crashvector Posted December 31, 2012 Posted December 31, 2012 It hasnt even been 72 hours, and all the girls I was friends with until I moved up here are already hitting on me One asked me on a date to go see "Django Unchained" with her...whatever that is. do they not understand I am HURTING?! don't they see that I still want my fiance and how much my heart is still aching for her? Or am I just being stupid?? I guess I just dont understand WHY 5 or 6 women would start hitting on me RIGHT after the woman I loved for the last 5 years broke my heart. Honestly, its making me feel even worse...I just want my angel back
Pinky777 Posted December 31, 2012 Posted December 31, 2012 Are you sure that's what they're doing? If they're truly your friends they may just be trying to help you, get you out of the house to forget about your ex, etc. A movie with a friend of the opposite sex does not necessarily equal a date. Have they ever shown interest before? I know I like to be a "caretaker" and try to make a friend who is hurting feel better. 2
MyAngel Posted December 31, 2012 Posted December 31, 2012 Maybe they are just being a friend to you in your time of need. Or maybe they are keen. Keep the good ones in mind when you are healed and ready to move on to better things and people who will appreciate the awesome guy you are
Mr.White Posted December 31, 2012 Posted December 31, 2012 I think they are just trying to help you get your mind off of things for a little. They know you are hurting so they are offering to go out with you and help ease your mind from your loss. My friends were like that as well (though I lsot all my friends that were girls due to my ex) and every time I asked them to hang out they dropped what they were doing and agreed. True friends are there for you in times of need.
Author crashvector Posted December 31, 2012 Author Posted December 31, 2012 Are you sure that's what they're doing? If they're truly your friends they may just be trying to help you, get you out of the house to forget about your ex, etc. A movie with a friend of the opposite sex does not necessarily equal a date. Have they ever shown interest before? I know I like to be a "caretaker" and try to make a friend who is hurting feel better. only one of them is one of my true friends...the others are just ppl I know.. she said she wanted to know if I would be interested in going on a date with her. I just started crying because I just want my fiance....
Author crashvector Posted December 31, 2012 Author Posted December 31, 2012 I think they are just trying to help you get your mind off of things for a little. They know you are hurting so they are offering to go out with you and help ease your mind from your loss. My friends were like that as well (though I lsot all my friends that were girls due to my ex) and every time I asked them to hang out they dropped what they were doing and agreed. True friends are there for you in times of need. Wow...now I feel bad for being upset about it. If that's really what it is...then its really sweet of them. I guess I'm just SO raw that even being around another woman right now would be too much and make me feel like i was doing something wrong...even if it IS just a movie with a friend to help me get my mind off things.
Author crashvector Posted December 31, 2012 Author Posted December 31, 2012 Maybe they are just being a friend to you in your time of need. Or maybe they are keen. Keep the good ones in mind when you are healed and ready to move on to better things and people who will appreciate the awesome guy you are that's awfully nice of you. I wont be ready to even TRY to move on for quite a long time...
Pinky777 Posted December 31, 2012 Posted December 31, 2012 It's a bit weird that she would say it like that, maybe she was joking a bit. You know her better than we do of course. If you still feel comfortable around her, I'd still take her up on her offer because getting out of the house would be good for you; let her know that you could really use a friend. Maybe suggest going in a group to drive that point home. If you're not ready yet, maybe you need a bit more time, but please be careful with that, it's too easy to withdraw completely into an abyss without friends there to help pull you out of it.
na49 Posted December 31, 2012 Posted December 31, 2012 That's fine. It takes different time for all of us. Your situation, it's pretty normal for it to take a while. Maybe even more than a while. You haven't really finished grieving yet, until you're done with that. You can never truly move on. I'd suggest going out to the movies. It's not guaranteed to help you, considering how heartbroken you are. But who knows? Maybe you have fun for an hour and escape the reality you're living. It's worth a shot if you ask me. 1
NYC-BigKat Posted December 31, 2012 Posted December 31, 2012 It hasnt even been 72 hours, and all the girls I was friends with until I moved up here are already hitting on me One asked me on a date to go see "Django Unchained" with her...whatever that is. do they not understand I am HURTING?! don't they see that I still want my fiance and how much my heart is still aching for her? Or am I just being stupid?? I guess I just dont understand WHY 5 or 6 women would start hitting on me RIGHT after the woman I loved for the last 5 years broke my heart. Honestly, its making me feel even worse...I just want my angel back Boo-hoo 'cause all the girls actually like u . 3
Nightsky Posted December 31, 2012 Posted December 31, 2012 They probably saw your facebook status change and feel sorry for you because it's the holidays.
