sharsh Posted January 1, 2013 Posted January 1, 2013 First of all, I wanted to thank everyone here. When my friends were all tired of hearing about my breakup, I came here, and was welcomed with open arms of strangers on the internet. Some were kind, some was that tough love you don't really get anywhere else. When I first joined, I was in such a terrible state of mind, I honestly just didn't see a meaning to life without him. I was a mess. From reading different posts, I learned about NC. Initially, I started it for the wrong reasons, to get him back, make him miss me, etc. He still texted me from time to time, only talking about sex, though. So the texts were easy to ignore, but his texts here and there, kept him on my mind, so I wasn't really getting better. Then I broke NC, and posted about it. He told me about his new gf, how he hadn't changed his mind about us, that if "it doesn't work with her he'd come back to me", blah blah blah. I was so upset. I said some really hurtful things to him, and told him to never ever EVER text me again. To which he told me I was being a b*tch, but he wouldn't text me anymore. I felt like I was back at square one. That was maybe two or so weeks ago..? He hasn't texted me since. No merry christmas, nothing. Zilch. No texts from him, combined with this forum, and not contacting him at all... I finally feel pretty happy again. When I first came here, I thought I'd never feel happy again. I don't feel the need to contact him. I don't feel the need to look at his facebook. I don't feel like I need to talk to his friends to see how he is. I don't feel the need to drive by his house anymore either. I don't feel the need to pour my heart out into my diary anymore... all of the pages before this, reading back through them, were so disgusting of me. I feel content. I feel like I can finally see through the "love blinders" I had on, I can see all of his imperfections now, how everything he's done to me through the course of our relationship was so f*cked up. I feel like, I don't want him back anymore. I feel free of him. And it's never felt better... I just wanted to thank everyone here, for all of their help, and how they continue to help those that are where I was 2+ months ago. I'm ready for this new year, and the men it has to offer. haha. And if anyone's reading this that is fresh out of a breakup, you WILL feel better. The sun WILL shine again! Some of the advice here IS hard to act out, but it IS for a reason, and it IS worth it! Thanks again LS! 7
Keenly Posted January 1, 2013 Posted January 1, 2013 It's good to see some one once so sad now have a positive outlook. I am quite happy that you can see it for what it is now. Just remember, when you feel the need to text, text some one else. I'm sure there are plenty of people who would be happy to talk to you about anything, and not get tired of hearing you talk about your last relationship lol. 1
Pinky777 Posted January 1, 2013 Posted January 1, 2013 I'm so glad to hear you're feeling more positive and strong. I wish I could feel like that! I found out the hard way last night why staying in contact with an ex you still have feelings for is never a good idea. I thought i could handle it and be above it as an adult. Nope. Now it's full-on NC and all about me. I hope 2013 is good to you, you're well on your way to moving on to bigger and better things! 1
Author sharsh Posted January 1, 2013 Author Posted January 1, 2013 I always come here, or write in my diary whenever I felt the need to text him, or I just had something on my mind about him, I wanted off my chest. Having this outlet has helped me immensely. I honestly don't know what my state of mind would be like if it hadn't been for these forums and all of the advice I'd gotten. I'd probably be stuck on the roller coaster with him, still texting, still being strung along like a lost stray dog. That is why I'm so grateful for everything I've learned here, and all the advice, even if it WAS tough to follow through with!
Author sharsh Posted January 1, 2013 Author Posted January 1, 2013 I'm so glad to hear you're feeling more positive and strong. I wish I could feel like that! I found out the hard way last night why staying in contact with an ex you still have feelings for is never a good idea. I thought i could handle it and be above it as an adult. Nope. Now it's full-on NC and all about me. I hope 2013 is good to you, you're well on your way to moving on to bigger and better things! Thank you! You will get there too! I promise you that. Contact + ex + feelings = continued heartbreak. I learned that too, which is why I continued on with NC. So good for you, for coming to that conclusion! It only gets better from here, 2013 will be good to you! hugs!
Author sharsh Posted January 2, 2013 Author Posted January 2, 2013 thanks for sharing your story You're welcome! I figured those that remember me/have helped me, would appreciate that I've put all of their suggestions and tough love to use.
JemJ Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 so nice to hear NC has worked for you! I'm trying to go NC (see my thread) but always think of an excuse to talk to him. I have this weird thing where I have to leave things nicely before I can do it as I hate falling out with people I care about. I did it for 5 weeks recently (same guy) with my friend too (she and I had a bet!) and we felt so empowered so I dont know what is stopping me from jumping in again this time. Annoying that it worked well and now I'm back at square one with him grrr!!
