Lolita_Sky Posted December 30, 2012 Posted December 30, 2012 To make a long story short we got into an argument that started with him assuming things about some thing I don't want to get into on here. Well I ended our friends w/benefits relationship because of it. We go almost a whole month without talking to each other or seeing each other. We share the same friends so this past Friday we got together with a few of our friends and he kept teasing/poking fun at me most of the night. I wouldn't even be talking to him and he'll butt in to either make a comment or to tease me. I saw him sneaking glances at me through out the night. What should I think of his behavior? Why is he going out of his way to be a jerk to me? I mean its been over a month ago since the incident. I'm totally over it now.
NoMagicBullet Posted December 31, 2012 Posted December 31, 2012 Sounds like he is trying to re-establish the "friends" so he can get some "benefits". Do you want that? The sex is all that really matters to these guys. Thing is, these guys nearly always make lousy friends for real, especially if there are no "benefits" be given. I'd say that's why he's acting like a jerk.
Author Lolita_Sky Posted December 31, 2012 Author Posted December 31, 2012 Sounds like he is trying to re-establish the "friends" so he can get some "benefits". Do you want that? The sex is all that really matters to these guys. Thing is, these guys nearly always make lousy friends for real, especially if there are no "benefits" be given. I'd say that's why he's acting like a jerk. No, I don't. He is a jerk and I honestly want nothing to do with him in regards to us being Friends with benefits . He is an okay friend. Back when we use to work together he would help me if I needed help with work, which he didn't have to do. Plus he's bought me drinks a few times before when we hung out with our friends. He ruined the arrangement that we had though and because of how he acted over our last incident I have a lot less respect for him. Even more so after Friday night. I think like you said this may be his pathetic attempt to reestablish the friends w/b relationship again... Which isn't happening.
NoMagicBullet Posted December 31, 2012 Posted December 31, 2012 I'm glad you know what you want... or in this case, don't want. A lot of people here on LS get very confused about what they want. In my experience with guys like this, it's like you said: "an okay friend." But the guy is usually nowhere to be found when life gets rough and even a little bit of moral support is something they won't give. If you get new, weird behaviour from him, feel free to update. I have to admit, I'm not sure why he ruined things, unless it was a way to put some distance between you. He may not have expected you to drop him. Hopefully he'll learn that actions have consequences!
Author Lolita_Sky Posted December 31, 2012 Author Posted December 31, 2012 I'm glad you know what you want... or in this case, don't want. A lot of people here on LS get very confused about what they want. In my experience with guys like this, it's like you said: "an okay friend." But the guy is usually nowhere to be found when life gets rough and even a little bit of moral support is something they won't give. If you get new, weird behaviour from him, feel free to update. I have to admit, I'm not sure why he ruined things, unless it was a way to put some distance between you. He may not have expected you to drop him. Hopefully he'll learn that actions have consequences! I definitely will! Thanks for responding!
redleader Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 Unfortunately ending a friends with benefits thing isn't much different than actually breaking up with someone. Once you have been intimate with someone, even casually, you are still involved on a deeper level than "just friends". Feelings can get crushed with the same weight. He sounds immature and acting out just to mess with you for refusing him. Though I have a situation where I have been there and back again a couple times with someone, and again recently, though our friendship has always endured somehow. There were a couple times no one was happy, or at least I wasnt, but we cared about each other enough to look past that. A rare situation though, which needs absolute maturity on both sides. Even then it can be and frequently is tough. Though if he was always a jerk, sounds like you are better of not having him around at all. The drinks and doing things for you were just ways to keep you around for his needs, not yours. Unfortunately for him you are stronger and more resolved than that, don't second guess it. 1
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