Mr.White Posted December 31, 2012 Posted December 31, 2012 Be careful because I developed secret feelings for the first girl I talked to after my break up (a friend of a friend) because we had a great conversation all night long and I was wowed by the connection and depth I felt but I now only see her as a friend and it really helped me get my mind off of my ex at that time. Good thing I never told anyone how I had feelings for her! XD You might need a bit more time but possibly responding to your friends saying you will take them up on their offer but at a later possible date because you are not feeling well. (Don't go into detail of why you aren't feeling well and they should respect your wish and offer to hang out another time) Going out is good, it helps your mind forget about everything and puts it at ease. I went out with friends today to shop for a trip and I totally forgot about my ex for a good hour at least. Feeling good about it
Author crashvector Posted December 31, 2012 Author Posted December 31, 2012 Boo-hoo 'cause all the girls actually like u . Im sorry if that is how you took what i said... It genuinely hurt me....I have no ego to protect here...I'm completely broken. all I can think about is my sweeheart is gone
Author crashvector Posted December 31, 2012 Author Posted December 31, 2012 Be careful because I developed secret feelings for the first girl I talked to after my break up (a friend of a friend) because we had a great conversation all night long and I was wowed by the connection and depth I felt but I now only see her as a friend and it really helped me get my mind off of my ex at that time. Good thing I never told anyone how I had feelings for her! XD You might need a bit more time but possibly responding to your friends saying you will take them up on their offer but at a later possible date because you are not feeling well. (Don't go into detail of why you aren't feeling well and they should respect your wish and offer to hang out another time) Going out is good, it helps your mind forget about everything and puts it at ease. I went out with friends today to shop for a trip and I totally forgot about my ex for a good hour at least. Feeling good about it the one girl who has been my friend since kindergarden said she just wants to help me because she can hear how bad I am hurting and doesn't want me to be alone on New Year's. So I accepted. these are people from my hometown...5 hours away. I hope I dont go to the movies and start bawling in the middle of the movie.
Simon Phoenix Posted December 31, 2012 Posted December 31, 2012 Take it as a compliment. It shows you are in demand. You obviously aren't ready to get back out there, but at least you seem to have options when you are. It's not something you should be angry about, if anything, take it as an ego boost. You need one after what you've been through. 1
LostOne1 Posted December 31, 2012 Posted December 31, 2012 That's fine. It takes different time for all of us. Your situation, it's pretty normal for it to take a while. Maybe even more than a while. You haven't really finished grieving yet, until you're done with that. You can never truly move on. I'd suggest going out to the movies. It's not guaranteed to help you, considering how heartbroken you are. But who knows? Maybe you have fun for an hour and escape the reality you're living. It's worth a shot if you ask me. I agree.. going out helped me and talking to people DEF helped me feel better for a bit.
FailedFirstLove Posted December 31, 2012 Posted December 31, 2012 (edited) It's probably a nice gesture. And I think movies help for an hour or two you get to be in someone else's life. Another world. Away from ur own that's full of pain. It also helps just sitting there talking to someone or abit. U get another perspective that could help you see why this decision maybe considered the best way out. Edited December 31, 2012 by FailedFirstLove
Author crashvector Posted December 31, 2012 Author Posted December 31, 2012 Take it as a compliment. It shows you are in demand. You obviously aren't ready to get back out there, but at least you seem to have options when you are. It's not something you should be angry about, if anything, take it as an ego boost. You need one after what you've been through. I appreciate the compliment, so don't think I'm being mean to you or anything, but I dont WANT to be in demand. I LIKED belonging to someone who loved me. Not that I have BELONG belong to someone..but I think you know what I mean. Besides, its a perspective thing. My hometown isn't exactly full of opportunities. sure, there's women...but honestly, tend to prefer older women who have a life and a career are a degree. It's a small town, with typical small town mess. People dont seem to want MORE there, and I've always been the kind of person that constantly seeks to be BETTER than i am right now. I have plans for the future, and DEFINITELY know what I want in a partner and companion...and my fiance was EXACTLY what I was looking for. at any rate...I'm barely able to make it 10 minutes without bursting into tears at this point (its progress...at least I'm not crying 22 hours out of the day now....just 12 or 14) much less thinking about the "future". Hard to care too much about the future when I'm so heartbroken and my heart is still aching for the recent past.
Divasu Posted January 1, 2013 Posted January 1, 2013 Years ago when my LTR ended, it took me a solid year before I was open to dating. Instead, I spent lots of time with friends, going out and just enjoying being single. There was a guy who I've know for years, who flirted heavily with me during that year but I still wasn't open to anything. He essentially got me over 'the hump' and that's when I started slowly going out on dates here and there. That situation worked out perfectly, because he wasn't 'relationship' oriented and we both agreed that it was just a rebound thing. Once you start finding yourself attracted to other women, that will be signs that you're healing and moving on. Your heart may still not be 'in it', but eventually it will with someone. Give yourself time though to heal.
FailedFirstLove Posted January 1, 2013 Posted January 1, 2013 I appreciate the compliment, so don't think I'm being mean to you or anything, but I dont WANT to be in demand. I LIKED belonging to someone who loved me. Not that I have BELONG belong to someone..but I think you know what I mean. Besides, its a perspective thing. My hometown isn't exactly full of opportunities. sure, there's women...but honestly, tend to prefer older women who have a life and a career are a degree. It's a small town, with typical small town mess. People dont seem to want MORE there, and I've always been the kind of person that constantly seeks to be BETTER than i am right now. I have plans for the future, and DEFINITELY know what I want in a partner and companion...and my fiance was EXACTLY what I was looking for. at any rate...I'm barely able to make it 10 minutes without bursting into tears at this point (its progress...at least I'm not crying 22 hours out of the day now....just 12 or 14) much less thinking about the "future". Hard to care too much about the future when I'm so heartbroken and my heart is still aching for the recent past. What does ur son do wen he sees you crying for that long? it must hurt him as well and I know it's so hard to keep the tears away. It will get better and I think ur making progress since ur going through abit of anger now. And at the very least u accepted that she's gone right up... I can't even accept his gone yet I keep holding onto a strand of hope
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