jamie1987 Posted December 31, 2012 Posted December 31, 2012 Really struggling to get over my ex who i have a child with and its been almost 10 months thought i was doing fine for a while then BAM feel it all coming back. I'm 25 years old have an anxiety disorder and suffer from bad depression. I'm having a hard time at the moment with my house and finances and stuff and really miss her as i have no one to talk to as most of my mates have moved away. We mainly broke up over the fact i had a few anger issues when i had a drink but was only verbal and i realise what i have done for the past 9 months witch has added to my depression. I think she hates me but puts on a brave face when she drops my child off to me, i know her family hate me just wish i could go back. I've did allot of silly things as well when she broke it off with me like sleep with lots of women to hopefully take the pain away but never does and also cause arguments between us when she is dropping our kid off to me witch resulted in us having to use a lawyer but the past few days we have been talking for the kids sake but i feel it all coming back to me like the first time i met her and how stunning she look i just want to tell her but feels wrong. Is it>? I'm so tempted to text her and say how i feel or maybe a letter as i just want her to know how i feel even tho i said allot of nasty things about her when she left me out of hurt. As i'm feeling really depressed about it today as its new year and don't know if i should and she would probs like to see that i'm suffering or that she would love to see that i have not moved on or i'm just being paranoid really need help on this
fieldsofgold84 Posted December 31, 2012 Posted December 31, 2012 jamie1987, you are right the new year is to blame for what you feel but I have a few friends who have kids with their ex es and their break up is much more consuming than those with no kids. I am not sure of the nature of your problem but if she's still single and open to discussion you can show her that you want to change. Honestly the correct answer would be try to get over your anger regardless of what you feel for her and do it for yourself and your child. If as a result of that you won her over, that's a bonus. Finally, you have a child with her, it is absolutely acceptable to give her a "friendly compliment". Cheers
TaraMaiden Posted December 31, 2012 Posted December 31, 2012 Are you in therapy and on any medication?
Author jamie1987 Posted December 31, 2012 Author Posted December 31, 2012 jamie1987, you are right the new year is to blame for what you feel but I have a few friends who have kids with their ex es and their break up is much more consuming than those with no kids. I am not sure of the nature of your problem but if she's still single and open to discussion you can show her that you want to change. Honestly the correct answer would be try to get over your anger regardless of what you feel for her and do it for yourself and your child. If as a result of that you won her over, that's a bonus. Finally, you have a child with her, it is absolutely acceptable to give her a "friendly compliment". Cheers That's the thing i don't know if she is even single and not really sure i want to as i'm scared to see her with someone else yeah i know that's sad but i can't help how i feel. Its like everyday for the past 10 months i've just got on with it but still thought about her 24/7. Yeah i know what your saying about the anger and stuff but i literally have no time to get help with work as i'm on thin ice with my work at the moment
Author jamie1987 Posted December 31, 2012 Author Posted December 31, 2012 Are you in therapy and on any medication? Yeah im on 50mg of sertraline only started them on thursday as i was on prosac b4 that and they did not agree with me but im feeling the ones i'm on now are making me worse also
fieldsofgold84 Posted December 31, 2012 Posted December 31, 2012 That's the thing i don't know if she is even single and not really sure i want to as i'm scared to see her with someone else yeah i know that's sad but i can't help how i feel. Its like everyday for the past 10 months i've just got on with it but still thought about her 24/7. Yeah i know what your saying about the anger and stuff but i literally have no time to get help with work as i'm on thin ice with my work at the moment I know it can be difficult to get over people you constantly and you mentioned that your work does not help either. Nothing can replace professional help [if you feel you need it] but probably you can ask your friends to spend more time with you. You do not even need to discuss your feelings with them; just simply hang out with your friends and try to enjoy yourself with simple pleasures. The first step is to accept there is a problem and you already have which is very good. I would try to focus on other issues of my life and get over my anger ( I know, I know, I know it is more difficult than it sounds but it is the only thing that helps).
Author jamie1987 Posted December 31, 2012 Author Posted December 31, 2012 I know it can be difficult to get over people you constantly and you mentioned that your work does not help either. Nothing can replace professional help [if you feel you need it] but probably you can ask your friends to spend more time with you. You do not even need to discuss your feelings with them; just simply hang out with your friends and try to enjoy yourself with simple pleasures. The first step is to accept there is a problem and you already have which is very good. I would try to focus on other issues of my life and get over my anger ( I know, I know, I know it is more difficult than it sounds but it is the only thing that helps). Yeah i know what your saying so do you think i should not let her know how i feel then
TaraMaiden Posted December 31, 2012 Posted December 31, 2012 No. No, no and no. Bad move. you're pouring your heart out. she sees a spineless loser. you need to man up and find some dignity. And talk to your doctor about better medication. They just fling stuff at you that makes them money, not that's best for you.
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