shame_on_me Posted December 30, 2012 Posted December 30, 2012 Well well well, most of you did say I would succumb to my girl, you were right i could not stay away from her, we were at the christmas town party, my wife left early as we had babysitter and by this point she said i was too pished so i may as well stay out. The reason i was too pished was because "she" was there too without her husband looking like a god damned angel i couldnt keep my eyes of her, my wife noticed this too and jested "you wish old man" and laughed. Long story short i tried to get her attention all night, she wasnt having it so i followed her out the door and just kissed her where anyone could of seen us, she responded and kissed me back .... then slapped my face called me a few obscene names, and ran away crying. I felt bloody awful. I went back into the party where my and my wifes friends were still having a good time and quite frankly got stinking drunk to the point where i could hardly walk and fell down the stairs got carried home and woke up in the garage with a very sore head and a very angry wife hovering over me. Suffice to say she has not spoken to me much since
waterwoman Posted December 30, 2012 Posted December 30, 2012 way to go! oh dear. Its not the first time I''ve said this but really, your poor wife:( I cannot imagine how ssecond-rate, rejected, worthless and unwanted she will feel when she finds out. and she will find out if you pull too many stunts like that. 3
AbeNormal Posted December 30, 2012 Posted December 30, 2012 Congratulations!! With your "last minute" entry, you have won the tool of the year award... 12
bentnotbroken Posted December 30, 2012 Posted December 30, 2012 Well well well, most of you did say I would succumb to my girl, you were right i could not stay away from her, we were at the christmas town party, my wife left early as we had babysitter and by this point she said i was too pished so i may as well stay out. The reason i was too pished was because "she" was there too without her husband looking like a god damned angel i couldnt keep my eyes of her, my wife noticed this too and jested "you wish old man" and laughed. Long story short i tried to get her attention all night, she wasnt having it so i followed her out the door and just kissed her where anyone could of seen us, she responded and kissed me back .... then slapped my face called me a few obscene names, and ran away crying. I felt bloody awful. I went back into the party where my and my wifes friends were still having a good time and quite frankly got stinking drunk to the point where i could hardly walk and fell down the stairs got carried home and woke up in the garage with a very sore head and a very angry wife hovering over me. Suffice to say she has not spoken to me much since You didn't succumb to anyone but your own selfish desires. You..you...you. Couldn't leave her alone and let her be. You are something. 3
Author shame_on_me Posted December 30, 2012 Author Posted December 30, 2012 Lets not waste anymore time on this cheater. A half dozen threads, pages and pages long and we waste our breath. I agree with u, and I also agree that i now have to tell my wife everything, I can't handle these emotions any longer I want ow out my head my thoughts are driving me crazy Yes it's all me me me I wouldn't be in this mess if it wasn't
ComingInHot Posted December 31, 2012 Posted December 31, 2012 kaaaarrrrrrrrmmmmmaaaaaaa... And it's Just beginning...* You should know that you may have boinked the "hot neighbor" but as a "man", your type is the one we all make fun of when you're not looking... sorry but it's true. People can smell that kind of stink from a mile away. Save the few who are actually sniffin out that stench. Ya, pretty sure my comment's going to disappear in a few but I'm feeling a bit fiesty tonight. Not in the mood for any more "poor me, what about me, me first, but I don't wanna change" blah blah blah from GROWN adults!! I'm giving myself a ten minute penalty and apologize for my irritability. (Just not enough to delete this post myself) 2
HonestNeurotic Posted December 31, 2012 Posted December 31, 2012 Dude. You need to own this. You made the choices you did. It's not about the cha cha. It's about YOU. The easiest way to solve a problem - is to deny that it exists. 1
ThatJustHappened Posted December 31, 2012 Posted December 31, 2012 She should have kicked you in the nuts instead.
