TouchedByViolet Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 Do you ever get surprised at how many people with all sorts of problems and negative traits still manage to find dates and relationships. There are drug addicts, physical abusers, emotional abusers, a holes, bitches, gold diggers and etc. Just all around irresponsible people getting dates and relationships all the time. Then I look at myself and I think this should not be that hard if all those people can do it. 1
KungFuJoe Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 Those people might be good looking, charismatic scum. 1
carhill Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 Social skills, social adeptness and general attractiveness can be exclusive of psychological health. At the extreme end, disordered people create 'masks' which lubricate acceptance by otherwise healthy potentials. Watch out when the mask comes off. Whoa... 3
ImperfectionisBeauty Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 Haha this girl who is like basically retarded has a bf and is pregnant, another girl I know was the biggest slut in school just got engaged so yes there's a problem.
SJC2008 Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 Do you ever get surprised at how many people with all sorts of problems and negative traits still manage to find dates and relationships. There are drug addicts, physical abusers, emotional abusers, a holes, bitches, gold diggers and etc. Just all around irresponsible people getting dates and relationships all the time. Then I look at myself and I think this should not be that hard if all those people can do it. We're stuck in the middle. Not street enough but not good enough:eek:
SJC2008 Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 The last girl I dated was in a 7 year R. I don't know how he put up with her for that long!!! Makes me think what the hell is wrong with me??
ImperfectionisBeauty Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 Just to add you have to look at the type of people they are dating though.. It's not the type of person I would want to date 2
SmileFace Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 Just to add you have to look at the type of people they are dating though.. It's not the type of person I would want to date You can say this again!
todreaminblue Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 Do you ever get surprised at how many people with all sorts of problems and negative traits still manage to find dates and relationships. There are drug addicts, physical abusers, emotional abusers, a holes, bitches, gold diggers and etc. Just all around irresponsible people getting dates and relationships all the time. Then I look at myself and I think this should not be that hard if all those people can do it. everybody has flaws, the people who accept them and accept others are th eones who get dates all the time.......just because dickheads can get dates doesnt mean they can keep the dates interested sometimes they might get lucky eventually they fail because they arent being honest or they get busted......approachabel peopel who are accepting of who and what they stand for also get dates....adn they are postive characteristics...you can whine abotu dickheads gettign dates or you can go out and get one yourself.....your happiness shouldnt depend on a dickheads pulling capabilities..everybody has something wrong,no one person is perfect....its how you carry yourself with acceptance and if you are approachable that actually makes you a good date....bad dates and daters....succcck..they get found out...i dont think they would find dating a really rewarding experience..because its fake....fake isnt rewarding.......deb 1
Fondue Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 Ever notice who those people date? Usually it's the same low level individuals whom have issues of their own. They may not be the same issues, but they are issues. Be it low self esteem, depression, weight, etc. etc. It's very rare that you see a an ill conditioned individual be with a person who's life seems to be in a well adjusted order. 1
carhill Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 IMO, it's an interesting dynamic. Those who 'have so much wrong with them' but do get dates are the epitome of the qualities generally found to be attractive to the reptilian brain, hence their success in getting dates. It's when the rest of the brain becomes involved that they get 'found out'. No fear though, lots of reptilian respondents to move on to. Each potential is replaced with another, resulting in a serial journey through life; perhaps not an ideal situation, presuming one wishes a long-term partner, but rarely if ever a solitary journey, something so lamented by a segment of posters on these forums. I've watched how the disordered ones use other people, up close and personal, and it's fascinating watching them work the human elements. Disassociated from the social impropriety practiced and hurt caused, it's pretty impressive. 2
Sugarkane Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 You see it alot in the breakup forum. Dumpers that were complete Aholes anyway. And they still get a new SO 5 minutes later. Also people who recently got someone else pregnant, yet people are willing to date someone with this baggage.
