xilver Posted January 1, 2013 Posted January 1, 2013 Went to a bar for new years to meet the girl I have been seeing for the past 9 months on and off. We had been arguing but I went to the bar because I didn’t want to be away from her and when I get there she tells me she already has a new years kiss lined up. I told her I wanted to see who it was that she was going to kiss. She told me I would see when she kissed him. Sure enough she ended up kissing a guy twice in front of me. Is she being disrespectful to me? I would never do that to her and I never thought she would to me. Did I somehow give her the ok by my response?
veggirl Posted January 1, 2013 Posted January 1, 2013 Um wow. Yes that's disrespectful...why do you even have to ask? Is she your girlfriend, if so I'd dump her. She sounds very immature and bratty and well also like a cheater 1
Author xilver Posted January 1, 2013 Author Posted January 1, 2013 I ask because she tells me I'm not showing interested in her. She makes me feel like I am doing something wrong(Idk if I am?). We have been seeing each other and going on dates and having sex. We do spend a lot of time together but she never expressed a desire to make it exclusive even though i asked in the past. It was her idea to start having sex again recently as friends but she gets upset at me for not showing interest at the same time. I don't get it. Yes she is bratty and immature about half of the time. Never thought she would be a cheater though. Her kissing another guy caught me off guard and I didn't really process what happened until i dropped her off and came home. I know if I say something to her about it she will somehow blame me and say that it was a just a little kiss. But since we are FWB currently maybe I am making too much of a deal about it in my head?
Angel Heart Posted January 1, 2013 Posted January 1, 2013 But since we are FWB currently maybe I am making too much of a deal about it in my head? Yep, you answered your own question. FWB is a whole different mindset for both males and females. Explains what happened well. And she sounds immature to boot.
Author xilver Posted January 1, 2013 Author Posted January 1, 2013 Thanks for the responses. So it seems I have no basis to get upset about it? Would any of you even bother trying to talk about it in that situation? Even though we are fwb we both told each other we weren't seeing anyone else. I thought or hoped it was progressing towards a relationship. She tells me she wants that with me but also that i don't show her I am interested enough. If I ignore her for a while she will apologize and start being nice again. Why is it so complicated?
veggirl Posted January 1, 2013 Posted January 1, 2013 If you are really just FWB then you shouldn't care. Since you do care, you should end the FWB thing and either make it exclusive (I wouldn't, she sounds like a child rubbing your face in to the fact that she can kiss someone else?) or just move on.
Author xilver Posted January 1, 2013 Author Posted January 1, 2013 Here is a bit of our past: We started seeing each other over the summer. We do have things in common like music, education, games, and stuff but our personalities are different. She is aggressive, quick to respond, likes to drink and go out where I am passive and a thinker who takes time to respond. It took us a while to start having sex and even longer to start having good sex. For my bday in September I took her to San Diego and we went out to listen to a blues band. She complained quite a bit about having to wake up early and upset about where I wanted to go eat because she thought it might be too dressy for her. At the end of that night she flipped out on me and said I only wanted to have sex with her and that’s why I brought her. She told me to go find someone to ****, we could meet up after and she could care the least. She said we would never work out and on and on she went bashing me on my bday. I didn’t say 1 word to her on the way home from SD. I made sure she was home had her things and I was gone. I did not contact her after that. She would text me from time to time about random little things but in all cases I let the conversations die out by not responding after the initial response. Eventually she said she was sorry for how she acted and asked me out as friends. I was ok with that and we started hanging out and doing little stuff as friends and I started asking her out again too. Then about a month ago we started having small kisses and holding each other in bed without making out or having sex. I knew I liked her but didn’t want to go much further than that because of the past. Then she told me we could hang out like we are but just include sex. It seemed like a good idea to me I mean what guy would pass that up, right? Somewhere after we started having sex again it started to feel like we were together and shortly after we started arguing. We would see each other and be good and then next time we didn’t pick up where we left off. She says I don’t show her that I am interested in her. I tell her I am but she openly admits that she doesn’t believe me. She constantly tells me that I need to find a girl that I will open up to and show that I like them. I don’t know where to go from here with this girl. It’s like she has 2 personalities. One day she says she is done with the bars and then the same night she tells me she is going out. She tells her friends that I don’t kiss her enough but in the past she has made comments that turn me off. One time I kissed her and she asked me if we are going to kiss all the time now? Then another time I touch her back and all she can tell me is that it makes her think oh no he is going to want to have sex with me now. It is very confusing to be with her. She tells me how so many other guys have shown interest in her and that I don’t. It bothers her a lot and is the source of all our arguments. Now she just called to ask me if I’ve been having sex with other people. She didn’t believe me when I told her no and then told me to have a nice year. She is pissed at me why exactly? I think because I didn’t give her any attention last night after she kissed that guy. I'm leaning towards moving on but I have tried that before and she comes back. She is very skilled at getting what she wants. I need major help with this one.
