i am a prick

[frederickkk]

i keep giving her all these emails.

 

all it does is help her knowing im still there.

 

whilst she is acting like a dyckhead and knowing i am there at her beck and call.

 

this happened over the summer.

 

only i allow myself to let my head get messed up over this.

 

she has rejected me enough times.

 

but its the ****ing hardest thing to do, to let go.

 

she wont have processed this breakup yet.

 

she acted mature in the relationship.

 

now its reverted back to being her age. or whatever. i dont fkng know.

 

is it wrong to ask for an answer?

 

this is how it is playing out right now......i am emailing her....no response. she will read them. 100%. but never a reply.

 

i wont get my closure, until i hear from her. and when i do hear from her, she will be able to say there is someone else.

 

and that will be it.

 

and i will destroy everything she gave me, take a photo and send it to her in the post.

 

 

yep, im fkng angry.

[frederickkk]

i can get on a train tomorrow and go to her house.

 

its that easy.

 

 

but do i risk a load of bs on top of it? really? a possible restraining order.

 

 

anyone who has experience of these restraining orders. ****ing enlighten me. because i might just walk into one.

[Minadee]

Woah, woah, woah honey. Take a deep breath in and count to 8. Release. Repeat until you have calmed down.

 

Some people on here have stated that you are a troll, but i'm going to try and understand the very desperate place you are in right now. If it is any comfort, believe me you are not alone in this and there are millions out there who have it a lot worse.

 

Okay, so we've established this girl meant a lot to you. Put yourself in her shoes. She is single and enjoying life while you are wallowing in pity. I am not one to offer advice as I'm only very newly coming out of the wallowing stage, but alas, it is a stage we all have to go through and aslong as you focus on yourself throughout this stage, you WILL get through it!

 

She doesnt want some desperate man clinging on to any shred of hope he has with her. As far as i'm aware she hasn't even replied to anything you've said, so it's not like she's thrown you any breadcrumbs. She is probably sick to death of you contacting her. Enough is enough! What is it doing? How is it helping? If she wanted to be with you she would have told you LONG ago.

 

You need to put this to bed now, Fred. It is not healthy. It is obviously bothering her if you are talking about restraining orders. You need to stop. Now. Right now. Nothing you have said to her has worked before, so what makes you possibly think it's going to work now?!

 

Let her spread her wings and fly. If you love her, it's time to let her go.

[Minka333]

In life you are given choices.

 

You can choose to be a prick and be miserable. Go down the prick road. Live a prick life.

 

And yet, you can also choose to unprick yourself. End this unhealthy cycle. Pick up the pieces of your self worth. Quit riding the prick bus. And move on to the next stop. Go to a place where loving yourself is all that matters.

[geegirl]

Enough. Please. Quite Foolish gave you enough advice about his ordeals with the police. Your closure happened when she told you she didn't want to be with you and that she needed to move on. If she changed her number on you, she most likely blocked your email. You don't get notification when blocked. It goes into oblivion.

 

Her silence is your answer. Stop this madness.

 

If you want to go to her house, GO and quit talking about it every day.

[frederickkk]

this is how fked this situation is.

 

mature for a relationship.

 

super controlling in relationship.

 

sacks me off.

 

all her little mates prob encouraging her to be single blah blah.

 

family protecting her to stop her from having her ridiculous tantrums, trust me they were hell....screaming at me in shops, all sorts. just outrageous and embarrassing.

 

now she wants to be alone and single...............ive handled the breakup like a prick, but so the fk what? we are all a long time dead and i dont give up.

 

my email is the only link.

 

we were together for two years. i am no fking stalker.

[frederickkk]

the only option i have is to go hard no contact. for 6 months. then approach her again.

 

the hardest thing in the fking book, and you know, i will struggle every day to keep my head above water....im pretty sure i have some form or other of BPD because im very low at the moment, and im scared of going deeper.

 

i will have to keep busy every single day to stay afloat.

[frederickkk]

this girl was fking hard work.

 

the amount of sht i put up with.

[Minadee]

Okay... this negativity is somewhat moving forward a little.. baby steps I guess!

 

Fred, write this down somewhere you can see it. I know you are saying this out of hurt and anger right now but if you keep reminding yourself of the negative side of your relationship it will help kick this girl off this pedestal you have built up for her. You need to do this because the way you speak about her, never mind a damn stool, honey you got a shrine for this chick!

 

You said it yourself, she was hard work. Now it's time to let her go. Don't start NC with the goal of talking to her after X amount of months. It wont help you heal. Initiate NC For YOURSELF. So that you can finally begin the process of coming to terms with this breakup. For now, it is OVER. And no crying, begging, suprising her, gifts or emails wil change this. So stop it, you are just destroying yourself.

[frederickkk]

i can quite honestly say, i wasnt the one with the problems in this relationship.

 

after talking to a mutual friend this evening, it is clear she will be problematic to whoever she marries.

[frederickkk]

and this is why i hold hope. because she has the issues, not me.

