Don't Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 Me and my ex have broken up like 2 weeks a go and no contact initiated 2 days after the break up she mentioned that she will try stop talking to me on the facebook so it won't worsen the pain. I understood. The reason she broke up with me was her money problems, trying to figure out her life since she graduated almost 8 months ago no jobs yet she needs money and pay her school loans etc. There is no cheating, abuse or any serious fights. She lost the feeling for quite time a go and even though she tried it the feelings didnt come back. She seems happy with her friends though. There is no one in her life I am 100 percent positive. I saw her pictures on fbook. I am happy for her but at the same time i miss her. Yesterday night I just sent her a text saying happy new year that's all and no answer well i understand and honestly i wasn't expecting any replies from her neither. Our relationship was two and a half years old. I was her first and i was extremely nice to her. She obviously liked that. Well there were times I want extremely nice but in general i was treating her well and caring. When she broke up she told me it was extremely hard decision for her she cried and told me that she cares about me a lot and didn't ever want to hurt me. Anyway I am getting to the point. I still have her stuff and she still has some of my stuff that we need to exchange at some point. I am thinking maybe after 3 months of no or low contact. I want to offer her a fresh start but not a relationship because our relationship was too fast. She also mentioned about it after we broke up. I will tell her that i wanna hang out but not friends obviously I will be clear with that. I will basically tell her that let's start over things from level 1 no kissing no sex no i like you etc... just start things over again. I want to do this maybe in 2 or 3 moths when she contacts me. I know some people will say yes or no. I am aware the fact that each person is different. However I still have a dilemma if i should tell her this or just not to mention. I dont want her to think that I am upset at her or I moved on completely. In the meanwhile I don't want her to think that i am desperate. I myself don't think will be able to jump back into relationship. Instead i want to take things slowly and analyze it. I know someone will tell me "dude it didnt work out in the beginning and that's why you guys are not together why do you try it again even?". For my situation i think second chance is not a bad idea since we had good intentions and the break up was calm. Has anyone experienced something like that before? Any input? Thank you
Author Don't Posted January 2, 2013 Author Posted January 2, 2013 I stopped reading at this, it pisses me off! Gullible and delusional guys saying things like... "I know 100% she didn't cheat" "I know 100% she isn't lying" "I know 100% she loves me" "I know 100% she isn't seeing anybody else" ..ETC ETC HOW? Tell me something... how do you know she's not twisted up in an exotic sex position right now with some other guy? Seriously, females like to F.U.C.K!... and if she's not ****ing you then she's ****ing somebody else! I'm sorry I went off topic and ignorantly refused to read your entire thread, and being an A-hole in general... but seriously man, it has to be said. I know because I was with her almost 24/7 and spending almost 3 years with a person is enough time to build trust on. Please bear with me. I am 100 percent sure that the reason for breaking up is not because of someone else. She told me almost a year a go we were hanging out so much she couln't spend much time with her best friends. I told her i am not leashing her she is free to do whatever she wants well that was in the past anyway and that's what she said in the summer when i told her i dont get enough attention you dont miss me maybe we should break up. She told me "well lately it's been hard for me to imagine myself being with you since we've been apart since like april now...i guess i felt like i am used to being away from you so i don't want to make it hard for myself by wishing we were together like we used to be. it's like we are going backwards. i'm not a really emotional person as you may have noticed.. it's also a hard time since school is so hard for you and it's been a lot about you these days. i think we should try still...? but if you don't think so i can accept that eventually its hard to enjoy the relationship when the other person is always talking about their problems...there needs to be some happy conversations I think i have frozen you out so much i couldn't even tell you if i have feelings. I think i would have to see you in person. i'm not a big fan of amll small talk it's always what did you do, what did you eat, when are you going to bed the same every time" this happened in the summer and fall was good again and things have changed after mid november. She went home and our conversations were short and she was ignoring me kind of. That was the time she made the decision when she came back she broke it to me. I was expecting it anyway from out latest conversations.
Author Don't Posted January 2, 2013 Author Posted January 2, 2013 Yeah, she sounds legitimate and relationship just didn't work out, I can believe that. But don't fool yourself in thinking that there's nobody else in her life, like I said (and you should remember this, and live by it)... if she's not ****ing you then she's ****ing somebody else. And the reason it's a bad idea to deny and shy away from harsh realities like this is because they actually help you move on, it's a hope killer... and hope hurts much more than wondering whether or not she's being thrown around her room by a new guy... and denying that she's being thrown around her room by a new guy based on you thinking "she wouldn't do that" is embarrassing to yourself, it makes you look weak and gullible. Always presume the worst then you're immune to a surprise kick in the balls... it should be obvious anyway... she's female, female's do these things. Thank you for the advice. I mentioned that the reason of the break up was not someone else. Now of course she is single she will do whatever she wants. I would actually want her to be someone else and experience because like i said i was her first and she was criticizing me about small things sometime according to what? Obviously there is no reference ex bf she could compare with. So she was prolly comparing me to the movie princes or something anyway. I haven't got my answer yet. Please answer the part about starting over again. Obviously it may be after a while maybe after she dated someone else. There are a lot of possibilities.
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