livelife Posted January 1, 2013 Posted January 1, 2013 They just met a month ago and she lives in a different state.... I'm really upset. I would explain what happened but i'm absolutely shaking right now.
Author livelife Posted January 1, 2013 Author Posted January 1, 2013 So is mine, she has been for a few months now... And guess what? I don't care! I've loved lost and moving on... It's a new year, give it time get over it and wait for somebody better to come into your life I know. I had a great time last night and completely crushed now that i'm home. I'm trying so hard to hold back crying right now.
Author livelife Posted January 1, 2013 Author Posted January 1, 2013 I actually like a new girl, somewhat of a "crush" without sounding too childish... It's a sign that I'm healing, and it's REALLY helping. A few months ago I was at a point of self destruction, depressed to the lowest point of my life.. And don't get me wrong, I'm still hurting, she was my first love but my new years resolution is to stop dwelling on her and start to live my life again... And for some reason, overnight and into a brand new year I actually do feel better, I think mind-set plays a huge part in how you feel. That was my new years resolution but ti was really crushing seeing he is actually in a relationship. He has tried to be friends and texted me today (over flow from text last night) and I told him to quit talking to me, that i wanted nothing to do with him. Probably rude. but i mean it. I never want anything to do with him again.
Author livelife Posted January 1, 2013 Author Posted January 1, 2013 Change your number, or block his. You simply can not have contact with him in "ANY WAY"... nothing, nada, ZERO contact... I know you already know this. This might sound harsh but if you can't resist the urge to completely stop contact... then in a way you actually deserve the hurt you're experiencing, if you do stop contact then that hurt will SLOWLY but surely fade and become bearable. From this point on, His number is blocked. I'm so hurt. I hate this. 1
gullibleme Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 Just look at it this way....it is much easier to move on knowing they have someone else. I think thats what helped me move on quicker...it was like a month or so after my BU that I discovered him with another "New Sweetheart" as he displayed on FB. If you don't see him with someone else it remains in your mind of the hope of reconciling which really never goes well...we tried three times and it became weird in a way...going backwards in a relationship doesn't work in my opinion. Once I blocked him and did the usual wallowing in my own self pity I no longer thought of him in a nice way...keeping the negative thought of him in my mind helped me...he is no longer on that pedestal that is talked about here....it takes time but you'll get there..don't try dating too soon though it is really hard...just take time for yourself...good luck
youngnlove89 Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 They just met a month ago and she lives in a different state.... I'm really upset. I would explain what happened but i'm absolutely shaking right now. Aw I'm so sorry. It's something you will have to accept though even though it is soo difficult to see that. I couldn't imagine, although one day I know it will happen. Don't hold back the tears, let it all out. Trust me you will feel better. Time heals. Take care of yourself right now. Pamper YOU. If you need to cry, cry. If you need to talk, come here. Go out for a walk, listen to some music, put on your favorite tv show, call your best friend and talk. Do anything but think about them. 1
cavalier99 Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 They just met a month ago and she lives in a different state.... I'm really upset. I would explain what happened but i'm absolutely shaking right now. This is fantastic news about his new relationship! Now you REALLY can move on. No more false hope, checking up on him etcetera. No hope is awesome! You will recover and it gets better! Haven't you suffered enough? Good job blocking him!
cavalier99 Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 They just met a month ago and she lives in a different state.... I'm really upset. I would explain what happened but i'm absolutely shaking right now. This is fantastic news about his new relationship! Now you REALLY can move on. No more false hope, checking up on him etcetera. No hope is awesome! You will recover and it gets better! Haven't you suffered enough? Good job blocking him!
