NYC-BigKat Posted January 1, 2013 Posted January 1, 2013 Yea...even on New Years it didn't even matter u know. I went out by myself 'cause no one wanted to go with me & I tried to get my uncle to go & I text him & no answer so I call him & some woman answer his phone & say he's a little out of it but he's staying with her & I could hear lots of noise in back of her so I dont know. Anyways I went into a few lounges and bars & no girls there gave me any eye contact & thats really really bad 'cause I was dressed okay but it seems people are getting worse every yr. Um...I didn't bother talking to any of them since none wanted to even look at me & I know they saw me 'cause my uncle always told me that girls see u way before u see them & already have their minds made up about u before u could do anything about it. Looks like he's right I guess . Then when I went into the duane reade to buy some stuff the people acted like they hated to serve me. Whats wrong with these people?! I wounded up just going into the movies to see django, a stupid movie & there was lots of jerks in there making noise, smoking weed (like my uncle does alot) & this teen couple making out real hard u could hear them breathing a whole lot & moaning . I felt really really bad after this & left the movie early. I did everything I could not to cry . This new year is not starting off good for me & I'm still worrying about that road test & that job. Am I cursed?! Why the same thing year after year? Is it all me or anybody in here getting this same terrible deal just like me alot? How can I turn it around when I'm always so surrounded by all negative mean people every where I go?
Author NYC-BigKat Posted January 1, 2013 Author Posted January 1, 2013 Yea...even on New Years it didn't even matter u know. I went out by myself 'cause no one wanted to go with me & I tried to get my uncle to go & I text him & no answer so I call him & some woman answer his phone & say he's a little out of it but he's staying with her & I could hear lots of noise in back of her so I dont know. Anyways I went into a few lounges and bars & no girls there gave me any eye contact & thats really really bad 'cause I was dressed okay but it seems people are getting worse every yr. Um...I didn't bother talking to any of them since none wanted to even look at me & I know they saw me 'cause my uncle always told me that girls see u way before u see them & already have their minds made up about u before u could do anything about it. Looks like he's right I guess . Then when I went into the duane reade to buy some stuff the people acted like they hated to serve me. Whats wrong with these people?! I wounded up just going into the movies to see django, a stupid movie & there was lots of jerks in there making noise, smoking weed (like my uncle does alot) & this teen couple making out real hard u could hear them breathing a whole lot & moaning . I felt really really bad after this & left the movie early. I did everything I could not to cry . This new year is not starting off good for me & I'm still worrying about that road test & that job. Am I cursed?! Why the same thing year after year? Is it all me or anybody in here getting this same terrible deal just like me alot? How can I turn it around when I'm always so surrounded by all negative mean people every where I go? Um..guess everyone had a good time huh?
ScreamingTrees Posted January 1, 2013 Posted January 1, 2013 Have you ever thought of seeing a psychiatrist? I think a large number of long-term LS regulars would benefit from having a professional identify the root of their problems.
Fondue Posted January 1, 2013 Posted January 1, 2013 Have you ever thought of seeing a psychiatrist? I think a large number of long-term LS regulars would benefit from having a professional identify the root of their problems. This is this forum's most favorite advice. Use a psychiatrist. Anyone else find that slightly odd? 2
ScreamingTrees Posted January 1, 2013 Posted January 1, 2013 This is this forum's most favorite advice. Use a psychiatrist. Anyone else find that slightly odd? Probably because most of the people that get this advice need to do a lot of internal work before they can even blame their problems on their looks.
SmileFace Posted January 1, 2013 Posted January 1, 2013 A curse of what? You already have the mindset that you are going to fail how do you expect different when you yourself don't believe it? 1
ScreamingTrees Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 Yeah, pop psychology and a Xanax is the cure for the modern world. It IS the cure for the modern world, right? Right? When did I say anything about Xanax? Talking to someone who is not able to prescribe medication is the cure? Isn't a psychiatrist only able to recommend and refer someone to a Psychologist, should they feel that they absolutely need it? And even if, they don't have to accept the help. What about the homeless people who are mentally ill? Perhaps they refused to accept any help. Personally, I think that a number of poster's problems are irrational. Even ugly people can get laid and get into relationships. If someone isn't doing it, it's not because they're uglier than those people, it's because they're doing something wrong. Because they're coming off as anxious and possibly downright weird. Cognitive therapy does not require medication, and it could help these people break out of negative patterns and FORCE them into doing things that they'd otherwise never do.. 1
ScreamingTrees Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 This is this forum's most favorite advice. Use a psychiatrist. Anyone else find that slightly odd? What's your suggestion? That they continue to do what they're doing and continue to find no success? No one here can help these people. If they could, I could name half a dozen posters who wouldn't be saying the same exact ****... They can either identify the problem and correct it, or obsessive-compulsively complain to folks like yourself who are not able to make accurate assessments of their life situation going by a static photo or THEIR account of their daily experiences..