amaysngrace Posted December 31, 2012 Posted December 31, 2012 I hope your wife finds a man to be with in the New Year. She's probably longing to be in the arms of a man. 2
seren Posted December 31, 2012 Posted December 31, 2012 Shame, it seems like the chicken's are coming home to roost, I would say that you need to make a decision, but it seems like the girl and the woman in your life have made that for you. 'Your girl' who is still someone else's girl, sounds like she has had enough of playing second fiddle while you stay married, yet look to her when you have had a few. Not very nice for her and for your wife to know that she has been humiliated in front of her friends as well as being cheated on, in such an open way, is, frankly so disprespectful. It might be that you find yourself with no one, which might give you the opportunity to think outside the box that is you and how your actions have impacted upon everyone. You once said you live in a small town, well, if the OW's husband finds out, both she and you will have some explaining to do to him also. Time to have a good, long, hard look at how things are and face up to it all. 1
dreamingoftigers Posted December 31, 2012 Posted December 31, 2012 Whoa whoa whoa folks, this isn't something to celebrate or kick a dude when he's down.... Dude's coming apart here. SOM, have you sought some counseling to figure any of this out yet? 2
BetrayedH Posted December 31, 2012 Posted December 31, 2012 I agree with u, and I also agree that i now have to tell my wife everything, I can't handle these emotions any longer I want ow out my head my thoughts are driving me crazy Yes it's all me me me I wouldn't be in this mess if it wasn't What are you going to do, Shame?
whichwayisup Posted December 31, 2012 Posted December 31, 2012 I agree with u, and I also agree that i now have to tell my wife everything, I can't handle these emotions any longer I want ow out my head my thoughts are driving me crazy Yes it's all me me me I wouldn't be in this mess if it wasn't Sweetie, I was just gonna suggest this. Time for you to confess. Now it's only a matter of time before someone else tells your wife or she figures it out on her own. I know you got A LOT of harsh and tough advice but now do you see that all that everybody said played out as some said it would? you were so adament about staying in NC, that it was over. Far from it. Even now, your exMW is around..This is not over even though she slapped you. Only way out is to confess. Either your wife will forgive you if you truly are ready to work with her to save the marriage or it'll end and you'll divorce. Right now, how things are, it sucks and it isn't working..It's killing you on ALL levels. Confess asap. It's time. PM me if you need to (not sure if you have PM capabilities yet) 1
Mr. Lucky Posted December 31, 2012 Posted December 31, 2012 The reason i was too pished was because "she" was there too without her husband looking like a god damned angel i couldnt keep my eyes of her If you were serious about breaking it off, you wouldn't have been at this party or any other where she was going to be. No contact means no contact... Mr. Lucky 2
waterwoman Posted December 31, 2012 Posted December 31, 2012 Glad you are going to tell her. It ain't going to be pretty but at least it'll be honest. Good luck 1
Author shame_on_me Posted December 31, 2012 Author Posted December 31, 2012 Hi, Yes I start counselling next week when I start back at work. I still don't want to confess to my wife I really don't want to hurt her this way, but I have also realised that I need to do something now because the ow will not leave my head and I still won't leave my family for her. Yep call me every name you can think of, I deserve it but I can't help loving this woman and just can't keep away from her. My sex life was dead before I met her and I do not want to go back to this, I know what u are going to say but I also know my wife.