Author sharsh Posted January 2, 2013 Author Posted January 2, 2013 so nice to hear NC has worked for you! I'm trying to go NC (see my thread) but always think of an excuse to talk to him. I have this weird thing where I have to leave things nicely before I can do it as I hate falling out with people I care about. I did it for 5 weeks recently (same guy) with my friend too (she and I had a bet!) and we felt so empowered so I dont know what is stopping me from jumping in again this time. Annoying that it worked well and now I'm back at square one with him grrr!! Breaking NC will never do you any good. Trust me on this one. The only reason I broke NC was to tell my ex to STOP texting me. It still put me back at square one, only for a few days, though. Look around this forum, too... Everyone that breaks NC ends up miserable all over again. You can either learn from experience, or take our words for it. Start coming here when you feel the urge to talk to your ex (that's what I did). In the "coping" forum there is a thread there "Post here instead of contacting your ex!" Trust me, it helps! Good luck to you sweet heart! You'll get to happier days. (: 1
crashvector Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 You're welcome! I figured those that remember me/have helped me, would appreciate that I've put all of their suggestions and tough love to use. I have a question for you if I may? If you had to pick ONE thing..the one thing that helped you get over the hurt the most...what would you say that one thing was? Just sorta desperate for anything that I might be able to do to make this end faster....
livelife Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 I think i'm in that place you were weeks ago, my ex just got a girlfriend, and I told him exactly the same thing, to never text me again. I cried, but I feel okay right now. I can't wait to be happy and not tempted to look at his online stuff anymore. That'll be true freedom.
wilmanelson76 Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 Its good to hear that NC, has worked for you, most importantly take the time to focus only only YOU. It will help you look at it better. Wish you a better 2013, hope you are on to better things in Life!
Author sharsh Posted January 2, 2013 Author Posted January 2, 2013 cashvector: I really don't think there was any ONE thing that helped me. But the things that helped the most..? Making a million +++ entries in my diary, actually WRITING, not typing out, all of his flaws, shortcomings, all of the wrong he did to me, OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER. And of course, telling him to f*ck off and stop texting me all the damn time. When the texts stopped coming, and I just felt like I "already knew" everything I was going to write in my diary...after I had finally beaten it into my brain that he's nothing more than a douche. I stopped hurting so much. Of course I did the other things as well, kept myself busy, got a new job, showered myself with friends, went out ALL THE TIME, had fun, FOCUSED ON MYSELF, prayed to God (if you're into praying) to take all this pain away. You can do it! There is no instant cure, in October, I wished and wished and wished that there was some magical cure. It all takes time. But you will get there! livelife: Have you blocked him/deleted him from online social networks etc? If you haven't, do it NOW. Erase the temptation. You'll only set yourself back everytime you look at those things. Keep in mind, usually people only post up their "happy moments" on those things. wilmanelson76: Thanks! That is my goal, and I plan to keep on keepin' on!
Chi townD Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 Awww...I'm glad you're feeling better!! But, you'll still have good days and bad. But, people will be hear to listen when you have those bad days and celebrate with you on the good days. I'm also glad that you've finally seen that you are no ones second choice or a consolation prize. I can tell by the way you write that you are a kind and sweet person and you deserve someone that will treat you the same. But, don't worry about other guys right now. You still need more time to heal and when you're ready to date again you're going to knock some lucky guys socks off! (lucky bastard...)
Author sharsh Posted January 2, 2013 Author Posted January 2, 2013 Awww...I'm glad you're feeling better!! But, you'll still have good days and bad. But, people will be hear to listen when you have those bad days and celebrate with you on the good days. I'm also glad that you've finally seen that you are no ones second choice or a consolation prize. I can tell by the way you write that you are a kind and sweet person and you deserve someone that will treat you the same. But, don't worry about other guys right now. You still need more time to heal and when you're ready to date again you're going to knock some lucky guys socks off! (lucky bastard...) Thank you! I remember you coming in and giving me some advice, even if I didn't want to hear all of it. I'm actually really repulsed now when he suggested he'd "come back if it didn't work out" with his new girl. I deserve number one, and only one! Haha. (: And again, thank you. (: I'm not really looking to date anyone just yet. I'm not really actively pursuing it. I have a guy friend I've been hanging out and going out to bars with, I think which has helped a lot too. It's mostly a just friends situation, we don't want a relationship with each other, that feeling is totally mutual, we're really good friends and I'd like to keep it that way. But the door is open for Mr. Right whenever he decides to show up.
headsashed Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 But the door is open for Mr. Right whenever he decides to show up. on my way haha,joking,i cant believe ur ex has said that,disgusting or what,im glad your feeling much better and when u think about it,things can only get better. Im 8 months post BU and im smiling everyday,thanx to this site. Just keep going the way you are and soon enough you will be happily married
Chi townD Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 Thank you! I remember you coming in and giving me some advice, even if I didn't want to hear all of it. HEY!!! I wasn't THAT bad was I?!?!?! Point is, I'm glad that you're doing so well and you've found your self respect AND your self worth! You deserve nothing less that a guy that's going to give you nothing less than 100% of himself. I'm very happy for you! Your post brightened my day!
Author sharsh Posted January 2, 2013 Author Posted January 2, 2013 headsashed: That's another thing I kept telling myself "Things can only go up from here" Then before you knew it I had a new, better job, and good things just keep coming my way. And yes.. He was a jerk for that, lol. Chi townD: Haha, you weren't! I just wasn't "ready" to hear everything out loud that was spinning in my own head, because I didn't want it to be true. lol..? And thank youuu! I just wanted people to know, especially the ones that DID help me, that I was seeing happier days, and can now notice when the sunshine is beating down on me.
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