I did something really stupid

[th90]

I agree happiness doesn't come easy. Lol. As far as dating i never have any expectations about hooking up immediately and do like to enjoy the process. But is does need to progress!

 

I like a woman to be strong enough to deal with her feelings and confident enough to follow thru if there is attraction so things can progress normally. I like confident woman in general and that includes being sexually confident if there is a big spark.

 

I guess if i went out on a date and the woman said she liked me but is all about just friendship for now. I would just shrug it off and move on. No harm. But i wouldn't hang around to deal with emotional baggage.

 

She could call me when she feels better lol

 

Ok haha but i'll only make place for the man if he's patient enough. It's also very respectful and shows how sincere he is

 

Sadly, they are all either taken or gay(no offense).

 

Well maybe i'm thinking it this way now bcs my heart is all walled up.

[Treasa]

I can move on once I no longer have my ex on a pedestal. My ex from a few years ago....Wow, I grieved over him SO hard. Right up until a moment when he wrote something in an email (I was trying to get him back rather desperately) that just really pissed me off. I was over him at that moment and ready to date again.

 

I just realized he wasn't all that I had been making him out to be.

 

I realized I was number one, and he didn't even register on the list.

[cavalier99]

Quick recap - my 18 month relationship ended in Sept - although he kept me on the hook till end of Nov by telling me he still had feelings for me - I've been NC for about 5 weeks - except for a happy xmas message from my ex which did not help!

 

Anyway, I was feeling better about things, had stopped thinking about him too much and was trying to move on. So, I went on a date - thought I was ready and although I had a nice time and the guy was really nice, when I got home I couldn't stop crying. All I did was compare this guy to my ex which is stupid and unfair - I thought it might help me move on but all it seems to have done is set me back.

 

I'm terrified that this will always happen - will I always compare the next guy I date to my ex? Or am I just dating too soon?

 

I don't want to hurt anyone so I won't be dating for awhile now - I just want to know that I'll be able to move on at some point without my ex in my head.

 

Does anyone have any advice or experience which might help?

 

Sorry this is tough. Sometime dating can bring back those intense feelings and make you realize how hard it was to meet that special person.

 

I have gone home from a date after a prior BU and cried my eyes out. It was too soon

 

Just take it slow. Do some casual dating every so often and assess how you feel.

 

Right now for me i cant handle dating. I can handle a random hookup.

 

I met a girl a few weeks ago at a bar. We even kissed ...her initiative. I tentative set something up with her a few day later. Very nice complimentary things were said.

 

Then i bailed. Didn't followup. And felt bad.

 

But I couldn't imagine having to deal with sitting across form somebody at restaurant right now. Too painful.

 

She seemed to be excited about the potential date and it made me feel super guilty. Because i know i cant give anything right now romantically.

 

Definitely not ready to date yet.

[becks77]

Sorry this is tough. Sometime dating can bring back those intense feelings and make you realize how hard it was to meet that special person.

 

I have gone home from a date after a prior BU and cried my eyes out. It was too soon

 

Just take it slow. Do some casual dating every so often and assess how you feel.

 

Right now for me i cant handle dating. I can handle a random hookup.

 

I met a girl a few weeks ago at a bar. We even kissed ...her initiative. I tentative set something up with her a few day later. Very nice complimentary things were said.

 

Then i bailed. Didn't followup. And felt bad.

 

But I couldn't imagine having to deal with sitting across form somebody at restaurant right now. Too painful.

 

She seemed to be excited about the potential date and it made me feel super guilty. Because i know i cant give anything right now romantically.

 

Definitely not ready to date yet.

 

Thanks - I think I'm trying to force myself to move on when i'm not ready - it's only been 6 weeks since I last saw him - It is so hard when you just want to get that person out of your mind - but then replacing them with someone else is definitely not easy! I hope you meet someone lovely soon and that when you do you're ready for it

 

I know I'm not ready and won't be for awhile

[cavalier99]

Ok haha but i'll only make place for the man if he's patient enough. It's also very respectful and shows how sincere he is

 

Sadly, they are all either taken or gay(no offense).

 

Well maybe i'm thinking it this way now bcs my heart is all walled up.

 

Ok TH90

 

I'm pretty sure it isn't going to work out between us and I'm sure you feel the same! Lol

 

I move to fast for you and you require more than i can give right now.

 

Friends?

[Gingerxr2]

I can move on once I no longer have my ex on a pedestal. My ex from a few years ago....Wow, I grieved over him SO hard. Right up until a moment when he wrote something in an email (I was trying to get him back rather desperately) that just really pissed me off. I was over him at that moment and ready to date again.

 

I just realized he wasn't all that I had been making him out to be.

 

I realized I was number one, and he didn't even register on the list.

 

Was it some magic spell that made that happen ? If so can you forward it to me x

[th90]

Ok TH90

 

I'm pretty sure it isn't going to work out between us and I'm sure you feel the same! Lol

 

I move to fast for you and you require more than i can give right now.

 

Friends?

 

Totally. Let's hope everyone gets through this as fast as possible

[Simon Phoenix]

Dating to be friends is a ridiculous concept. That's all i have to add. Carry on.