Amelie1980 Posted January 1, 2013 Posted January 1, 2013 Ok got a non-specific generic happy new year text from him last night. I have been ill and am a but fragile. I was enjoying waiting for new year with my family when suddenly I was in floods of tears.... I can't stand this and I've had enough of it now. I want an end to Ut one way or anothers. I haven't replied. This was your advice last time Tara OK: This is what you text him: "Please stop contacting me, unless it's to say you want to make a really good go of our relationship. Don't text me, don't call me pet names, don't phone, don't write. Leave me alone, completely, unless and until you know I am the right person for you, bar none, and you believe you are the right person for me. You're hurting me too much. if you want to stop hurting me - please respect me enough to leave me alone." Send it. PLEASE, PLEASE send it . This is the only way you'll save your sanity. Please. S-E-N-D I-T. still do that or just ignore him and continue.
sangel07 Posted January 1, 2013 Posted January 1, 2013 So had you sent him the text asking him to leave you alone? Or do you still have to do that? If you haven't already, I'd definitely do it. I did so a few weeks ago and it brought some relief. Now I'm crushed again because of NYE texts, but I deserve it since I asked for it (I specifically told him not to text ever again, except for the holidays)
TaraMaiden Posted January 1, 2013 Posted January 1, 2013 Ok got a non-specific generic happy new year text from him last night. I have been ill and am a but fragile. I was enjoying waiting for new year with my family when suddenly I was in floods of tears.... I can't stand this and I've had enough of it now. I want an end to Ut one way or anothers. I haven't replied. This was your advice last time Tara <Snip Quote> still do that or just ignore him and continue. You really need to ask?? SEND IT!!!!! Jesus kerrist, what does it take to get through to you, woman - ?!? Look - 1st January 2013.... Do you still want to be at this stage 1st January 2014 - ?? No?!? Hell, I really hope not!! Then Do IT!! Come on honey - you KNOW it makes complete sense!!
Author Amelie1980 Posted January 1, 2013 Author Posted January 1, 2013 You really need to ask?? SEND IT!!!!! Jesus kerrist, what does it take to get through to you, woman - ?!? Look - 1st January 2013.... Do you still want to be at this stage 1st January 2014 - ?? No?!? Hell, I really hope not!! Then Do IT!! Come on honey - you KNOW it makes complete sense!! Ha ha ok..... you sound like my mother Xx
TaraMaiden Posted January 1, 2013 Posted January 1, 2013 Well I very well could be. but I would never say to you that you should have treated him better. However, I will say that you could be handling this a whole lot better than you are. But you already know that..... ...Don't you.....?
Author Amelie1980 Posted January 1, 2013 Author Posted January 1, 2013 Well I very well could be. but I would never say to you that you should have treated him better. However, I will say that you could be handling this a whole lot better than you are. But you already know that..... ...Don't you.....? You don't know what I did though that caused this break thing.....it was bad and I am ashamed. I would be shocked to the core if he did it to me..... If I could PM to tell you I would but I don't have capability yet. you might see his side of it if I told you.
TaraMaiden Posted January 1, 2013 Posted January 1, 2013 Sweetheart, I already know - that is, I fully understand that there are always, but always 2 sides to everything. Even if you beat a fragment of gold so thinly that you can see through it - it still has 2 sides. I'm under no illusion that "It takes 2 to Tango". But I prefer to not judge, take the situation at face value, and just go with what I see - until I know more. But here's the thing: Even when I 'know more' - I don't judge. I've been on this planet too long to condemn a human being for human actions. Life's too short. PM me when you can - if you want to. 1
Author Amelie1980 Posted January 1, 2013 Author Posted January 1, 2013 Sweetheart, I already know - that is, I fully understand that there are always, but always 2 sides to everything. Even if you beat a fragment of gold so thinly that you can see through it - it still has 2 sides. I'm under no illusion that "It takes 2 to Tango". But I prefer to not judge, take the situation at face value, and just go with what I see - until I know more. But here's the thing: Even when I 'know more' - I don't judge. I've been on this planet too long to condemn a human being for human actions. Life's too short. PM me when you can - if you want to. I apologise from the bottom of.my.heart to.him and it.came.after a long.day at.work when my boss had a go at.me. it was nothing he hadn't already done to me much earlier. How long does it take to be able to pm?
TaraMaiden Posted January 1, 2013 Posted January 1, 2013 well, you've gone over the 100 posts mark, so you need a full month I think. I don't know what date you joined, but it can't be too long now.......
na49 Posted January 1, 2013 Posted January 1, 2013 Maybe you should block his number after you tell him to leave you alone. It may not be a horrible idea. I finally went through with telling my ex to leave me alone and followed it up by blocking her number. As much as it sucks to know I probably will NEVER hear from her, whenever I did hear from her I felt like you did. Miserable. I didn't want to feel miserable anymore. After you tell him to leave you alone, you'll still be on edge. "When will he stop leaving me alone?" "Is he ever going to reach out to me again?" "How long will he wait?" That's how I felt about it at least. I still feel that way. My phone was going off last night for New Years and I was still hoping one of the texts would be from my ex.