PogoStick Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 Mmmmm Xanax. /drool Why therapy? Why not? We can't help people who won't help themselves.
ScreamingTrees Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 I've been on here since july2012 Stop making out like we're all in the category of ****ted on by god look like goblins and can't get dates...lol I'm a babyfaced boxer with a good body and joined the forum for advice on getting over a break up... And now I'm almost there I thought I may aswel stick around for the dating section because LS is an awesome community as a whole.. The majority of people here are normal functioning people here to discuss what they're interested in at the moment... dating, not to moan in every post that they can't get dates because most of us can and do, it's a minority who come here to complain about not having any luck with dating. OP's account of his NYE wandering made me think of Taxi Driver for some reason.. Anyways.. Ok.. ? And since you don't fit amongst the large number of posters who DO moan in a great majority of their posts, claiming and sincerely believing to be one of god's cruel jokes without getting the opinion or help/guidance of someone in the flesh and blood who can TRULY assess their problem, you feel like I'm talking about you or every other regular/long-term member? Nah, dude. These people come here and get half-baked advice and support. There's only so much you can get out of text on a screen.. In fact, you can choose to ignore any truths that are hard to swallow, that might force someone out of their extremely limiting comfort zone.. Not to say that the people reaching out don't mean well, but I'm sure that in many of the recurring cases, there's SOMETHING that isn't translating, on either side. You can't get an idea of a person's body language, the sound and tone of their voice, their mannerisms, temperament, ect going solely by text you're seeing on a screen, there's only so much that can be translated or inferred from what's before you.. Words, thoughts, ideas, information.. All things that can be twisted and distorted or misinterpreted, that every person may perceive differently depending on where they're coming from or their mental state, and there's likely no one around to intervene in their own perpetual self-sabotage. I think a member or two was actually offered a real-time meet-up and they refused.. That'd probably have been the biggest step they could take forwards. Maybe they were afraid, they probably figured "I don't need this, this is pointless, I'm a normal guy who just hasn't really ever had any real luck with women." Riight, man.. What did these guys have to lose? They're likely all still just as lonely as they were since those people reached out to them personally.. If any of the posters like OP really want true help, they'd figure out who to go to, be it a dating/life coach, a social worker, therapist, psychologist/psychiatrist, whatever.. I don't think they really do. I think it's easier for someone to stay in their comfort zone, and use any slight discomfort to reinforce their beliefs that they should stay in line.. Even though they're in some sort of limbo of frustration that is leaving them just as uncomfortable.. They'll likely never make any REAL changes on their own.. Maybe subtle, gradual changes over the years, but with a bit of humility, open-mindedness and optimism a lot of people here could potentially make a lot of changes to their outlook and lifestyle..
ScreamingTrees Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 I like your response, I read it all and mockingly, cruelly laughed along with you, I agree 100%... But I wasn't defending these people, I was defending myself lol, and the majority of normal, functioning, sexually successful people on the site, we do exist! I got the impression from your first post that you were trying to say this site is full of... well losers basically, who only come here out of desperation.. To be honest I am here out of desperation, but it's not because I can't get a girl, I can, actually I'm here because a girl put me in that desperate situation... and I won't be making posts complaining about my dating success (or hypothetical "lack of success") any time soon, I've never had any problems. It's fine, but you really didn't have to feel compelled to say anything, as if I singled you out, man.. I'm just saying that if anything, for every poster like yourself, there's one or two guys who for whatever reason routinely post or make threads full of negativity and delusional beliefs. I originally came to this site out of both boredom and interest in other people's experiences, myself.
ChessPieceFace Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 If you want cheap sex, read and follow any of the pickup guides available. If you want a real relationship, I think expecting "something to happen on New Years" is pretty silly. What did you even expect to happen because it was New Years? That you'd make out with some drunk stranger? Again, if that's your goal, see the first line of this post. Also if you want a real relationship I'd stop cruising bars expecting to find one. And if you're not having success it's something YOU'RE doing, whether it's attitude, how you dress, body language, or even something more basic like just looking in the wrong place. The world does !@%$ing suck and it's not going to stop sucking. Since you still want love or sex or whatever, you have to get past that and work on the things you need to work on.
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