Axee Posted January 1, 2013 Posted January 1, 2013 I.D.I.O.T girl thats it ..nothing more to say... And you seem weak to put a full stop.. FWB?? So you are tangled in this for sex.. You now know what you gotta do to get out of this !
Author xilver Posted January 1, 2013 Author Posted January 1, 2013 question: idiot is an acronym for something or are you just saying she is an idiot? Is giving up the sex the way out?
Axee Posted January 1, 2013 Posted January 1, 2013 thts my way of saying plain old idiot.. Yes, it is indeed the way out.. and then go no contact with her..
veggirl Posted January 1, 2013 Posted January 1, 2013 She is a drama queen. All of this crap and you've only been dating for like 6 mos? Yes give up the sex, give up the hang outs, etc. Bashing you on your birthday, kissing another guy in front of you on NYE. She is a mean person, pretty clear to see that.
Author xilver Posted January 1, 2013 Author Posted January 1, 2013 yes she has some issues. I see the meanness and I'm glad I'm not the only one that thinks so. I know I am not perfect but I also know she doesn't have to be so mean to me if I do something she doesn't like. She tried asking me to breakfast a little bit ago. Asked if I wanted to go with her or should she ask someone else to go? I ignored and talked about last night instead. She got upset and tried to blame me at first. She was insisting that because she told me before hand and I didn't stop her that it was ok, but she eventually apologized about how kissing the random guy in front of me upset me (Didn't apologize for the act only the way it made me feel). Took her a long time to admit even that. she also said she realizes the way I am and that she can't change me but that she does want to be with someone who is with her because he truly wants to be and not because she bugs him about it. I told her to pursue that then instead of getting upset at me for being who I am. Not in a mean way either I just see that she isn't happy with the amount of attention I give her and it hurts me how she attacks me. She said ok but I know that's not the end of it. This girl is persistent.
Axee Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 She wants you to not be just FWB .. She wants a relationship.. Are you ready for it? If yes , stop the drama , say it to her that you too want a relationship . If no, and you want to continue FWB then drop this here. She is clearly not able to handle the FWB .
Author xilver Posted January 2, 2013 Author Posted January 2, 2013 You are absolutely right. That is what she wants. Finally got her to talk about it. She was saying something else but mostly was bummed that I wasn't pursuing her. Thanks for the comments. 1
veggirl Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 You are absolutely right. That is what she wants. Finally got her to talk about it. She was saying something else but mostly was bummed that I wasn't pursuing her. Thanks for the comments. Well and now you know how she handles conflict...sorry guy but still not looking good. she's a drama queen.
Maneater Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 we all have our moments to make our bf or gf a little jealous but yes kissing someone else right in front of you is very extreme. lose her.
Axee Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 She seems childish and hyper emotional but i dont think thats reason enough to leave her... Different ppl have different flaws.. As long as he loves her i think its okay... I think the girl was fed up of dropping hints that she wants a relationship...
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