Author Honiebee Posted January 7, 2013 Author Posted January 7, 2013 Well NC is underway although its not unusual for him to not message me for about a week. We will have to cross that bridge when it happens- all of the things on here should help me stay strong. He orchestrated everything and I got sucked in. When he had a girlfriend, he lied to me and said he didn't have one - to get me round his house. I remember he put music on and it was all the stuff we used to listen to when we were together he suggested we drink. We had sex. He started to cry (?!!?!) saying he'd just cheated on his girlfriend. I said that I thought he wasn't with her anymore. He mumbled something about 'getting back together'. I went to leave, to give him a kiss on the cheek goodbye. He wouldn't let me kiss him. After what we'd just done!!! Please! He told me not to cry. I didn't. He had made that happen, all of it!!! So why he so upset?- week later he asked me back over and that was the start of it. The more I think about it- the more furious I get- with myself too. Why didn't I stop it then and there!! God!!
crashvector Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 "the way he can just discard me when he wants" NOOOOOOOOO........you are LETTING him just discard you when he desires because you KEEP GOING BACK! YOU NEED TO SEE THAT. Stop it. It may hurt but STOP IT and move on. This, This, and SO MUCH MORE of this.
Million.to.1 Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 Have you told him you don't want any more contact? ...or are you just sitting there like a f@#king idiot waiting for the week to pass so you can agonize over trying not to reply when he does contact you?? Jeeez.. I don't know why i bother sometimes. I write a paragraph of useful advice and get completely ignored. All the best with your drama then.
Author Honiebee Posted January 7, 2013 Author Posted January 7, 2013 (edited) Have you told him you don't want any more contact? ...or are you just sitting there like a f@#king idiot waiting for the week to pass so you can agonize over trying not to reply when he does contact you?? Jeeez.. I don't know why i bother sometimes. I write a paragraph of useful advice and get completely ignored. All the best with your drama then. I messaged him to say we can't meet up anymore because this is making me feel as though I'm only good for one thing. It's making me feel lonely. No finger pointing or anything- just saying I can't do this anymore. X I wouldn't have been done it without this forum. I probably would've just carried on blindly, until I finally gave up- or he decided he didn't want to see me any more. This way I've sort of taken a bit of control back- I'm just furious at how much time and effort I've wasted. X Edited January 7, 2013 by Honiebee
NoMoreJerks Posted January 12, 2013 Posted January 12, 2013 oh he's good! He cheats on his girlfriend, uses you for sex and then tells you he has no feelings for you, mainly only sees you for sex, and then flips it around and gets mad at you when you want to walk away from his bs! ---sociopath. this!!!!!!
NoMoreJerks Posted January 12, 2013 Posted January 12, 2013 When we were actually together, he wasn't a great boyfriend - constantly pushing me away and letting me down- not wanting to see me. Sounds like my ex. Narcissist/sociopath/borderline personality disorder and used me as a f*ck buddy without me realizing it. He called me his gf, but he never considered this a relationship. Also, he manipulated me constantly, and also engaged in gaslighting.
Author Honiebee Posted July 12, 2013 Author Posted July 12, 2013 Hi all, I haven't been on here for several months now- I've been taking the time to implement NC and to heal. It has been going well, and I now have a great new job and have lost around 8lb this past month and have passed my driving test! I couldn't have done it without all your help. I do feel a bit down today as I have found out through a friend that my Ex is going on holiday with the girl he cheated on (with me!). It seems he's just gone back to her for some fun. I know I am a lot stronger now, but the thought of this drives me wild with jealousy and I'm angry I obviously meant so little to him - his attitude seems to be 'any hole's a goal'. I know I should feel sorry for her but at the same time I have this anger in me! I haven't broken NC, even though he has text asking to meet once or twice. Just felt I had to vent here- and also to thank each and every one of you who wrote to me. At the time I couldn't see past the advice, but once I read it all properly, I began to realise I was the damaged one. X Honey x 1
eddyctv Posted July 12, 2013 Posted July 12, 2013 Wow! Stay strong. He is a user. BIG TIME. Maybe he doesnt know your true feelings for him? I don't know. Just keep doing what you're doing. And find someone else!
