Rejection through Twitter

[jamesmurdo]

Hi, I've known this girl for many years now, we've always been friends as we both come from the same small country town and pretty much everyone knows each other. I first started having feelings for her when we were almost done middle school and about to go off to high school. As we didn't attend the same school I only saw her maybe half a dozen times in the following years.

 

Cut to summer of 2011, the summer we graduated, I'd since got my heart broken by some sophomore who only used me to gain access to the prom and had spent about a week coping with how harsh I had been treated. It was at a graduation party for one of our mutual friends where we reunited. She made my heart beat just like she did when we were younger, that evening however she was being needy and craved my attention, which is highly unusual for her personality. At one point she brought me inside the house we sat down and she dunkenly started to pour out each and every one of her deepest issues to me and whenever her friends would pop by and ask her why she was crying and asked her to talk to them she wouldn't say anything until they left.

 

Overall that evening helped me realized what an amazing girl she was and that now that high school was over I'd probably see her around a lot more. For the following year, I did end up seeing her regularly as we were both part of the same group of friends and having access to cars made it all the much easier. I then left for college and came down every other weekend whilst she went back to school to catch up on some sciences.

 

On New Year's Eve 2011, we were at the same party and once again she was paying a lot more attention to me then I'm used to. Going as far as rivaling with some other girl for my attention. I then noticed at every other event that year she would usually pay more attention to me and stay close to me whenever she had an ex boyfriend in the room or just one she was trying to get revenge on.

 

For all of 2012 we became a lot closer but with her job and my studies we didn't see much of each other. We'd still chat through facebook regularly and when she got a cell phone I tried to get into text messaging, which is really not my strength, to keep in contact.

 

In the summer I made her an important member of my softball team always saving a position for her and bargaining with the tournament runners so we could have our games whenever she wasn't working. That's also when I got the balls to ask her to come for drives, out for a beer, to play billiards, etc. bt ourselves.

 

From that point on we went out a couple of times, I was always too scared to ever try to pull any kind of moves on her so we left it at that. During christmas break, I saw her at the bar on the 25th, we then shared a ride home with a sober friend and he then asked her if she wanted to go to some other bar about an hour away the following day. She agreed.

 

On the night of the 26th that same friend called me up and asked me to go to that bar stating he called her confirming she was going and she asked him to have me go with them, we had a nice evening until, on the drive back, she asked to get a picture with me. I put my arm around her over her shoulder and before I even realized it, my left hand was sitting on her breast. I promptly removed it and drunkenly apologized stating it was an accident. She believed me and said it wasn't a big deal, but being drunk and irrational I sent her a message going along the lines of

 

'I didn't mean to do it, not that I wouldn't just not like that, not without your consent. I didn't know it would be there although it's where it's supposed to be... you know?'

 

She then replied to get over it and to stop overthinking it, that it wasn't a big deal. I since then sobered up and drove her home from the bar, 2 nights later, she seemed very distant during the 15 minute drive, everytime i tried to make conversation she'd flatline it. As she was walking out of the car however I told her it was the last time I mentioned it but I wasn't sorry about the other night, just sorry about messing it up. She asked what I meant, I then explained I was talking about the way I overthought something trivial which is what I always do. She then proceeded to smile and say well it's over now let's never mention it again. I agreed and then she smiled as she thought of something to say and said Well thanks for the drive, it's appreciated... Kinda makes up for the boob grab. She said teasingly in a way that reassured me things were gonna be okay.

 

Come New Year's Eve she was supposed to go out to some camp deep in the woods with a friend's family whilst I was going to one of the several parties in the area. She texted me at around 7 saying her plans fell through and that tonight sucked. I asked her if she cared to come with me to one of the parties, she declined stating she wasn't really friends with anyone there. I said okay, well I've got a couple hours to kill before going, you wanna come out for a bit? She declined stating she'd rather just stay home for the evening.

 

10:30 I'm at the party with a bunch of friends having a good time when she texts 'Come to the pub k? Thanks' at this point I tell a friend what's going on and that I've gotta go. I drive down to pick her and another couple we're friends with up and head down to the bar. Upon arriving, we get in but the other girl being underaged are quickly turned around and I end up dropping them both off at her house with my girl wanting to go home. On the drive down she asks me if Stacy, one of my friends was at the party. I state that she was, then she suggests I try my chances with her. That probably should've been a major red light but I explained to her the fact that I've known Stacy a while and there's never gonna be anything between us because it would be awkward and ruin the friendship... It has happened before. So I dropped her off and made my way back to the party.

 

At around twelve I sent her a message wishing her a happy new year and at 12:30 I was browsing through my phone when I saw a tweet by her dated about 10 minutes after I dropped her off saying

 

-Holy S*** how stupid can you be! I'm not interested.

 

Now what I'm wondering here is how did it possibly come to this? I never really insisted on the fact that I was in love with her, I can only imagine that she had an idea. I haven't spoken with her since and am probably not going to for a while and I know I need to forget about her because I probably will never be able to have her be a part of my life and move on at the same time, but she didn't seem particularly annoyed by me that night and I don't see how me rejecting her proposal of trying to date one of my friends could infuriate her so.