Mrlonelyone Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 Ahh good old triune brain theory, it explains so much. Appeal to the basic most debased aspects of a person and you can have them. IMO, it's an interesting dynamic. Those who 'have so much wrong with them' but do get dates are the epitome of the qualities generally found to be attractive to the reptilian brain, hence their success in getting dates. It's when the rest of the brain becomes involved that they get 'found out'. No fear though, lots of reptilian respondents to move on to. Each potential is replaced with another, resulting in a serial journey through life; perhaps not an ideal situation, presuming one wishes a long-term partner, but rarely if ever a solitary journey, something so lamented by a segment of posters on these forums. I've watched how the disordered ones use other people, up close and personal, and it's fascinating watching them work the human elements. Disassociated from the social impropriety practiced and hurt caused, it's pretty impressive. To answer the OP yes I think that from time to time. I know Bisexual and transgender people who are HIV + or who have full blown AIDS who are and have been married to men and women since the 80's and mid 1990's. I know people who are former and often relapsed drug addicts, drunkards, etc who all have relationships up to and including marriage. The quality of people they are with isn't obviously low either. They are matched for looks and mental abilities. No offence to them but I really have to think .... am I so defective that I can't find anyone brave enough to be with me? The kind of men and women I go for are mentally and physically simmilar to me in terms of looks and abilities. There comes a point where one has to take a hard look at themselves and figure out if it's just bad luck, or bad choices, or bad looks, or a bad personality that have lead to this. I tend to think that, inspite of my being here so much the last couple years, I am single now because in reality I haven't made a relationship a priority. Everything in life has come before romance. Career, family, ...half a dozen other things... then romance. Relationships take making time, sacrifice, really wanting it and grabbing it when it comes your way, I haven't done that. I haven't tried hard enough or at the right times.
ThaWholigan Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 The thing about those "wrong" people who get dates, is that they know who to target to get their dates, and they have no qualms or fears about going after it. They are quite comfortable in their wackness , so they look for people who are somewhat comfortable or at the very least ignorant about theirs. At least this is how I've seen it pan out. They are also probably more aware of their most attractive traits and naturally they bring those forth more readily than their gaping flaws. I think if most guys knew how to do this they would have more success - and with people of more quality. 4
carhill Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 I find, almost universally, that people who have 'so much wrong with them' upon disinterested analysis but still do remarkably well in getting dates, and even functioning in relationships, are, exclusive of their general attractiveness, amazingly adept and efficient with words, as well as 'reading' people. This is the epitome of 'thinking' an interaction or relationship. It's a puzzle; a math problem to be solved. Unlike those posting here who struggle with 'formulas' and 'strategies' and focusing on 'results', the true professionals move through this milieu with elegance and grace, barely breaking wind. We've all known people like this in life. I remember, in my 20's and early 30's, when I hated them. Ha, it was nothing more than displaced and unhealthy envy of their apparent success. Life teaches lessons. 3
todreaminblue Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 I find, almost universally, that people who have 'so much wrong with them' upon disinterested analysis but still do remarkably well in getting dates, and even functioning in relationships, are, exclusive of their general attractiveness, amazingly adept and efficient with words, as well as 'reading' people. This is the epitome of 'thinking' an interaction or relationship. It's a puzzle; a math problem to be solved. Unlike those posting here who struggle with 'formulas' and 'strategies' and focusing on 'results', the true professionals move through this milieu with elegance and grace, barely breaking wind. We've all known people like this in life. I remember, in my 20's and early 30's, when I hated them. Ha, it was nothing more than displaced and unhealthy envy of their apparent success. Life teaches lessons. I like this..universally.........life teaches lessons...couldn't figure out the stuff in the middle as a positive or negative will take a few readings......I think you learn as you go through life and you meet dickheads you might date a few, meet a few, dump a few.....and you dont fall for the same line twice..if you are able to learn..deb
Eternal Sunshine Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 confidence + superficial social charm = win By the time they discover what's underneath, people are already hooked. 2
Necris Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 The thing about those "wrong" people who get dates, is that they know who to target to get their dates, and they have no qualms or fears about going after it. They are quite comfortable in their wackness , so they look for people who are somewhat comfortable or at the very least ignorant about theirs. At least this is how I've seen it pan out. They are also probably more aware of their most attractive traits and naturally they bring those forth more readily than their gaping flaws. I think if most guys knew how to do this they would have more success - and with people of more quality. I think something about those people with those normally negative seeming qualities are just somehow extremely attractive to others. Either they are unusually good at seeking out people who will be attracted to them, have other qualities like raw physical attraction that makes others ignore their more negative qualities, or people in general are actually unconsciously attracted to those negative qualities. Whatever the case I don't let that bother me, its just a fact of life, people like that while I may personally think have poor personalities or other gaping "flaws", still manage to be far, far more successful than me in the dating arena, they are far better fit for this than I am it seems, which isn't an accomplishment at all as the average guy my age is also far better than me in the dating arena. Not everyone is going to find someone and some are just naturally better at the dating game than others. Its just the way it is.
