Javabear Posted January 1, 2013 Posted January 1, 2013 For the past three months I've been imagining my ex having the time of his life with the girl he had a crush on. I pictured fun dates, laughter and happiness... everything he and I used to share for the last three years. And this killed me because while I have been focusing on myself and doing things for me, I've also been a little lonely without him. But then I started snooping. And I realized that this girl is not into him. She's not his girlfriend. She's been rejecting his compliments. And then it hit me: the first thing he told me about her is that she's always happy and nice to everyone. And I think my ex thought that her niceness towards him meant that she had feelings for him. But that just does not seem to be the case. And he's trying so hard to persuade her, most likely because he knows that he gave up a wonderful relationship with me. So, as it turns out, over the past three months I've been surrounding myself with loving friends and family as well as strengthening friendships with our mutual friends who all took "my side" in the breakup. I've been figuring out what I want to do with the rest of my life and making plans that don't involve a boyfriend. And although I do miss my ex, and although something in my heart tells me that we should be together other once he grows up and gets his act together, I know that I'm doing fine on my own. Meanwhile, he's chasing after a girl who isn't interested. Perhaps it's part of his learning and growing process to make this mistake. I look forward to the day reality hits and he realizes what he's done. Would I take him back? It depends entirely on the circumstances at the time and I have no way of knowing when or what that might be. But for right now it's enough for me to know that he's not quite as happy as I imagined. It's not much, but it's a little victory for me, and I'll take it. Do you think the fact that he's texted me a couple times in the last month indicates that he's starting to wake up to the reality that a relationship with this other girl may never happen and he just might be losing me forever?
Survivor12 Posted January 1, 2013 Posted January 1, 2013 Do you really want to be his second choice? 1
Author Javabear Posted January 1, 2013 Author Posted January 1, 2013 Do you really want to be his second choice? No. I want to be his reason to become the true, honest, loving person I know he can be. I want to be his realization that life and love are hard and that even the best relationships take work. And I want to be forgiving enough to say, "Yes, you made a mistake, but we're all allowed some of those throughout our lives and you deserve the chance to make up for it." I want this not because I'm stupid or naive or willing to settle for second best, but because I believe in second chances (if they're earned) and because I would like to hope that if the tables were turned someone would do the same for me. 1
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