 Ugh... were we talking with the same guy? Also doc in residency and also the same I'm so busy blahblah. Also the same breadcrumbs now. I keep thinking if it's really related to them being exhausted for a real relationship or it's just an excuse. @Edgygirl, I hear you..went through the same feelings you are having and always gave him the benefit of the doubt because I sympathized with the demands of his profession. Ultimately, I'm a firm believer that no matter how busy someone is, they can make time for someone they care about. I know other doctors in residency that are in relationships and have made it work so there really isn't an excuse. I'm sticking to my guns and not replying unless its to talk about reconciliation. Don't sell yourself short.. even if there's nothing better out there.. move on.
portableversion Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 thanx for posting this. It seems my ex is doing the same to me and it just messes with my mind. i decided to send her a letter in writing to leave me alone unless shes ready to actually committ to her statements that she misses me and hopes and wishes we could get back together but aint ready to try that now, i also told her to stop dropping by here unannounced, unless i give her permission. last time she was here she chased me in my apartment to give me a hug, afterwards made me feel real bad since her boyfriend was in town. yeah its all a bunch of vague non-committal bs. but i do wonder could shyness or pride be in play where these folks are just taking it slow?
portableversion Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 @Edgygirl, I hear you..went through the same feelings you are having and always gave him the benefit of the doubt because I sympathized with the demands of his profession. Ultimately, I'm a firm believer that no matter how busy someone is, they can make time for someone they care about. I know other doctors in residency that are in relationships and have made it work so there really isn't an excuse. I'm sticking to my guns and not replying unless its to talk about reconciliation. Don't sell yourself short.. even if there's nothing better out there.. move on. i really like that..."even if there is nothing better out there move on"...yeah its better to be happy being alone than to put up with the mind games. they are just a hurtful waste of time. you know i told my ex in my letter to stop doing this unless she wants to get serious about reconcilliation
portableversion Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 its all confusing these little "small talks". i done a lot of googling to research how to get back and ex. Many of them do recommend trying to rebuild doing small talks, or to keep in touch with such things with the hopes that eventually it will lead to a hang out time, or a date. I think in my situation since shes involved with someone she finds more exciting or whatever its a good idea to go nc as amuch as possible. ive really had a difficult time dealing with this type of thing myself, hang in there and try to enjoy yourself
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