Casablanca Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 I meant to post this a few weeks ago when I broke up with my now ex, but I thought about every woman I was in an exclusive relationship with and if I broke up with them, every single one of them asked in some shape or form "is there someone else?". Is this something just about about every woman asks? If so why? Is there something similar for men? I've only be dumped a couple times and I really don't think I asked any similar questions, I pleaded my case and that was that.
ShannonMI Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 I meant to post this a few weeks ago when I broke up with my now ex, but I thought about every woman I was in an exclusive relationship with and if I broke up with them, every single one of them asked in some shape or form "is there someone else?". Is this something just about about every woman asks? If so why? Is there something similar for men? I've only be dumped a couple times and I really don't think I asked any similar questions, I pleaded my case and that was that. Because 9 times out of 10 there is someone else. We aren't stupid. 3
Author Casablanca Posted January 2, 2013 Author Posted January 2, 2013 Because 9 times out of 10 there is someone else. We aren't stupid. Really? I must be a rare person though as I wouldn't dream of starting a relationship before ending the current one I was in 1
SmileFace Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 No, I wouldn't ask. breaking up is enough reason for me to move. "Why" will make no difference to me. I especially wouldn't want to know if there is someone else so I wouldn't ask. 1
DC4 Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 I totally ask that now that you mention it. It's rather narcissistic if you think about it "There is no way he can just walk away from ME without a better prospect!" I'm going to go sit in the corner with my tanked self-esteem for a few minutes now. 2
NoMoreJerks Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 I meant to post this a few weeks ago when I broke up with my now ex, but I thought about every woman I was in an exclusive relationship with and if I broke up with them, every single one of them asked in some shape or form "is there someone else?". Is this something just about about every woman asks? If so why? Is there something similar for men? I've only be dumped a couple times and I really don't think I asked any similar questions, I pleaded my case and that was that. The two times that my ex broke up with me, I never asked him that question. I entertained the possibility, but just didn't think about it much (though I did think that, with all his traveling around, that was a real possibility), and never bothered to ask him.. I have too much self-respect to ask him that. I don't need to know whether or not he dumped me because he wants to put his d*ck in some other chick. 1
Andy_K Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 Because 9 times out of 10 there is someone else. We aren't stupid. Or, it's because women like to wait till they've got a better option available before they jump ship, so they assume guys do the same?
ShannonMI Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 Really? I must be a rare person though as I wouldn't dream of starting a relationship before ending the current one I was in So you are the 1 out of 10 that doesn't dump someone for that reason. Good for you. 1
ShannonMI Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 Or, it's because women like to wait till they've got a better option available before they jump ship, so they assume guys do the same? In other words, they've met someone else.
ShannonMI Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 Well because 9 out of 10 times women choose to drive the man insane to the point that he can only cheat and leave. Hahahahaha how about just leaving and not cheating? Is that an option? Or is cheating required? 1
Samilia Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 I meant to post this a few weeks ago when I broke up with my now ex, but I thought about every woman I was in an exclusive relationship with and if I broke up with them, every single one of them asked in some shape or form "is there someone else?". Is this something just about about every woman asks? If so why? Is there something similar for men? I've only be dumped a couple times and I really don't think I asked any similar questions, I pleaded my case and that was that. I don't, if it's over, ok, it's over.
