SayonaraItsuka Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 Clearly I'm interested in her, but for now, I just want to hang out with her. How do I ask her to just hang out without feeling like I'm making a move on her?
CarrieT Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 You don't. She has a boyfriend and anything else will appear to be being hit on. 2
Teknoe Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 Clearly I'm interested in her, but for now, I just want to hang out with her. How do I ask her to just hang out without feeling like I'm making a move on her? This likely isn't to end up well. best bet is to connect on some common ground i.e. interest, job, etc. but again... you probably know this isn't going to end well... so I wouldn't bother. plenty of other fish in the sea
Author SayonaraItsuka Posted January 2, 2013 Author Posted January 2, 2013 Forget to mention that she has been my friend for a few years, but not a particularly close friend. We just chat from time to time.
Author SayonaraItsuka Posted January 2, 2013 Author Posted January 2, 2013 I'd rather not. I know how that feels. A guy stealing my girlfriend from me.
Carenth Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 I'd rather not. I know how that feels. A guy stealing my girlfriend from me. Yet you are asking for advice on how to play the cloak and dagger game.
Author SayonaraItsuka Posted January 2, 2013 Author Posted January 2, 2013 I mean I respect her relationship. I just want to be able to talk to her since we have a lot in common.
Carenth Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 (edited) I mean I respect her relationship. I just want to be able to talk to her since we have a lot in common. If you respected her relationship you would respect shes in a relationship and leave it at that. You have stated you are interested in her and are looking for a way in. Which you can do if you wish, however I don't think it will end very well. If you were close friends before the relationship yeah ok that's different but your not and you see her in more than a platonic light, I wouldn't be doing that if I respected her relationship. Pretty much if you ask her to hangout she will most likely think you are coming on to her if all you have had is the occasional chat. As Teknoe said plenty of other fish in the sea, find one that isn't already caught. Edited January 2, 2013 by Carenth
somedude81 Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 I mean I respect her relationship. I just want to be able to talk to her since we have a lot in common. Liar. What do you really want?
newmoon Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 leave her alone. i'm in a sitution like this and it becomes messy really fast. the bf feels disrepected, the girl feels too 'nice' to let the friend down and not see him/talk to him but it angers the bf, and the friend (you) gets sloppy seconds when she is hurt/upset over the bf and needs someone to talk to, which she will at times. don't look for trouble. she's not free to be yours, or your friend, especially if you like her, huge NO
orionboxing Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 I'm going to spin this a different way from everyone else here. Walking away would denying your true feelings. There are ways you can still be involved in this girl's life right now, just not to the extent that her current boyfriend is. Be respectable, be friendly, but DO NOT hit on her. Make really good flirty eye contact with her, but nothing beyond that. Girls are really good at picking up the vibe you put out. You also need to paint yourself in the best possible light to make her realize that you are a catch. Then, it's up to her - NOT YOU. But BEFORE you do this, ask yourself if the girl is worth it. Is she your ideal? Do she have a lot of attractive qualities that would make for a good partner in the future? Be honest with yourself on these things. Be patient. If it's meant to happen - it WILL happen. I'm in similar situation right now. The girl of my dreams is dating someone else and I'm playing it exactly how I stated it above.
Author SayonaraItsuka Posted January 3, 2013 Author Posted January 3, 2013 I do believe that she is worth it, definitely my ideal, and she would be a good partner in the future. I do see your point, orionboxing, but I see the others' points as well.
Casablanca Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 Invite her to group things, invite her and her bf, those would be my suggestions
truth_seeker Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 This is tough as if there's a strong attraction, a mutual interest, I mean, if it's there, then it's there! I'm not condoning anyone to cheat or try to steal someone else's SO. My only recommendation would be to check in every so often on the person, stay on their radar, and if or when their relationship runs it course, be around and if it's meant to be, they will reach out to you. 1
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