Author livelife Posted January 2, 2013 Author Posted January 2, 2013 We dated this whole past year. Were official for only a month, but we had some issues to work out, so we tried working on those. He played me, would flirt with other girls, but would still see me. I really got used. He was going to be my date to an event my school was having, but I uninvited him after I caught him with another girl he told me not to worry about, a girl he didnt know and drove 6 hours basically to have sex with him. Anyways, The night of the event he was invited but no longer invited to, he invites this girl (now gf) he met on twitter. he didnt even know her at the time. Invited her to stay the weekend. He even told me soon after that weekend " you never know what can happen in the future" speaking about me and him, having another chance. When I asked about her the first weekend they hung out he said they werent dating that she lived in a different state. He tried being friends just ast week. I said no. Well, now they're official. After a month of knowing eachother. She has already met his family. Me and him didn't move this fast. At all. it took us about 4 months until we became official.
cavalier99 Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 Sorry your having a rough time. But everything you wrote above is irrelevant. This guy is nothing to you now and you need to stop replaying everything. It is OVER and you are just hurting yourself by comparing and analysing the past too much. It is time to move forward. When you start thinking about his new relationship or him stop yourself and tell yourself you DONT CARE. Good that you blocked him. You really need to worry about what you are doing to recover. Are you planning anything? Working out? Going to parties or hanging with friends? Don't waste anymore time on this a-hole. He isn't your concern anymore. Worry about you.
na49 Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 He doesn't owe you anything anymore. He's allowed to date whoever he wants, and everything he does has nothing to do with you. I know the above is difficult to swallow, but it's all true. I haven't found out that my ex is dating someone new for certain. I've just assumed that she is with the guy she cheated on me with or has found someone else. I don't want to know about it though. I'd feel the same way as you, maybe worse.
Author livelife Posted January 2, 2013 Author Posted January 2, 2013 He doesn't owe you anything anymore. He's allowed to date whoever he wants, and everything he does has nothing to do with you. I know the above is difficult to swallow, but it's all true. I haven't found out that my ex is dating someone new for certain. I've just assumed that she is with the guy she cheated on me with or has found someone else. I don't want to know about it though. I'd feel the same way as you, maybe worse. You're right, but when he is texting me saying you never know what can happen, and a relationship with me and you wont work out until you work on yourself (he thinks im immautre. I'm hurt. I think people say things they normally wouldnt when theyre hurt. ) Anyways I think that is invalid when he says those things.
cavalier99 Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 Livelife. I was looking at some of your threads. This has been going on since last June. I know you got back together briefly but Good G-d. You've gotten some great advise. You really need to take it. How did you find out about his GF. Facebook? Your not going to get better if you don't cut all contact and make a decision to get over him. This could go on a long time if you continue this way. Haven't you had enough pain? Please try harder for yourself. Ok? Good luck
na49 Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 You're right, but when he is texting me saying you never know what can happen, and a relationship with me and you wont work out until you work on yourself (he thinks im immautre. I'm hurt. I think people say things they normally wouldnt when theyre hurt. ) Anyways I think that is invalid when he says those things. You work on you for you, not him. That is a load of crap. A relationship with him won't work because he is a clown and you're heartbroken. Don't let him convince you that you're the reason the relationship doesn't work. That's just not fair. When we're emotional, of course we say things we don't mean. (or at least we don't mean for them to have the effect that they do) Block his number if he's texting you stuff like that. It's nothing but breadcrumbs and won't help you to heal.
Author livelife Posted January 2, 2013 Author Posted January 2, 2013 Livelife. I was looking at some of your threads. This has been going on since last June. I know you got back together briefly but Good G-d. You've gotten some great advise. You really need to take it. How did you find out about his GF. Facebook? Your not going to get better if you don't cut all contact and make a decision to get over him. This could go on a long time if you continue this way. Haven't you had enough pain? Please try harder for yourself. Ok? Good luck I know. I need to go back and read it. Basically its just telling me to move on though. I was doing great, I really was. I have kissed a couple guys since and have finally tried becoming interested in others. Then I see this. It takes you back to square one. And yes facebook. He is still friends with my mom ( she wants to delete him, told him to delete her) and she saw it.