ShannonMI Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 Well if women weren't so readily available, how do you expect for them to just leave? Well if you are fed up you just leave. Simple as that. Or at least it should be. 1
christine07 Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 Really? I must be a rare person though as I wouldn't dream of starting a relationship before ending the current one I was in LOL ya you are rare. I asked he said no.. but suddenly had a new gf 2 days after we broke up.. 1
Author Casablanca Posted January 3, 2013 Author Posted January 3, 2013 LOL ya you are rare. I asked he said no.. but suddenly had a new gf 2 days after we broke up.. Wow, if it was the case I'd probably be honest since the other person is going to find out. I just don't see the point of it....If person A is willing to leave person B for person C and person C knows this and it is all but official, what is to stop person A from doing it to person C with person D? Now I was almost person C once, we had been friends for about a year and we started to develop feelings for each other and I told her she needed to sort out her problems with her current BF, she did, and we dated a few weeks later, but I wasn't going to be there the day of or day after. I almost didn't as I didn't want to be the rebound, but I knew she wanted to break up with her boyfriend the last couple months, but she then found out he got put on academic probation and had to go back home an hour and a half away and didn't want to seem like a bitch for dumping him at his lowest point. (which I told her she should have dumped him as he kept it from her and he slacked instead of committing to grades)
christine07 Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 Wow, if it was the case I'd probably be honest since the other person is going to find out. I just don't see the point of it....If person A is willing to leave person B for person C and person C knows this and it is all but official, what is to stop person A from doing it to person C with person D? Now I was almost person C once, we had been friends for about a year and we started to develop feelings for each other and I told her she needed to sort out her problems with her current BF, she did, and we dated a few weeks later, but I wasn't going to be there the day of or day after. I almost didn't as I didn't want to be the rebound, but I knew she wanted to break up with her boyfriend the last couple months, but she then found out he got put on academic probation and had to go back home an hour and a half away and didn't want to seem like a bitch for dumping him at his lowest point. (which I told her she should have dumped him as he kept it from her and he slacked instead of committing to grades) Its not, person A will prob do it to person C with person D. That is who they are, they are so uncomfortable with being alone they find a new relationship while still in the old one. Person A: These people are cowards.
Author Casablanca Posted January 3, 2013 Author Posted January 3, 2013 Its not, person A will prob do it to person C with person D. That is who they are, they are so uncomfortable with being alone they find a new relationship while still in the old one. Person A: These people are cowards. It isn't so much finding soon after that bothers me, it is more that they set up something before they even finish with the other person, to me that is borderline cheating, even if there is nothing physical, it is emotional cheating
christine07 Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 Yup it is. At least that how I felt/feel about my ex
Phoe Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 The times I've been dumped, I never asked if there was someone else. All I know when I get dumped is that the person does not need to be with me anymore. The reasons "why" will only cause me more pain. 1
Mrlonelyone Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 I agree with Shannon on this one. Unless you are married or engaged meeting someone new and who is a better prospect is reasonable. It hurts in the short term to be left. In the long term it's for the better. Don't treat being a BF GF like being married. They aren't the same at all. If you want that security and committment of the covenant of marriage go see a justice of the peace.
Author Casablanca Posted January 3, 2013 Author Posted January 3, 2013 I agree with Shannon on this one. Unless you are married or engaged meeting someone new and who is a better prospect is reasonable. It hurts in the short term to be left. In the long term it's for the better. Don't treat being a BF GF like being married. They aren't the same at all. If you want that security and committment of the covenant of marriage go see a justice of the peace. Sure a GFBF relationship isn't marriage, BUT if you are exclusive, that means you're not going to date anyone else, well it should mean that. If someone is unhappy and feels like they should be looking for an upgrade in their lover, then just leave the current lover before upgrading.
Mrlonelyone Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 Sure a GFBF relationship isn't marriage, BUT if you are exclusive, that means you're not going to date anyone else, well it should mean that. If someone is unhappy and feels like they should be looking for an upgrade in their lover, then just leave the current lover before upgrading. Hence you break up with the BF or GF then date the other person. That is if and only if exclusiviity was explicitly discussed. Otherwise it isn't owed at all.
Author Casablanca Posted January 3, 2013 Author Posted January 3, 2013 Hence you break up with the BF or GF then date the other person. That is if and only if exclusiviity was explicitly discussed. Otherwise it isn't owed at all. Break up with them and THEN find the other person...don't find the other person first (if exclusivity has been discussed and agreed upon) 3
edgygirl Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 I don't as I never experienced this problem. No one has ever left me for someone else and I never left anyone for someone else.
Mrlonelyone Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 Break up with them and THEN find the other person...don't find the other person first (if exclusivity has been discussed and agreed upon) One does not always find people only when they are looking. Sometimes you just run into someone. One does not owe fidelity to someone they have been on a few good dates with.
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