Shosh Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 I met a guy on an OLD a month ago. We are both in our 30s. He asked me out and we went on a date. Since then we have been on a few dates. He is cute, funny and sweet and I really like him, however I don't think he is interested in more than friendship. These are my reasons: he has not made any move, not even tried to hold my hand or kiss mein between dates he does not contact me at all other than to confirm the details of our next datewhen we go out he only pays for his own food/drinks etc I know he is not gay because he told me about his ex-girlfriends and also told me about some drunk one-night stands he had one time when we talked about past experiences we are embarrassed about. The thing is, I really like him and we always do fun things together, which I don't want to stop. But I am also romantically interested in him. I don't know how to proceed. Should I continue dating other guys and hope to meet someone that I have a spark with and just stay friends with him? Or should I stop seeing him since I feel more than friendship for him? Any ideas?
zebracolors Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 We tell guys who worry about being FZ, here all the time. Bust a move, touch him in romantic ways, or if the opportunity presents itself, give him a nice little kiss. His reaction may tell you all you need to know about how he really feels about you. You'll have chances too because he must have some interest if you two have been on a few dates now. 2
Author Shosh Posted January 2, 2013 Author Posted January 2, 2013 1. Have you? 2. Do you? 3. Did you meet him through OLD or are you from an escort agency? Alternatively, did you come here using a time machine? Wow. Are you serious? Ok, to answer your questions. 1. I have touched his arm on occasion and took his hand when he told me about his broken finger. 2. I do. He replies but then does not initiate contact himself. 3. Not sure I understand your question but yes, Okcupid to be exact.
Eternal Sunshine Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 Flirt with him and see how he responds. This happened to me with a guy earlier this year. He finally told me that he is asexual and looking for an asexual romantic relationship where we just cuddled. I moved on.
zebracolors Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 The more I read of this, the more I am starting to wonder if he's just not that into you. If it was just sex he was after, I'd think he would have made that intention clear by now, either with a kiss or touching you in flirty ways. And you been on a few dates with him by now, but you're doing all the contact initiating between dates, which might mean you are just being kept around an alternative to something. Which means he could just be stringing you along? At any rate, if it were me, after 4 dates Id start to question the ambiguous behavior.
kaylan Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 come on dude/dudette... as tightfisted as you might be about the fact that guys should pay, it hasn't changed, nor should it. I feel embarrassed for men who have the opinion that girls should pay for ANYTHING on a date... it's a standard molded by society and all men should honor it. If a girl absolutely insists on paying for something, then let her, don't let it get to a stage where you're physically jostling cash with each other lol.. but make it known that you would strongly prefer if she allowed you to pay... Its 2012, women arent children, plenty have their own money and pay their own way, so get with the times.
Divasu Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 I'm afraid, you'll just have to seduce him. Kidding (or, am I...). muahahaha Here, I found this article for you, it may help: How to Hint for a Kiss from a Guy: 8 steps - wikiHow
carhill Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 I'll pay for the date if im picking her up at her paternal home where she's eagerly awaiting me in proper 50's attire.If I was doing that, she'd never get friendzoned Torpedo bras FTW Should I continue dating other guys and hope to meet someone that I have a spark with and just stay friends with him? Yes Should I stop seeing him since I feel more than friendship for him? Yes
Author Shosh Posted January 2, 2013 Author Posted January 2, 2013 Thank you all for your replies. I want to clarify something since there seems to be some controversy about it in the thread, I don't expect him to pay but whenever I go out on a date with someone the guy usually offers to pay for my drink and when I say "let me pay" he insists. So I let him and pay the next round or for coffee or something. So I am definitely not taking advantage of guys financially. Just to make that clear. But with the guy I am talking about it is not even like that. The first time we went out to dinner the check came and before I could say anything he asked: "Do you mind if we split the bill?" So of course I said no. And since then whenever we do something he usually pays for his drink and I pay for mine. I don't mind splitting the bill, I just heard numerous times that a guy will offer - if not insist on - paying when he likes you and wants to make it clear that you are on a date. Since he does not do that I figure he does not consider our meetings dates. Also, while I am the one who initiates contact between meetings, he is always the one who asks me out. It usually goes something like this: We are out doing whatever and an hour or so into the 'date' we will talk about something we both like and he will say "We should do that next weekend. Are you free on Saturday?" Then we will set a general time like "Friday evening" or "Sunday afternoon" and continue our date. He will bring me home and at the end say "See you next xyx". Often there are up to 5 days between dates, so in the beginning I texted him after two or three asking him how he is and if we are still on for xyz. He usually replied straight away and said "Of course". Then on the day of our date he will text me an hour or two before the meeting saying when he comes to pick me up. Repeat and Rewind. I have now stopped asking him if we are still on for our next date, but still send him a text after a few days just to say hi and because I want to hear from him. So I do think he likes to spend time with me, but I guess "he is just not that into me". Which is a shame since I really liked him. But I guess I will take carhill's and Eternal Sunshine's advice and stop seeing him. I'd like to keep him as a friend, but as long as I hope for more that is probably not a good idea.
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