IT Geek Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 Women would rather date a hot guy they can show off who treats them like crap than someone unattractive who would treat them like a princess.
KungFuJoe Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 Women would rather date a hot guy they can show off who treats them like crap than someone unattractive who would treat them like a princess. How about an unattractive man who treats women like crap? How would someone like that fare? 2
Eternal Sunshine Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 (edited) I have dated plenty of not hot guys that still treated me like crap. Hotness doesn't have much to do with it. Edited January 2, 2013 by Eternal Sunshine 2
Necris Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 How about an unattractive man who treats women like crap? How would someone like that fare? It depends. Is he charismatic or has some other way of getting women to like him? If so he could do very well, but probably not as good as the attractive guy, but he could easily beat out the unattractive nice guy.
Necris Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 I'm even surprised that this should be a rhetorical question. An unattractive guy that acts like an ******* has infinitely more personality than an unattractive nice guy. The unattractive nice guy might as well be the equivalent of white wallpaper. An unattractive guy who treats women badly still needs to have some level of charm and charisma or women will just run from him. But yeah, charismatic unattractive guy who treats women like garbage will do alot better in the dating arena then the unattractive nice guy.
Malia25 Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 Haha this girl who is like basically retarded has a bf and is pregnant, Now now...that's so mean. =/ Even mentally challenged people deserve love too - and when I witness it firsthand, it's the sweetest thing! I remember in high school, there was this beautiful girl who was deaf. A classmate was so into her that he made the effort to learn sign language just to interact with her. They became King and Queen at the senior prom. <3 And no, I am not comparing a person who is mentally challenged with a hearing impaired person. lol. Just a story I wished to tell! The thing about those "wrong" people who get dates, is that they know who to target to get their dates, and they have no qualms or fears about going after it. They are quite comfortable in their wackness , so they look for people who are somewhat comfortable or at the very least ignorant about theirs. At least this is how I've seen it pan out. 'Tis true! I think that I present myself as a classy and professional girl, but I always ALWAYS only get hit on by gangsters and/or "ghetto" guys. And I hate to use the term ghetto, but really...I have no other words to describe that guy. You know, the one with his baggy pants halfway around his thighs, gold teeth, tatts up and down his neck (nothing wrong with tatts, but these are "gangsta" ones). Basically, the opposite physically, of what I am. They have absolutely no qualms about hitting on me and in a way, I find it courageous (yet presumptuous). But I imagine they approach all females with a bountiful booty just the same. o_O I would really love for a classy lookin' fella to approach me. 2013 Gods, can you make this happen? Thanks. And to note, I sometimes witness couples and think 'If they can find somebody, so can I' - but then I realize that they are a perfect match for whatever reason and that we are so astethically different from each other that there is no envy or wonder there. Just a bit of bewilderment though.
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