Author livelife Posted January 2, 2013 Author Posted January 2, 2013 I have personally found it helpful in my current situation to pretend that my crush has a girlfriend. He doesn't, and that's not why we stopped talking at all, but it's easier to stop thinking about him when I train myself to associate him with another woman. I think it's good that you know about her. After awhile your brain will tell you to stop thinking of him because your heart WILL get tired of that pain you feel, and you won't want to put up with it anymore. For now it's okay to be upset because what you're going through is real, not imaginary. You can't move on like it never happened. It's okay to dwell a little bit. Feel whatever you need to feel. That's what makes us all human. Then when you get tired of feeling depressed and defeated, you will find a way to carry on, just as we all have. Thank you for this. I'm okay right now, I cried, but I know it will help me MUCH MORE to move on now that he is officially with her. It just seems unreal right now.
Author livelife Posted January 2, 2013 Author Posted January 2, 2013 You work on you for you, not him. That is a load of crap. A relationship with him won't work because he is a clown and you're heartbroken. Don't let him convince you that you're the reason the relationship doesn't work. That's just not fair. When we're emotional, of course we say things we don't mean. (or at least we don't mean for them to have the effect that they do) Block his number if he's texting you stuff like that. It's nothing but breadcrumbs and won't help you to heal. Exactly, and he was calling me immature because of the things I was saying. I was just hurt and I explained that, even though he shouldn't have that satisfaction. School starts back up in a week. I always always see him in the parking deck. Not only will I cold heartedly ignore the **** out of him, I will look very happy. Fake it till I make it I gues.s Its just back to square one. Thats the only way to explain it. I was doing okay, till I saw that. I'll be okay.
Author livelife Posted January 2, 2013 Author Posted January 2, 2013 My roommate/ best friend is bf/gf with one of his close friends. Well shes at his apartment and my ex nad his gf are over there too. I asked my roommate what she thought about her and all she said was " you shouldn't worry over it. i dont want it to upset you." I'm taking this as she likes the girl, which I would hope my friend would be on my side for this... Thoughts?
edelveis Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 well thats something you have to accept and move on.my ex has also a new relationship and seems really happy with him and though i have moved on with my llfe and have overpassed her it always annoys me a bit seeing them together.i feel kind of uncomfortable.but i dont care coz she lost me forever and she is the one who lost.with time everything gets better,this situation too.its a new year so a new you.let aside the wishes and come up with the actions you are responsible for your own happiness..do whatever is required to find it.
crashvector Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 (edited) They just met a month ago and she lives in a different state.... I'm really upset. I would explain what happened but i'm absolutely shaking right now. since we divorced, my ex wife has dated at LEAST 10 or 15 guys. Knowing her, she's SLEPT with 20 or 30 guys. lol Honestly, I don't even ever think about her....but we've been divorced for 7 years. Guess I should take my OWN advice here and realize that its proof that time DOES make things better until you stop caring all together. If I can totally not care about my ex wife banging whatever guy tells her she has nice boobs (and she had an absolutely AMAZING set of d-cups btw lol), and even JOKE about it, that says something. When we split, I cried myself to sleep for 426 consecutive nights. I know...I marked them on a calendar. And here I am 7 years later actually cracking JOKES about her banging other guys lol One of my all-time favorite facebook status updates that I made said this: "People often ask me if it still hurts when I see my exwife with a new boyfriend, and I tell them that no, it doesn't. My parents taught me as a little kid its always good to give your used toys to the less fortunate." lol so yeah...eventually...you WILL stop caring about it. Promise. Edited January 2, 2013 by crashvector 1
Author livelife Posted January 2, 2013 Author Posted January 2, 2013 Thank you for those responses! I know it will get better, I just wish it was happening now. I woke up today thinking about it with my heart pounding and I literally felt so nauseous. Not good. I made myself go back to sleep and ended up having a dream about me and him. Ugh.
edelveis Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 dont worry tis normal.if you have decided that u want to move on and u are moving torwards this direction these dreams will stop sooner or later.i had them too work with yourself and give it time..he is the one who lost.not you
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