Could really use words of wisdom

[sydneylovesyou123]

I've posted many times but I feel like last night was just the final straw. I'm so angry/upset. My bf/ex, whatever you want to call him have been going through tough times. He says he "doesn't know what he wants". Yes, I am quite aware, that that should be a red flag, and should be interpreted as "I don't want to be with you". Now I'm really starting to believe it.

 

Things were great for our relationship over the summer, but when we both went to different schools, that's when it all falls apart. He took all his stress out on me, in a blank way. I couldn't get any emotion out of him. So finally we decided we needed a break. Of course, he said that right before my finals week so I was left a mess. We have only been dating for 5 months, but I'm an emotional person.

 

We've been talking and hanging out all of break, and he still doesn't know what he wants. I've basically initiated all of the hangouts, but he usually texts me first. He's 22 and I'm 19, and he just makes me feel so inferior. Like a little baby that I'm not 21. I asked him what he was doing the past weekend and he said "I don't know what my plans are" then actually goes out to the bar, even though I had mentioned I wanted to do something. Basically like ditching me. He stopped over before and hung out for less than an hour, where I tried having a conversation about us and he said he didn't know what he wanted. That he didn't know if me being with other guys would hurt him. That hurts so bad. You don't know if seeing me with someone else would hurt you??? I just feel really taken for granted.

 

So last night, he seemed to be in a bad mood all day. I had asked him the day before if we were spending new years together. He said, yes if I'm not going to the bar, but if I am then I guess not. We ended up going to this party together and he paid me barely any attention. That's fine, he can go and do his own thing. Except, I feel like he is embarrassed to be seen with me. When he said he was going to get food, he said I could come then he was like it's cold just stay here. Then the final straw: I went to sleep in a friends room before he got back. That friend said he would let him know where I was when he got back. When my boy got back, I woke up and he checked on me. Yet, he went in the other room to sleep on the couch. I texted him "come sleep with me!" He did not respond to that text, instead, I heard him say "she just texted me to come sleep with her, I'll pretend that I didn't see that" I was furious. It's one thing to not respond, but completely different to announce it in front of friends. These aren't even my friends, and now I feel completely embarrassed. We were the only so called "couple" there and he couldn't even sleep next to me? I called him out on it when we left and he said "i would have but I was too comfortable on the couch" He's like now you are mad at me, and I just shrugged it off because I don't want to be mad at him. The whole way home we barely spoke. I just feel like a doormat. I don't know what to do.

 

 

I put all my effort into this and he puts none. Is by saying "I don't know what I want" a way to let me down easy. I'm a very tolerant person but I cannot be treated like a doormat. I'm assuming he thinks he will have me around for a long time. I also get very angry because he always brings up his past. And that's what stems his "I don't care's" because he cared too much before and now he's done caring.

 

 

Any advice? Feeling pretty ****ty.

[sedona]

I haven't read your other posts, but this sounds lousy. Stop being with someone who treats you so poorly. What a horrible thing he did to you! He owes you a million apologies. Get rid of hm, get over him, and find somene who values you & would never intentionally hurt or insult you.

[Samilia]

It's hard to get away from someone you love, however if they don't give you what you want and let you hang till they "figure it out", you are better off calling it. If anything that will make you look strong, which is attractive.