fitnclean Posted December 31, 2012 Posted December 31, 2012 So lately I've been reevaluating my relationship of 2.5 years as I don't feel I'm being treated with respect at times. I am also now on the "gold-digger" lookout. My business just scored big time and I'm careful who I tell because people already want stuff from me. I'm haven't shared the extent of my success with my girlfriend as I don't want her decisions to stay with me based on this -- especially with what I've seen lately. So my girlfriend's sister is in town and I offered to take them out to eat. We finish eating and realize we can only park for a minimum of two hours at the meter located a half a block away. Her sister offers to move the car so that we don't get a ticket. I replied that I would ask for the check. When the check comes, it is a completely screwed up. I tell her sister to just check the car to see if the parking enforcement put chalk on the tires and if so to just move the car "in and out" of the spot. After I let the waiter know about the mistakes on the check, my girlfriend says something like "we will go wait in the car and can just pick you up on the block outside". I was pretty shocked and just said "ok." My shocked turned in to being pissed when neither even said thanks before walking away! (My girlfriend, then her sister, did say thanks about 2 minutes into the car ride home) I appreciate her sister's offer to move the car, but I sure felt like a douche bag that my girlfriend didn't stay with me and just wait for me to pay. Her sister is an adult and was the one that offered to move the car. Thoughts on this? I only ask because a couple weeks ago, her old friend of family was in town. She ranted how her brother was trying to dump this guy on her because the guy [10 years ago] was so boring and cheap. She wanted nothing to do with this guy. Well, turns out his business is successful now. Once he offered to pay the bills (talking $50+/plate), she never turned him down for dinner the entire week -- in fact, she invited him out to the restaurants of her choice just so he could pay. I see how she (and her brother) treated this family friend and it disgusts me. More so, I think about how I selected a very nice restaurant that fit all our dining palates because I don't eat seafood. She then had the nerve to say "What about XYZ Restaurant?" XYZ being a raw fish restaurant, costing twice as much, with one item on the menu that I eat. I said "no thanks but please look at the menu of my place as it should have something for us all", but in reality, why did I need to take her here when she just suckered her family friend into going here two weeks ago? Plus, I took her there a month ago and she knows they only have one thing for me. I am feeling a bit like I may be getting used already. Thoughts?
Radu Posted December 31, 2012 Posted December 31, 2012 That's one data point, and it involves a family friend, not her. The first thing [with the sister and her], just shows that she had other things on her mind ... could be the fact that she saw her sister or it could be she didn't care about you. If you are in the US, ask for prenup. If not, your business is and was before marriage, so technically she has no say in it ... do consult a lawyer or two on the subject though [divorce one especially]. And after that, just inform her ... and look out for stuff.
MoonSiren Posted December 31, 2012 Posted December 31, 2012 Maybe she went with her sister so they could both talk about you. Women do that sort of thing all the time. I do feel like she is a gold digger judging by how she treated the family friend. Start taking her to cheaper restaurants that you feel comfortable spending on and see how she reacts.
CarrieT Posted December 31, 2012 Posted December 31, 2012 You are zeroing in on ostensibly small incidents and blowing them up; restaurant choices and the fact that they went to get the car. Are you communicating anything to your GF about how these incidents make you feel? Because if you don't, she won't have a clue that you are pissed and it will only exacerbate the issue within you. 2
Author fitnclean Posted December 31, 2012 Author Posted December 31, 2012 You are zeroing in on ostensibly small incidents and blowing them up; restaurant choices and the fact that they went to get the car. Are you communicating anything to your GF about how these incidents make you feel? Because if you don't, she won't have a clue that you are pissed and it will only exacerbate the issue within you. I have told her about her friend and I didn't like what I was seeing. The restaurant selection stuff bugs me because I didn't mention that it was her that said I was to take her and her sister out. Her sister did my laundry as my girlfriend normally doesn't and I was suppose to "thank her sister."
musemaj11 Posted January 1, 2013 Posted January 1, 2013 I bet she is hot. If she were not you would have dumped her a long time ago. 1
Janesays Posted January 1, 2013 Posted January 1, 2013 Small potatoes. Gold diggers want diamonds and sports cars and trips to Europe every other month. Trust me, gold diggers have better things to do than deal with a guy who cries about paying for dinner. 4
carhill Posted January 1, 2013 Posted January 1, 2013 Welcome to LS To help with background, tell us about the last date your girlfriend of 2.5 years planned and paid for and how that went. Hoover behaviors have many levels. It takes some analysis to determine if her level is compatible with your psychology or not. This is better done *before* getting married, if that is a personal goal. Good luck.
musemaj11 Posted January 1, 2013 Posted January 1, 2013 (edited) Small potatoes. Gold diggers want diamonds and sports cars and trips to Europe every other month. Trust me, gold diggers have better things to do than deal with a guy who cries about paying for dinner. How does the amount of the gold dugged matter? Just because women want diamonds, sports cars, and trips to Europe, doesnt mean they all will get a guy who can actually give them those. Most of them dont have what it takes to land such a guy and must be content with getting no more than free dinners for example. What makes someone a user is the intention not the success level. The way this guy's gf treats the family friend shows that she does have it in her and she will take whatever she can take when the opportunity comes. Edited January 1, 2013 by musemaj11
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