woinlove Posted December 31, 2012 Posted December 31, 2012 shame, you received a lot of advice on your earlier thread, but you felt confident of your own plan - to focus on your family over Christmas. How'd that work out for you? Maybe, time to go back and read some of the advice, if you don't think your own plan worked all that well. I recall you were worried about people in your small community knowing. Well, seems like you can stop worrying about that and just face reality. Maybe let your wife face reality too, rather than having her be the last to know about something that so intimately affects her own life. 4
BetrayedH Posted December 31, 2012 Posted December 31, 2012 (edited) Hi, Yes I start counselling next week when I start back at work. I still don't want to confess to my wife I really don't want to hurt her this way, but I have also realised that I need to do something now because the ow will not leave my head and I still won't leave my family for her. Yep call me every name you can think of, I deserve it but I can't help loving this woman and just can't keep away from her. My sex life was dead before I met her and I do not want to go back to this, I know what u are going to say but I also know my wife. So, is this "something" going to involve going full-on after your OW now? Seems to be what you are saying here. If so, are you going to continue to keep your wife in the dark and as your back-up plan? Is your OW going to accept going back into affair mode with you? I got the impression that she might be reluctant. Or are you going to leave your wife and never tell her the real reason why you left? Again, what is your plan beyond "something?" Perhaps you haven't thought this through, which doesn't seem wise since it hasn't worked out so well for you in the past. Edited December 31, 2012 by BetrayedH
ThatJustHappened Posted December 31, 2012 Posted December 31, 2012 Hi, Yes I start counselling next week when I start back at work. I still don't want to confess to my wife I really don't want to hurt her this way, but I have also realised that I need to do something now because the ow will not leave my head and I still won't leave my family for her. Yep call me every name you can think of, I deserve it but I can't help loving this woman and just can't keep away from her. My sex life was dead before I met her and I do not want to go back to this, I know what u are going to say but I also know my wife. So what way do you want to hurt her?
KathyM Posted December 31, 2012 Posted December 31, 2012 I suggest you tell your wife before someone else does. And then let the chips fall where they may. You have no right to keep this information from your wife and prevent her from knowing the truth about her husband and marriage. Just bite the bullet and be a man, rather than an irresponsible boy. 2
whichwayisup Posted December 31, 2012 Posted December 31, 2012 You know your wife and she knows you. But!! She probably never thought you'd cheat on her ..With that said, you don't know 100% how she is going to react. She might actually surprise you. Shame, you're scared of the fallout, the consquences etc, understandable, but that isn't a good enough reason NOT to tell her the truth. Don't let what you feel for exMW make you weak.
Mr. Lucky Posted December 31, 2012 Posted December 31, 2012 If so, are you going to continue to keep your wife in the dark and as your back-up plan? Really Shame, even in your fogged state of mind you can see how callously manipulative and evil this course of action is. And before you say it's not your intent, it certainly seems to be your MO to this point - don't tell your wife under the pretense of protecting her and continue this dance with your OW while you see how it plays out. All designed to get Shame what he wants, regardless of the cost to those around him, including those he professes to love and care about. But hey, at least you'll be happy. Because ending up with your "angel" and "soulmate" OW will solve all your problems. Right ??? Hmmmmm... Mr. Lucky
veryhappy Posted January 1, 2013 Posted January 1, 2013 Why were you trying to get her attention under the eyes of people who know you, including your wife? Assuming you were still sober at that time? You don't really want the M you so much cry you do, but you won't admit to it. Your W will find out, you'll go the reconciliation mode and that will be that. You just enjoy a little bit of drama in the process apparently.
Author shame_on_me Posted January 1, 2013 Author Posted January 1, 2013 Hi Yes I'm afraid I think I do know what I'm doing, I want my cake still and it's so hard to let it go. I can't really explain what I'm doing right now it's like I'm self destructing. I have only ever loved one woman my entire life and that is my wife and all of a sudden falling in love with another seems strange and I've lost all common sense. I am an average looking guy, getting on abit now, putting the weight on, going grey and not got much stamina left and all of a sudden this beautiful young thing is infatuated with me ? I can't handle this
KraftDinner Posted January 1, 2013 Posted January 1, 2013 Hi Yes I'm afraid I think I do know what I'm doing, I want my cake still and it's so hard to let it go. I can't really explain what I'm doing right now it's like I'm self destructing. I have only ever loved one woman my entire life and that is my wife and all of a sudden falling in love with another seems strange and I've lost all common sense. I am an average looking guy, getting on abit now, putting the weight on, going grey and not got much stamina left and all of a sudden this beautiful young thing is infatuated with me ? I can't handle this Sounds like an ego stroke. So if she were your age and average-looking, your wife wouldn't deserve to be cheated on, but somehow she does now because you're thinking with the wrong head? I feel so sorry for your wife. 1
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