Author promises Posted January 2, 2013 Author Posted January 2, 2013 But then, so are you, yes? You both want to fix and save a man from some reality of his life's choices. I hope in therapy, if she is as good as other's claim, you learn WHY you were attracted to that. Often, when you are empowered by saving someone else it is a diversion of doing the hard work of introspecting and saving yourself. I know that I am. It's a childhood thing.
Tenacity Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 Tenacity - pot calling kettle black. You just posted some equally "boxed in" defined by YOU opinions about my situation. And easy answers about how I should handle my WW. You didn't understand my post then. No one - least of all me - ever said it was "easy". It's anything but. You don't have to like - or even read - my opinion to your situation. This isn't your thread, so if you have issues with my posts to you please express those issues on your own thread and not on others' threads.
Author promises Posted January 2, 2013 Author Posted January 2, 2013 Apparently he's moved back home. Well, my gut just fell out. I guess I know how I really feel now.
2sunny Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 Apparently he's moved back home. Well, my gut just fell out. I guess I know how I really feel now. You're handing him all your power - why?
Author promises Posted January 3, 2013 Author Posted January 3, 2013 You're handing him all your power - why? I guess it's hard to believe that someone could be such a F?! #ing Dbag.
2sunny Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 I guess it's hard to believe that someone could be such a F?! #ing Dbag. Yep, some folks are. Best not to waste one more second thinking about them. The ones like this in my past - I don't bother with - they just search for others to use and abuse - don't let that be you.
whichwayisup Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 I guess it's hard to believe that someone could be such a F?! #ing Dbag. Just be glad he isn't your dbag and he's out of your life. Time to dump that other email address. Don't look back..He's back home and where he wants to be so I really hope you're able to now grieve the loss, heal and move on. 1
Author promises Posted January 3, 2013 Author Posted January 3, 2013 Just be glad he isn't your dbag and he's out of your life. Time to dump that other email address. Don't look back..He's back home and where he wants to be so I really hope you're able to now grieve the loss, heal and move on. Yes. To all of it. 2
veryhappy Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 (edited) promises, you need true NC to be able to detach. I don't know how you can achieve that - I only had to allude to telling his W. You are well beyond that point, so whatever works. You will stay in this high state of mental insanity if he can poke you. ExMM is the same case of lost boy. Soon after I disappeared he got in some trouble with the law, probably a speeding ticket. Didn't find the details online, and it did connect to the "horrible ****" he was complaining about going though in one of his emails. You will notice that everything is about him, his pain, his problems, his efforts to get back his M( yes, really, one would think they have more sense than keep us posted on that). What you can see through the pain is his true colors, but you need to stop contact with him for your own well being. I still struggle and have bad days, but knowing he can't hurt me additionally gives me comfort. I now know the full extent of the damage and that is it. It's not getting bigger. You might want to read my threads. I had and have a lot of rage - a lot. It might help processing yours. Now i deal with my emotions by having out loud conversations when I'm alone. He wouldn't like what I'm saying lol. They used to be only in my head, but i find i have to actually voice them. Write things down, talk about... What you need to know is that he won't offer anything for your healing. He will only hurt you and try to take away from you whatever he can physically or emotionally. Edited January 3, 2013 by cutedragon 2
Author promises Posted January 3, 2013 Author Posted January 3, 2013 promises, you need true NC to be able to detach. I don't know how you can achieve that - I only had to allude to telling his W. You are well beyond that point, so whatever works. You will stay in this high state of mental insanity if he can poke you. ExMM is the same case of lost boy. Soon after I disappeared he got in some trouble with the law, probably a speeding ticket. Didn't find the details online, and it did connect to the "horrible ****" he was complaining about going though in one of his emails. You will notice that everything is about him, his pain, his problems, his efforts to get back his M( yes, really, one would think they have more sense than keep us posted on that). What you can see through the pain is his true colors, but you need to stop contact with him for your own well being. I still struggle and have bad days, but knowing he can't hurt me additionally gives me comfort. I now know the full extent of the damage and that is it. It's not getting bigger. You might want to read my threads. I had and have a lot of rage - a lot. It might help processing yours. Now i deal with my emotions by having out loud conversations when I'm alone. He wouldn't like what I'm saying lol. They used to be only in my head, but i find i have to actually voice them. Write things down, talk about... What you need to know is that he won't offer anything for your healing. He will only hurt you and try to take away from you whatever he can physically or emotionally. thank you. thank you for taking time to help me. I hate that I feel this rage. I am, a generally sweet person.. And I am alone. He and his wife who apparently took him back, are sitting together with their kids enjoying playing house. I really hate that I no longer believe in 'matrimony'.. I no longer believe in any of that. I hate that he was part of taking away that last bit of innocence I had towards that life. I especially hate that I meant so little to him. That I was but a pawn in their 'issues'... I hate that. But, anyone say that I'm better off without a scum bag like that. Anyone can say that at least I'm not his wife dealing with him the rest of my life. But, right now, the joke certainly feels like it's on me. 1
whichwayisup Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 thank you. thank you for taking time to help me. I hate that I feel this rage. I am, a generally sweet person.. And I am alone. You aren't alone. You're free of that roller coaster ride and all that crap that goes with the A. You have friends, family and neighbours - So you're not alone...Rely on them for support. Rage is good, it'll help you keep you on the straight and narrow just in case he tries to reach out again in the future. It's part of the grieving process. He and his wife who apparently took him back, are sitting together with their kids enjoying playing house. Their life is far from happy and cozy, playing house.
2sure Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 Feeling like a fool is part of the process, and the rage of course. Promises, you are in good company here among both OW and BS who have felt the same. Other parts of the process will come if you stay the path. The lesson of course , and empowerment.
Author promises Posted January 3, 2013 Author Posted January 3, 2013 You aren't alone. You're free of that roller coaster ride and all that crap that goes with the A. You have friends, family and neighbours - So you're not alone...Rely on them for support. Rage is good, it'll help you keep you on the straight and narrow just in case he tries to reach out again in the future. It's part of the grieving process. Their life is far from happy and cozy, playing house. yah.. I get that, I do.
Author promises Posted January 3, 2013 Author Posted January 3, 2013 I just feel numb. Not even crying. Which is odd because every day I've been crying since dday. I can't even cry. I just feel totally numb.
whichwayisup Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 Tomorrow, call a friend and go shopping or go for a massage/pedicure/manicure. DO something to make you feel good. Don't let that fu.cktard ruin you! It's a new year, so don't let him get you down for too long.
Recommended Posts