BUBS Posted December 31, 2012 Posted December 31, 2012 NYE is just plain out depressing. I feel for everyone on the boards today that has been dealing with the loss of someone they loved like I am through this holiday season or that has had to deal with it before. I'm not sure what my plans are for tonight, friends are reaching out for mediocre parties and so forth, but I have a feeling I'll probably just pop a sleeping pill and go to bed far before that good ol' ball drops... I don't need to be tormented by thinking about the fun he's having by choice, who he is with and everything. Maybe it will signify good things if I bring in the New Year resting and asleep. NC is still hard, I find myself wanting to text him every day... sometimes I think I've thought of the absolute best thing to say to convince him I'm worthy of his love (though I don't go through with it because I have common sense and know that nothing will change his mind that I can be fully aware of) and sometimes I just want to say anything to him, even if its a comment on football, or letting him know that our favorite surf spot to sit and listen to music here in town was ruined from Hurricane Sandy. I really hope it gets better. I'm getting more numb but it brings about the pain of knowing that I'm becoming numb to something I absolutely did not want to. I've been struggling with sleep a lot this past week, my mind races to the point that my heart races. I am hopeful that all of this pain will bring about a much stronger woman... but I am fearful that all this pain will bring about a bitter un-trusting hollowed out shell of a person instead. Good luck to everyone, I hope that the new year will motivate all of us to look inward, focus on ourselves, create strength and dignity we never knew existed and look back on these people that hurt us and feel nothing but gratitude for the mental and physical push they gave us to finally plan our lives according to us, rather than with them. 2
Sari Posted December 31, 2012 Posted December 31, 2012 I know exactly how you are feeling. I couldn't get out of bed until 2pm today, just wanted the whole thing to go away. But I've decided to get dressed up and see one of my oldest friends who is also suffering from a broken heart, we are just gonna have a couple of drinks in her weird local old man pub, nothing manic. I refuse to sit in crying in my pyjamas while he's out off his head on drugs. Let him think he's won, I know I'm the better person and next year can only get better too. If you can muster the strength, stick your glad rags on, grit your teeth for a few hours and see some friends. You'll be able to look back and think "I did it!". Can be very empowering. Hugs x
Jasmine36 Posted December 31, 2012 Posted December 31, 2012 It is just so sad, I started 2012 with him and now I'm finishing it alone
Stanza Posted December 31, 2012 Posted December 31, 2012 Yes, am finding it harder than Christmas as we were always together doing our own thing.
SayonaraItsuka Posted January 1, 2013 Posted January 1, 2013 I feel the same way. Last year, I spent New Years Eve with her and my dad, talking and eating the night away. Today, I'm just reminded of that great day. :T
ItxWillxGetxBetter Posted January 1, 2013 Posted January 1, 2013 I agree New years is a little rougher than Xmas. I didn't expect it to be this hard but I guess it is what it is. I guess there's two ways to look at this. 1, we can dwell on the past and let that carry over into the new year or 2, we can focus on the future and start fresh. I chose the latter. It's 2013 and its time for a new start. To leave the old hurtful feelings behind and start fresh in a brand new year. It's time to focus on us and not let our ex's dictate and control our feelings and thoughts. It's time to start a new and take control of our lives and begin living life awaiting for the new relationships, excitements and adventures that await us. Its about venturing out in the unknown and experience new things. Learning to love the journey and the not the destination. I for one will take this challenge and begin to live the new year fresh! I hope everyone does the same.....Happy New year everyone! 1
newmoon Posted January 1, 2013 Posted January 1, 2013 It is just so sad, I started 2012 with him and now I'm finishing it alone my exact situation... we kissed for the first time last NYE and this morning he tells me no more contact until i return from my 15 day vacation... he wants a break. i want it too, but it hurts to be alone tonight. i have my two dogs though :-)
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