Zahara Posted July 12, 2013 Posted July 12, 2013 I haven't broken NC, even though he has text asking to meet once or twice. Just felt I had to vent here- and also to thank each and every one of you who wrote to me. At the time I couldn't see past the advice, but once I read it all properly, I began to realise I was the damaged one. X Honey x Pig. He's back with her and texting you to meet? He wants sex. Keep ignoring him. Pull his ego down a few notches. What a douchebag. 2
Inviv_girl Posted July 12, 2013 Posted July 12, 2013 This men is a total a$$$whole! A selfish brat! you are saving yourself for running away from him. He is not worth at all!!! He will be running around like that his whole life. From one easy "hole" to another. Be thankful to yourself you are no longer his option. 1
Author Honiebee Posted July 12, 2013 Author Posted July 12, 2013 Pig. He's back with her and texting you to meet? He wants sex. Keep ignoring him. Pull his ego down a few notches. What a douchebag. Yup. I don't know if she knows. He said "we always do, so you will". This alone makes me shudder with anger and stay strong. But the fact he's gone back to her makes me a little jealous/angry. But without this forum I couldn't have done it, so wanted to thank everyone. Xxx
Zahara Posted July 12, 2013 Posted July 12, 2013 Yup. I don't know if she knows. He said "we always do, so you will". This alone makes me shudder with anger and stay strong. But the fact he's gone back to her makes me a little jealous/angry. But without this forum I couldn't have done it, so wanted to thank everyone. Xxx He's just using her as meat. That's all it is. Nothing for you to be jealous about. He doesn't get to use you anymore. Best to you! Keep moving forward. 2
darkmoon Posted July 12, 2013 Posted July 12, 2013 (edited) you are young and radiant, a lot of men like that, move on and win in the game of love, my 2 cents Edited July 12, 2013 by darkmoon 1
Echo000 Posted July 13, 2013 Posted July 13, 2013 how would u say you feel overall? how long have you been NC? and finally, how did you hear he was going on a trip? Ideally you wouldnt hear anything about this loser.
Author Honiebee Posted July 13, 2013 Author Posted July 13, 2013 (edited) how would u say you feel overall? how long have you been NC? and finally, how did you hear he was going on a trip? Ideally you wouldnt hear anything about this loser. Hey- I don't know if you read much of the back story (I realise this post is very long). I was already at the end if my tether and wanted things to change. I'd previously done a years NC before but he clicked his fingers and I came ruining (even though he had a girlfriend, he still wanted to have sex with me) Anyway I started NC again in Jan. I wouldn't say I'm fully over him because I did get that pang of jealousy when I heard about her and him. However I DO feel as though I don't want to contact him anymore. I genuinely don't. He has text a few times to meet but I've ignored them because I honestly feel as though I don't want to see him anymore, that's what this site has done for me. So I'd say 7 months NC, but I was already at the point where I desperately wanted things to change. however I no longer loved him , I was just seeking his validation and feeding on breadcrumbs. I heard about him as I went out with a large group of friends and also some people I don't know well. We were talking about people from school and what they are up to now, job wise and relationship wise. Someone mentioned him and that- they'd seen it on Facebook. I felt a twang of jealousy, but I didn't even feel upset. I felt angry more than anything, that it seems as though he 'got away' with his treatment of me (and women in general), as he isn't alone to ponder his wrongdoings and has managed to get another FB now I'm not around. It was more the advice from this site that helped, rather than the NC. I hadn't realised what he was doing and that his treatment of me was that bad. I read the advice over and over. I wanted to message people who helped me but I can't seem to do that- so I do hope they see this. I wouldn't say I'm fully over him, as I think that's the point where you feel indifferent towards someone. But I no longer cry about my life, my body no longer hurts and I feel like I really can do without him. X Edited July 13, 2013 by Honiebee Spelling errors
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