Author Amelie1980 Posted January 1, 2013 Author Posted January 1, 2013 well, you've gone over the 100 posts mark, so you need a full month I think. I don't know what date you joined, but it can't be too long now....... I joined on 13th........ Oh hell.....he called me to cancel a.date and I was disappointed and had a bad day and so all of my insecurity tumbled out of my mouth and I had a go at him for cancelling and for the relationship all being about him. He'd had an accident hence why he couldn't come out: I was half deaf with my ear infection already and didn't hear right. What I did deserved an apology and a talk......but he laid into me and tore my character apart and it was stupid stuff like film and music taste not matching. are we 12. So we had a loving relationship in which the chemistry was off the scale, we never stopped laughing, we were so close, went loads if places together and he seemingly shared my interests until he threw it in my face, very passionate too. thrown away for one fight a little jealousy in my part and film & music. Its so clear now, he was.depressed when he got out of hospital, I should have seen it coming.....and not thought of myself. I should have left him to it. He didn't have time to devote to a relationship.
Author Amelie1980 Posted January 1, 2013 Author Posted January 1, 2013 Maybe you should block his number after you tell him to leave you alone. It may not be a horrible idea. I finally went through with telling my ex to leave me alone and followed it up by blocking her number. As much as it sucks to know I probably will NEVER hear from her, whenever I did hear from her I felt like you did. Miserable. I didn't want to feel miserable anymore. After you tell him to leave you alone, you'll still be on edge. "When will he stop leaving me alone?" "Is he ever going to reach out to me again?" "How long will he wait?" That's how I felt about it at least. I still feel that way. My phone was going off last night for New Years and I was still hoping one of the texts would be from my ex. I can block calls on my phone nothing I can do about texts so it wouldn't work.
Author Amelie1980 Posted January 1, 2013 Author Posted January 1, 2013 Haven't sent yet....I think I'll just leave him alone. he's unlikely to contact me again. ********* that he is. Idk
na49 Posted January 1, 2013 Posted January 1, 2013 Why put it off? (well it's difficult, that's why) but if you want to tell him to leave you alone so that you can heal. You might as well do it. He won't text you again, if he just sent a generic happy new years text, he sent it to everyone. He definitely didn't intend for it to set you back, but it is. This isn't about him, it's about you.
sangel07 Posted January 1, 2013 Posted January 1, 2013 This isn't about him, it's about you. Very true. Even if he's not likely to contact you again (and btw, you never know. And you need to protect yourself), it will help you if you take a stand and take action to make sure he stays out of your life. If you start acting like this is what you really want, then eventually you'll want it cause you'll feel it's right for you.
TaraMaiden Posted January 1, 2013 Posted January 1, 2013 Haven't sent yet....I think I'll just leave him alone. he's unlikely to contact me again. ********* that he is. Idk Don't prevaricate. You know you HAVE to send it. It's logical, it's right and it's the answer. By NOT sending it, you leave the door open to simply being chewed up and spat out again. And obviously, that's the last thing you want. Isn't it? ....isn't it....? Hmmmm...... Maybe you're getting attached and addicted to the pain. Like you almost enjoy waiting for the next blow..... It shows, if nothing else, that you still have a pulse.....
Author Amelie1980 Posted January 1, 2013 Author Posted January 1, 2013 Certainly not addicted to the pain. want it to stop. no cure for a broken heart.
na49 Posted January 1, 2013 Posted January 1, 2013 No, there are ways to treat it though. You like the drama of all of this. I was in your shoes, but eventually it will get old. He'll text you again, you'll feel like crap. You'll post about it on here. Get the same advice. Not act. (I've done it myself ) Eventually you'll realize it is doing nothing to make you heal and you'll HAVE to tell him to stop.
sharsh Posted January 1, 2013 Posted January 1, 2013 Follow Tara's advice!! I was doing NC, and my ex wasn't. He would still text me a few times throughout the week, just to get no reply. Break NC, for one text/email/whatever just to let him know, you would appreciate it to not get ANY texts from him anymore! I did. It's helped me sooo much now. I don't think of him as much anymore. I don't wonder if that "text is from him".. I don't have those mini heartattacks anymore.
Author Amelie1980 Posted January 2, 2013 Author Posted January 2, 2013 Ok. Beginning to feel better. had a good day. chatted with friends etc. Will fo to yoga tomorrow. Am going to learn a new sport. buy some new clothes. maybe take music lessons....something fun. Allez Allez!!
Author Amelie1980 Posted January 6, 2013 Author Posted January 6, 2013 He called today.....said shouldn't have done the break ad its a nail in the coffin. He still loved me right up to very recently and he said he got depressed when his health went bad and he felt funny about everything including his work. he isn't really keen about his next wake of exams or getting a new job. He said his heart says yes but his head says no & he can't reconcile the two. he said he feels sick to his stomach at the thought of never seeing me again but at the moment his head is just messed up. he kept saying 'for the moment' he can't see a way forward it May change when he's better and has a job but he doesn't wanna keep me hanging. Possibility of meeting as friends & seeing what happens......f--k
Author Amelie1980 Posted January 6, 2013 Author Posted January 6, 2013 I was in bed half asleep in the morning.....just answered. Don't know
TaraMaiden Posted January 6, 2013 Posted January 6, 2013 Rule #101 - answer - hang up. Now your head's all phekked up again. You DO know that this - Possibility of meeting as friends & seeing what happens...... Is completely, totally utterly, emphatically and unequivocally OUT - OF - THE - QUESTION - ?!?
Author Amelie1980 Posted January 6, 2013 Author Posted January 6, 2013 Just got a long break up email. Reset feelings back to square one & start suicidal depression again
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