Angel Heart Posted January 1, 2013 Posted January 1, 2013 My neighbor has a history of depression, anxiety and PTSD signs and symptoms. We spoke last week about her struggles with going on dates despite the medications to alleviate her symptoms. She's a wonderful person and if one didn't know her history, one would just assume she is a bit anxious sometimes. Guys, would you date someone with such a history?
RR1 Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 I too have a history of mental health problems that include anxiety and severe depression so i would have to say yes. Mental health problems are very common but they can be worked on and improved and as i have found out recently not only through a combination of drugs, in fact drugs should only be considered a short-term solution IMO, (though i'm no expert and would certianly not advise anyone to cease medication without discussing it with a MH worker first). There are many other ways that MH problems can be worked on and overcome that do not resort to medication and the advantage of these treatments is that they can be more successful as a long-term solution which is obviously what sufferers are looking for. So yes i'd say go for it but jut be aware of the nature of the condition and how it is likely to affect the relationship and how you can both work on the solutions. It will not always be easy but then can't the same be said for relationships in general. 1
JamesM Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 I would date someone I loved despite her problems, but I would not date someone knowing they had the problems. Having dated someone who was sexually abused, I would not say to someone to seek out one who was abused. Yet having married that same person, I can say that the sexual abuse made her what she is today...good and/or bad. It has brought its own set of obstacles, but together WE have overcome many of them. If you love someone, don't avoid her because of her problems. However, if you do not love her, then realize what her problems will bring to your relationship before starting one with her.
SensitiveTJ Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 I dated a woman with severe PTSD for over a year. It depends on exactly what kind of trauma we're talking about, I suppose. Is it general or very specific? My girlfriend almost died when her house burned down. Any visual depiction of fire, people talking about fire, or the sound of wood burning were her triggers. So if we were watching TV, I would have to change the channel if a bad image came onscreen. I can live with that. 1
Nyla Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 I have PTSD from surviving physical and sexual abuse. After spending a total of four years in therapy, the symptoms are minimal. There are still flashbacks and I become very anxious when the bathroom is dirty, because I was beaten if I did not clean properly. My husband just hugs and kisses me when I am freaking out over the bathroom. He makes me feel safer than any man I have ever been with. Your neighbour should put off dating until she has worked through her issues. Sometimes vulnerable women attract men who take advantage of their emotional damage. 1
Star Gazer Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 I think it would be easier starting to date someone who already has PTSD, than to date someone "normal" who later acquired PTSD (BTDT). Seeing the permanent change the person goes through, and how it affects your relationship... it's too much.
Ninjainpajamas Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 I would have to say no personally. People with serious issues tend to dominate relationships and their issues can become the focus and black hole that needs constant attention and energy, after being in a relationship with a self destructive person I would err away from such a challenge...as I had seen it in the past, once I realized it had nothing to do with me and I was completely powerless to change or improve it I realized that I'd either have to live my life severely affected and being damaged by this person or move on and regain my own life back. However with that being said, they did not have the power/ability to resolve it, nor in did they truly want to change themselves, they thought they were just "fine". So I think a personality can have something to do with this, however she was a wonderful woman who otherwise was successful and was very likeable even loved by many because she had a sincere and genuine personality, but it didn't change how she was behind closed doors which was a whole other person entirely that no one knew about. I have a sympathetic heart and do care, and understand issues and struggling through them...however I know I need to take care of myself and my own sanity, and If I feel like I'm putting myself in a situation that is not ok or will push my own buttons and make me unhappy then I'll make the wise decision over the emotional one. 1
todreaminblue Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 (edited) It is hard fro guys to accept and get through someone who has ptsd,it is hard for the person who has ptsd to explain why it is there.But.......there are men who can take it in their stride.....no relationship is easy if the problem is pre existing and already lived with, the triggers are already identifiable.I know what triggers me, one is falling over(doesnt everyone try not to fall), i flash back...so i try hard not to fall over, and if i do i ask people not to touch me and allow me to get up by myself to avoid flashbacks.......i can get paranoid, but i know what triggers this and i often pre empt situations and have strategies, i have had a lot of therapy over the years, not for this in particular, but i am self sufficient...i dont need help to get through i t.already lived it and deal with it..just acceptance and understanding and when i get a bit loopy the same acceptance helps......i had a relationship for fifteen years, he did leave me when i was getting sick ...but with what i had to handle most women would have struggled......plus he was having an affair so..yep...made me sicker.....i felt abandoned and that didnt help.....not for me or the kids....didnt want to write a sob story had too many blue lollipops for that watermelon and blue lollipops perfect combination..maybe not for me though....my sides hurt from laughing...... i believe there are guys who will stick by and can handle women with ptsd...like their are women who can stick by returning soldiers......same thing......different circumstances..takes a lot of core strength for a guy.....as it does the woman to get through ptsd...deb Edited January 4, 2013 by todreaminblue
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