Not Doing Well

[justinje]

So my background story is this, I met this girl online about 7 months ago. We ended u dating 6 months, she was great. She's trustworthy, smart, ambitious, supportive, funny. Everything I'm looking for and more. After 5 months of dating I have this big exam for work (yep an exam for work there is such a thing) that I had been studying for for 3 months. That last month I put so much time and energy into studying for that exam and I was so stressed that it put strain on our relationship. At first she was very supportive and loving and caring. Then she started getting mad at me for pointless stuff, I mean crazy stuff. Then eventually it came out that she felt unloved, felt like she wasn't a priority.

 

This led to more fighting which eventually led to a breakup (she said that she couldn't do it anymore). Well I didn't pursue her hard, I told her I didn't want to break up and tried to convince her but I didn't cry, I didn't beg. I've contacted her about once ever week since about random stuff. Picking up clothes from her place and what not. This has turned lately into texts telling her I miss her and sorry for what happened while we were together.

 

She always responds to the texts, sometimes curtley but she responded. She's said that she's scared we'll just be back to fighting within a month, she's also said how does she know anything has changed, and then finally here recently she told me she moved on and that I should do the same.

 

I've decided to make one last ditch effort, I texted her today asking if I can come over to her place for just 5 or 10 min (haven't seen her in three weeks since break up) to say a few things, then I told her I'd be out of her hair. I plan to tell her how I realize how she was right, how she was right to feel like a non-priority and that I realize where my mistakes were and am ready to correct them. That she'll never be a non-priority again.

 

I know everyone on here says "No Contact" but it's been sparse contact and I haven't really broken down to her and begged or anything like that (I did just drunk text her on new years............not the best call). At the end of the talk, I figure if she won't budge then I leave, probably heart broken, and delete her number. Try to move on. I know this is a long shot, I know its probably not going to work but I'm not ready to let her slip away which I feel like that's happening or happened.

 

She told me I couldn't come over tonight but that she'd text me when she got back from a camping trip she's gong on with some friends for a few days. My other alternative is that when she comes back and texts me, if she texts me, that I tell her "Nm, I know you've made up your mind. I still love you and want to fight for this but I don't think you want to anymore. You win." Then delete her number and do my best to forget about her.

 

I keep thinking about all the stuff that happened in the last month. How stupid I was, how there were a thousands times I could have made a change that would have probably kept her around. How even when we were breaking up she cried when I left...........I don't know if she still has any feelings for me, but believe it or not, if we don't work out it'd be nice to know that the relationship meant something to her and that she does still hold some feelings.

 

Please give some advice/suggestions/opinions on the above. I know this has a .01% chance of succeeding. But it's still a chance.

[Game]

Yes, this is the typical break up story. I'm pretty sure 99% of people on here have been through something exactly like this.

 

Since you guys have only been broken up for 3 weeks, I can tell you that no matter what you do, NOTHING is going to change her mind. She already made up her mind weeks before the breakup if not months. She's thought about breaking up with you for a long time.

 

Best thing to do is stay clear for a while. The feeling that you are feeling is the exact opposite of what she is feeling. Basically, when you start feeling ok about this whole thing is most likely when she will stop hating/being mad at you.

 

Imagine that your best friend wronged you by banging your girlfriend. Yet he contacted you every day to tell you how sorry he was and that he stopped banging her and he would never do it again. Are you going to forgive him in a day? In a week? In 3 weeks? Probably not, no matter what he did, even if he showered you with gifts..in fact you probably won't forgive him and even give him the chance to be your friend again until you basically stop caring about this girl. It's kind of the same emotional dynamics for a breakup.

 

Basically if you're feeling this strongly about getting her back, she is feeling the exact same type of emotions on the opposite side of the spectrum. Until you guys can meet in the middle of this spectrum, there is no chance for reconciliation.