Joey1984 Posted January 1, 2013 Posted January 1, 2013 My ex broke up with me in October, we were together for 18months, she told me she doesn't know how she feels and is unhappy with the way the relationship is going, I accepted the break up, she texted me that night saying how I was her best ever boyfriend shes had and how lucky she was to have me and I always will be special to her, after that we went 3 weeks of no contact during this time she had told my sister how shes not ruling out getting back together, then the following week asking my friends if I'm ok and have they spoken to me then a few weeks later she told some mutual friends that she feels she made the right choice by breaking up with me. 3weeks after the break up i had a missed call from her on my phone which she claims she didn't mean to ring me ( i think it was excuse to talk to me) and we ended up having a text convo I asked her how she was feeling about things she said she didn't know but felt happier, so after that I gave her more space didn't contact her for another 3 weeks then when I was drunk i texted her told her i missed her she told me she was sorry and just wants to be friends, a few weeks later she saw that some girl had been writing on my wall on Facebook and started to ask mutual friends about her and asked if i was ok etc. the following week we had a work xmas party (i use to work with her) it was the first time i had seen her since the break up and was really awkward at first but eventually was fine and even shared a taxi back home, we had a long heart to heart that night and i told her how I loved her (never told her when I was with her) and how I wanted her back that she was the one i wanted to marry she cried said that she still just doesn't know how she feels or what she wants she told me that what will be will be and believes in fait, after this we were texting on and off for a few weeks i even was picking her up from town after nights out, but its got to the stage where I feel like I'm her safety net she knows I'm always gonna be here for her, my question is have i given her enough time to miss me? And by me going no contact and start to move on will she start to miss me Or have I got no hope at all, not sure what to do
na49 Posted January 1, 2013 Posted January 1, 2013 I've posted here long enough to find out that "I don't know what I want" = "I want to date other people" If you're going NC to try to get her to miss you. You're doing it for the wrong reason. If she misses you, she'll miss you. If you stay away long enough she should, and she might reach out to you. When she does, you should post here and NOT respond. It's all breadcrumbs anyway and will do nothing for your healing.
tulips Posted January 1, 2013 Posted January 1, 2013 Give her some space and check back in 2 month Meanwhile - there is nothing wrong with being safety net women appreciate help
cavalier99 Posted January 1, 2013 Posted January 1, 2013 (edited) Give her some space and check back in 2 month Meanwhile - there is nothing wrong with being safety net women appreciate help While i agree that woman like you being a safety net. You definitely shouldn't do this with your ex. BAD BAD BAD IDEA. She is using you. You need hard core NC. It will take you forever to recover at this rate. This game only helps her and hurts you. Don't be her doormat anymore. She dumped you. She isn't with you any more. You don't have sex with her. You are just a shoulder to cry on and when she is confused she goes back to the familiar. Just because she cries etcetera doesn't mean she wants you as her BF. Tell her to take a hike and go NC. Disappear Ninja...for good. , And YES it is OVER. Time to Man Up. Remember she is selfishly USING you and you are letting her. Edited January 1, 2013 by cavalier99 3
Author Joey1984 Posted January 1, 2013 Author Posted January 1, 2013 Thanks for the replies, I know I need to move on i need to do this for myself, I'm so sick of feeling like this, I'm far to nice for my own good i feel like she took advantage of that when I was with her, and knowing I'm chasing her being a door mat she has me exactly where she wants me. If she texts me should i ignore it whilst in NC? Cant see her texting me to be honest
cavalier99 Posted January 1, 2013 Posted January 1, 2013 (edited) Yes NC mean not even responding. Recover your self esteem. That is all we have right now you lose it when you contact her or respond. Read this it is like the recovery bible. Also NO FOOLIN guide to no contact. It is pinned up top in the coping section http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/coping/281193-all-new-no-contact-thread Good luck! Post here instead of contacting her. Edited January 1, 2013 by cavalier99
Tmo2 Posted January 1, 2013 Posted January 1, 2013 (edited) This game only helps her and hurts you. She dumped you. Just because she cries doesn't mean she wants you as her BF. it is OVER. Time to Man Up. Once you have said all you had on your heart and she still hasn't come back, Stop pursuing. Leave and think about yourself, what do you want in life? Probably a solid and loving relationship with this girl right? Yea I am living it too right now.. But what else do you want? A house? What about your career??? Do you wish to travel? What do you desire? Do your visions about your future relationship suggest that you have a home? If so what do you need to do to get there? Once you awnser these questions you will know what to do. Like Cavalier99 said : Time to Man Up. Edited January 1, 2013 by Tmo2
na49 Posted January 1, 2013 Posted January 1, 2013 Thanks for the replies, I know I need to move on i need to do this for myself, I'm so sick of feeling like this, I'm far to nice for my own good i feel like she took advantage of that when I was with her, and knowing I'm chasing her being a door mat she has me exactly where she wants me. If she texts me should i ignore it whilst in NC? Cant see her texting me to be honest I'm too nice for my own good too. Although it makes sense, if we're nice to people. They'll be nice to us. That's NOT how it works. If we demand people to respect us, they will respect us. If we are a doormat, they'll step on us. She did take advantage of you, and probably would love for you to come running back just so she can reject you and say something like "I still love you, but I just want to be friends" it's all horsesh*t! Of course you should ignore her. You don't want to know what she's up to, or what she has to say unless it's "I miss you, I'm sorry, can we start over?" If you want, block her number so you don't jump every time your phone rings and feel disappointed when it isn't her.
Author Joey1984 Posted January 2, 2013 Author Posted January 2, 2013 Found out tonight from a mutral friend she slept with someone last night... She's more then happy with single life by looks of it so just going to let her get on with it, I'm done with chasing her I'm done with feeling so 5hit I'm just done in general, I've deleted off Facebook deleted her number, I'm moving on for good, she will realise one day shes made a mistake and i won't be there anymore, what's the saying, you never know what you had until its gone. Good luck to her!
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