newmomma11613 Posted December 31, 2012 Posted December 31, 2012 Basically my ex fiance and I got into a huge fight.before I start I'll give you some details about him. He is a good guy. Although it did take a while to get us to the point where he goes to work comes straight home. Any friends he hangs out with come to our house. I am on bed rest due to the baby's weight being low. Nothing else wrong perfectly health just the weight. And he doesn't message females on his Facebook at all. He did in the past and completely stopped. We have a house together dogs this is our 1st baby a little boy and we are both 22. He is the only one in his family that is successful. And graduated high school and can hold down a job. The rest of his cousins and family don't want to anything with himself. His mother treats him different because of that. She doesn't wwork either and his father rather take care of other people and is in and out of jail. My ex is good. No criminal record or anything and is a good guy. The argument was about a female who had dated his cousin in the past. Who also had sex with his cousin's best friend. They hung out one day and insisted to tell my man what she does in the bedroom in detail. So naturally I didn't want him around her because she obviously is a female with no morals. Women who are strictly friend with no ulterior motives do not do that. Back to the point so a couple months ago she called my house late at night twice looking for my man. And the next day called at 8 am while we were sleeping. So of course being pregnant and pissed off because I know this isn't normal friend behavior told him off. She didnt call for two months up until 4 days ago when I was at a doctors appointment. Then next day my ex stated he was going over there to get his hair done, he has long hair so he keeps it braided. I asked why couldn't she just come to our house to do it. His excuse was because she just had a baby 2 ,months ago so the baby may be allergic to our dogs, I said thats understandable. Then I asked well let me go there with you then to see for myself that she is just a friend. He made an excuse saying she may not be comfortable with me at her house. I got really upset because then he told me he invited her to our baby shower which is the very next day from this arguement. I yelled and said she isnt coming i dont kmoe her and she doesnt have anything to do with our child just close friends and family. So we began to argue about him not going over there to get his hair done so bad that it turned basically physical. After that he left after our physical altercation. And left. He hasn't come home since that day. I apologized because he told me to drop the fight that day and I didn't because I was so upset and full of hormones. So yes it is my fault it went that far but he definitely crossed the line putting his hands on me which he never ever did before. So I messaged him on face book for the past 2 days after that. And saw that he has read my messages and still isn't responding. But I have access to his face book and is seeing that since the break up he started messaging a ridiculously amount of women. I believe he is doing it on purpose because he knows I can see him doing it. He even went so far to message women he had cut off who purposely tried to ruin our relationship. Which was today. Which is why I deleted him from being a friend on my page. Its too hurtful. I wanted to try to NC rule but I don't know how considering we are having a baby in 3 weeks. I told myself If he doesn't come back before I'm in labor its over for good and he will have no parts of me or the baby. But if he does I definitely want him to delete his Facebook and he has to get std tested because of him hanging with all these women. And do right by us. I don't even know what to day in either scenario. First is if hr comes back, second is if he doesn't come back, and third is if he tries to come back after our baby is born....I love this man I desperately need guidelines on how to do this from both men and women stand point. I do Want him back. Please help me.
movingon12 Posted December 31, 2012 Posted December 31, 2012 I'm so sorry. Physical fights is not acceptable. Ever. And ABSOLUTELY not with a woman who's 9 months pregnant. Leaving you alone in the house and refusing to contact you when you're 3 weeks away from giving birth and on bed rest is not acceptable. Messaging other women knowing you'll see what he's up to is not acceptable, particularly when you're in such a vulnerable state. It sounds like he's been missing for 2 days now? That is more than long enough to calm down, realise what he's done and try to reconcile. I'm very sorry but you're going to need to make plans to raise this baby alone. This man is not going to be a good husband or a good father if he responds like this when he doesn't get what he wants - ESPECIALLY given the situation you are currently in. You need to arrange for friend/family member to start coming round to help you with food/preparing for the baby, or move in with someone else who can be around to help you. If he gets in contact I would pass him on to someone else who can talk to him about practical birth certificate issues, otherwise, unless and until he can show he's made some SERIOUS attempts to deal with his issues (by which I mean signing up for and attending counselling) don't let him near you or the baby. 1
Sugarkane Posted December 31, 2012 Posted December 31, 2012 Maybe you need to re read your post because this doesn't describe a "good guy". He sounds really heartless. 1
TaraMaiden Posted December 31, 2012 Posted December 31, 2012 (edited) The huge block of text does nothing to dissuade me from advising you to absolutely kick this guy to the kerb and be rid of him/ Putting your hands on someone else, is absolutely unforgivable and unacceptable, no matter what the provocation. it's a complete no-no. In this particular case, you should charge him with assault. Disgusting. You really need to work on this "I want him back" schytt because actually, that's the last thing you need. Edited December 31, 2012 by TaraMaiden 1
Sugarkane Posted December 31, 2012 Posted December 31, 2012 Why do guys get someone pregnant and then leave her high and dry? This guy doesnt deserve to be a parent. Digusting. I wouldn't touch this guy with a ten foot pole.
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