ReinaMab Posted December 31, 2012 Posted December 31, 2012 hi there, i've come to this forum for a little advice.. I've been married for almost three years to a lovely australian man whom I adore. Everything is quite perfect in our relationship except for the fact that the sex has declined terribly in the last year or so and i'm getting worried. I'm latinamerican born, and I've always been really open about sex, my body, and exploring new pleasures. My husband is a bit more passive, and although this dynamic worked well at first, I now find that i'm less and less attracted to having sex with him, mostly because I haven't been able to climax in more than a year. The times that I have brought up this issue he gets tense and says that he feels i don't enjoy his touch, so he just lays in bed and I'm the one taking control of things. (which i love! but it got to a point where i'm just plain bored) We've talked about this a few times, always without a real outcome. We've tried more foreplay, toys, massages, but the truth is it feels very 'fabricated' and i can't sense any passion in what we do, his touch is not a sensual touch, i've tried to show him how to french kiss but he just sticks his tongue out...and that doesn't do it for me...i guess the main problem is that he's trying hard to please me but it doesn't really come from within him naturally, and as a result i feel it's all staged and i don't enjoy a minute of it. On top of that he's not keeping in great shape, and although I've invited him to join me at the gym (and he has), he still looks much older that his age (just turned 30) and I don't want to be a shallow bitch but to be honest, I'm a visual creature and a reasonably toned physique helps a lot. I exercise a lot and I try to dress nicely and stay fit for him (as well as for myself). I dress sexy around the house, caress him, kiss him, I try to be always smooth and ready to be touched and loved... Something is missing and it kills me that this is deteriorating our relationship. It just doesn't flow. I know married sex takes work but I feel the fact i'm not climaxing is affecting my health and i don't know if I can take this for the rest of my life. I feel like he enjoys receiving oral sex more that actually making love to me. The only time i can climax is when i touch myself and fantasise about being with several men. I always end up crying afterwards and i'm doing it less and less because it's so exhausting emotionally to realise i don't have this connexion with him. I'd love to hear your thoughts, and thanks for taking the time to read.
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