[Minadee]

Why do you want her so badly when she treats you like this?

 

Wherever she is and whatever she is doing, she is happy at this point in time. If you ever loved her, respect this and let her live her life. You need to do the same.

[frederickkk]

i just dont understand why she cant remember the happy parts to our relationship, particularly at her home, and we cant go back to that?

 

does she not miss that?

 

does she not miss the fact i was in her bed every night?

 

she is the most complicated fkucing woman in the world. she aint the type to sleep around.

[frederickkk]

where i live certainly isnt doing any favours.

 

i need to get out of here, with all my gear. but that really is leaving her behind.

[frederickkk]

lets be realistic here.

 

if i employ no contact for 6 months. and i try again.

 

where are we going to be?

 

my goal is to get her back.

[TerpVet87]

If you go no contact for six months and then contact her you're gonna be right back to where you are now because she won't respond.

 

You said she had problems and threw tantrums. Go find a girl that doesn't do that. Find a girl that wants to talk to you. Your ex is someone else's problem now.

[Sugarkane]

Why not find someone more mature?

[mammasita]

Dude let it go. Did you completely ignore everything from your thread yesterday?

 

****. I would hate to know you in real life right now. Think of how your ex feels.

[frederickkk]

this is the problem. she acted mature, yet was so immature at the same time.

 

she is a bit bonkers.

 

if we ever get back together, i will put a photo up.

 

i can tell you one thing, when she sees me in the summer , i will be ripped. i was a chunker when she met me.

[mammasita]

this is the problem. she acted mature, yet was so immature at the same time.

 

she is a bit bonkers.

 

if we ever get back together, i will put a photo up.

 

i can tell you one thing, when she sees me in the summer , i will be ripped. i was a chunker when she met me.

 

who ****ing cares??

 

she doesnt want you. what dont you understand? youre seriously living in LALA land.

[dreamingoftigers]

Fred, buddy,

 

She might have 19000 issues.

 

I guarantee you that you have at least a fistful of them AND yours are going to destroy you.

 

You seriously cannot even remotely fathom having a relationship or reconciliation with this girl until you work this **** out.

 

Because even if you do get back together, at this point it will be in an extremely unhealthy way and for unhealthy reasons.

 

You seem to NEED validation from this girl. Desperately. Unendingly. Obsessively.

 

I get it man. I've been where you are. I really have. And the only thing that fuels it is deciding not to give up. BUT you've hitched your wagon to the wrong star.

 

We get these ideas that true live means walking to the moon for a partner who says they want a moonbeam in a jar and to never ask for anything in return but that somewhere, deep down, they love us.

 

But what if they don't. And what if you are doing isn't love for love's sake. What if what you are doing is destructive to you both?

 

You must know that this is. You must feel it deep inside that you've got the wrong one and that she doesn't truly appreciate your loyalty at all. And it isn't from lack of maturity. It's because she sees something completely different than what you do. She sees your brokenness and knows that a relationship isn't sustainable. She sees how easily conquered and cornered you are in this and that you won't give up. Clearly though: that isn't what she is looking for. Right now the obvious thing she is looking for is freedom from that. She doesn't want to be your princess trapped in your tower of love and loyalty.

 

I'm pretty sure you don't want to trap her or be trapped by someone that doesn't want you. You want to actually get the girl, not spend life longing for her.

 

Your princess is out there still, waiting for you.... And right now you can't see it because you are throwing yourself into a self-sacrificial pit.

 

Ignoring the possibility of having true love for the choice of having lonely flagellation.

 

Risking jail instead of finding that very real person who could and would love you, despite pain and obstacles, who wouldn't treat you like a disposable shoe.

 

And you, my friend, are actually depriving that person of the love and affection you could be giving them because YOU WANT TO PROVE THAT YOU CAN GET HER BACK.

 

Well, yay, even if you do, you'll hate her for how she shunned you and all of the lost time. The world's most hollow victory.

 

It's not a war worth fighting. Go find one that is.

 

By the way, get some independent counseling to check up on compulsive behaviors while you are at it.

[spaniard]

Oh, freddie boy. Do you think if you have 6-pack then your ex gf will magically fall in love with you? Yeah, yeah, girls love physically strong men, that's true. Our society hasn't really changed in the past 398271893129987 years. But if you think that a girl will fall in love with you just because your body fat is around ~8%, you are wrong. Actually, if you are too obsessed with this, it will just push them away.

 

You won't get your ex back with working out, geez. Forget that BS right now.

[Sugarkane]

Quite frankly you shouldn't want her back. She was a user and stringing you along. She was a mean, manipulative liar and new you would fall for her BS. Using someone isn't love. She sounds like a complete Ahole and very ugly on the inside.

[frederickkk]

and how do i confront her about all of this?

[Mcnulty]

"She has the issues not me"

 

Really??? You believe that projective comment???

 

The domino effect....you and her need to be together, you know why? Because god help a guy or girl either of you get with in the future...more miserabledom for mopre people...hence, the domino effect!