here is my story

[bullo]

sorry if this long but I would appreciate some feedback. In June, I started a FWB relationship with one of my employees. After a few weeks she moved in with me due to her family throwing her out for reasons that were not her fault. We got along well and lived together for 5 months. I lost my job in september and she states that I became a d##k shortly after that. I do have a outgoing personality where I day sarcastic things all of the time. I will admit that I did playfully make jokes about her family, pet and friends but it was never meant to offend her. She wanted me to pursue a relationship with her and dumped her ex boyfriend(second time) for me. I will admit that I am a novice when it comes to long term relationships even though I am in my twenties so I was a little hesitant. Towards the end of October, she went on a trip to va with her brother, his girlfriend and a special guest that turned out to be her ex. After she returned, all we did was fight. She said nothing happened, but I beg to differ. She came over a few more times but blew me off and was more occupied on her phone then me. I got a new job in md and at first she wanted to come but I was not ready to make that kind of commitment. She is the sheltered type that I do not think could live in a city setting without her comfort zone of friends and family. So towards the end of november she went and bought me a present, a nice coat. I was happy with the gift and started to then gain some feelings for her. However, towards the end of our time she would send vague messages like hey how are you? or she would be really sarcastic. One day I was not in the mood for one of those messages so I told her off. She asked what what the problem was, I stated her jokingly but she got pissed and then came by and dropped of her key. There was no goodbye when I moved and I also gave her back the jacket because it did not feel right keeping it. Even though I never made it official I viewed her as my girlfriend, I took her out countless times, took in her pet, paid for all her bills etc. She stated I treated her better than all of her ex boyfriends. I then moved to Maryland and the communication was minimal. Again her and I traded sarcastic remarks and it came to the point where we did not speak for three weeks. On christmas, I reached out to her and sent her a lengthy message where I got everything of my chest, I apologized and confessed I had feelings for her more than anyone before. She replied quickly stating she was not mad at me. I tried to call her that night but she stated she had bad reception. Two days later she reached out to me and started to converse. During the conversation, I found out she was back with her ex (3rd time) and I blew my lid. I also saw a picture of them with him wearing the jacket she bought me. I stated I felt used, her reasoning was I treated her so bad and we were never together. Even though, I had other lady's pursue me during our time together. I ignored them all. She stated I was a horrible person and said never to contact her again. Even though I am not emotional I was hurt with the horrible person comment. We traded insults and are not speaking. I still have feelings for her but was wondering what I should do? I know its best not to contact her for months but I really miss her and want her in my life. Again, sorry this is so long but I would appreciate any advice.

 

 

 

Thank you

[marie181835]

sorry if this long but I would appreciate some feedback. In June, I started a FWB relationship with one of my employees. After a few weeks she moved in with me due to her family throwing her out for reasons that were not her fault. We got along well and lived together for 5 months. I lost my job in september and she states that I became a d##k shortly after that. I do have a outgoing personality where I day sarcastic things all of the time. I will admit that I did playfully make jokes about her family, pet and friends but it was never meant to offend her. She wanted me to pursue a relationship with her and dumped her ex boyfriend(second time) for me. I will admit that I am a novice when it comes to long term relationships even though I am in my twenties so I was a little hesitant. Towards the end of October, she went on a trip to va with her brother, his girlfriend and a special guest that turned out to be her ex. After she returned, all we did was fight. She said nothing happened, but I beg to differ. She came over a few more times but blew me off and was more occupied on her phone then me. I got a new job in md and at first she wanted to come but I was not ready to make that kind of commitment. She is the sheltered type that I do not think could live in a city setting without her comfort zone of friends and family. So towards the end of november she went and bought me a present, a nice coat. I was happy with the gift and started to then gain some feelings for her. However, towards the end of our time she would send vague messages like hey how are you? or she would be really sarcastic. One day I was not in the mood for one of those messages so I told her off. She asked what what the problem was, I stated her jokingly but she got pissed and then came by and dropped of her key. There was no goodbye when I moved and I also gave her back the jacket because it did not feel right keeping it. Even though I never made it official I viewed her as my girlfriend, I took her out countless times, took in her pet, paid for all her bills etc. She stated I treated her better than all of her ex boyfriends. I then moved to Maryland and the communication was minimal. Again her and I traded sarcastic remarks and it came to the point where we did not speak for three weeks. On christmas, I reached out to her and sent her a lengthy message where I got everything of my chest, I apologized and confessed I had feelings for her more than anyone before. She replied quickly stating she was not mad at me. I tried to call her that night but she stated she had bad reception. Two days later she reached out to me and started to converse. During the conversation, I found out she was back with her ex (3rd time) and I blew my lid. I also saw a picture of them with him wearing the jacket she bought me. I stated I felt used, her reasoning was I treated her so bad and we were never together. Even though, I had other lady's pursue me during our time together. I ignored them all. She stated I was a horrible person and said never to contact her again. Even though I am not emotional I was hurt with the horrible person comment. We traded insults and are not speaking. I still have feelings for her but was wondering what I should do? I know its best not to contact her for months but I really miss her and want her in my life. Again, sorry this is so long but I would appreciate any advice.

 

 

 

Thank you

Honestly I think she needs to evaluate her situation and herself as in she needs to step back for a second and think about her actions and how they contribute to others feelings. Not saying she is inconsiderate but from what you have written it seems that she doesn't understand that here is someone that does care about her (you). She has some attachment issues and also commitment issues considering that she has gone back with the same ex for three times, that tells you that she isn't ready to stray off of something she is comfortable with. If she is comfortable with you, I can bet that she will come back and talk to you because you give her a sense of comfort. Since both you began this relationship as a FWB I think that that act messed up your chances to begin something to start or continue something that could have been really nice, also not saying its impossible now but it is harder. You may want her in your life but does she? And do you really? and on what terms? You need to ask yourself these and more questions because in the end it is your decision to reconnect. I hope this helped.