Nightsky Posted December 30, 2012 Posted December 30, 2012 The honey moon phase can be full of lots of sex.Than the after honey moon phase can be very sexless. I say date a girl who likes to please her man. That means having regular sex even if she isn't in the mood because she lives in the reality that it is one of her girlfriendly/wifely duties. That is all!
Balzac Posted December 30, 2012 Posted December 30, 2012 HaHa. I prefer a woman who wants to be sexually active with me. No or no libido is a deal breaker. 1
monicaelise Posted December 30, 2012 Posted December 30, 2012 Men! Hmmppph!!! You're all so demanding!!! JUST KIDDING!
ThaWholigan Posted December 30, 2012 Posted December 30, 2012 HaHa. I prefer a woman who wants to be sexually active with me. No or no libido is a deal breaker. This. I'd rather a woman with a high libido, or at the very least the potential for a high libido. 1
sweetkiwi Posted December 30, 2012 Posted December 30, 2012 I would prefer if i could find a man who would stay in bed all day playing, forgetting to eat food, and barely on this planet from all the sex we'd be having. Where can i find a dating pool of fellow perverts who aren't sluts? 7
soccerrprp Posted December 30, 2012 Posted December 30, 2012 Early on in the communication phase, even before actually meeting, I bring up the sex/physical question. I don't have time for games, dating rules...you're either mature enough to talk about intimacy or we're not going to work. I'm up front about being sexually active and my expectations. I have yet to be nixed for that.
Author Nightsky Posted December 30, 2012 Author Posted December 30, 2012 HaHa. I prefer a woman who wants to be sexually active with me. No or no libido is a deal breaker. This. I'd rather a woman with a high libido, or at the very least the potential for a high libido. What you chumps fail to realize is libido can be there one day and gone the next. You don't ant to start building a history only to have a year or two down the line "I'm not in the mood" be said all the time. High libido GREAT yes if she's not some kind of cheater, slut, or seems unhappy because she likes sex more than you... but high libido only goes so far. The goal should be to get a woman who see's sex as one of her girlfriendly/wifely duties. That saves you from the libido being the only reason she does it. I would prefer if i could find a man who would stay in bed all day playing, forgetting to eat food, and barely on this planet from all the sex we'd be having. Where can i find a dating pool of fellow perverts who aren't sluts? I've heard this song and dance before and it usually falls very short given a couple of months to a year. Not saying you couldn't pull it off for the long term just saying seeing is believing in my case.
sweetkiwi Posted December 30, 2012 Posted December 30, 2012 The first time it was 2+ years like this. Whenever and wherever we could. Second guy started to wean me off sex slowly then it got to once a month only If he was drunk. Third guy tried to end it because he was toooo Christian and felt bad about all the sex we were having. Fourth guy could keep up but was a two pump chump so it was all foreplay. Most recent weaned me off sex slowly. And only now treats me like the dirty slut i need to be. So i love a challenge. I would love to meet the man who could outfhuck me. Give me his number. 3
ThaWholigan Posted December 30, 2012 Posted December 30, 2012 What you chumps fail to realize is libido can be there one day and gone the next. You don't ant to start building a history only to have a year or two down the line "I'm not in the mood" be said all the time. This won't happen to me . I will disappear like Hiro Nakamura so fast..... High libido GREAT yes if she's not some kind of cheater, slut, or seems unhappy because she likes sex more than you... but high libido only goes so far. The goal should be to get a woman who see's sex as one of her girlfriendly/wifely duties. That saves you from the libido being the only reason she does it. Nah, that's sh*t. That means I'm sexing her and she ain't really feeling it, she's only doing it to appease me - this would only be acceptable to me if she enjoys pleasing me and gets pleasure from it, as I am that way. I'm not gonna date a woman who doesn't like sex or goes off it - even if she obliges just because I want to yet she doesn't. I can get with periods of abstinence within a relationship, and I can even forgive "not in the mood" and not get mad at all, but I would rather a woman enjoy sex as much as I do, otherwise it's no fun. 5
Author Nightsky Posted December 30, 2012 Author Posted December 30, 2012 This won't happen to me . I will disappear like Hiro Nakamura so fast..... I think should you find yourself in a situation as I describe you won't find it so easy. Well what I do know maybe you will find it easy. Maybe it's easy for you to just walk away from some one. Oh and even if the mental aspect is easy if she loses her libido during marriage might not be logistically easy. Nah' date=' that's sh*t. That means I'm sexing her and she ain't really feeling it, she's only doing it to appease me - this would only be acceptable to me if she enjoys pleasing me and gets pleasure from it, as I am that way. I'm not gonna date a woman who doesn't like sex or goes off it - even if she obliges just because I want to yet she doesn't.[/quote'] Some times women aren't in the mood to have sex until they are having it. Also what I am talking about is dating a woman who gets off on pleasing you not necesarily from a sexual stand point but yes including sex in the list of things she likes pleasing you with. I can get with periods of abstinence within a relationship' date=' and I can even forgive "not in the mood" and not get mad at all, but I would rather a woman enjoy sex as much as I do, otherwise it's no fun.[/quote'] I'm not talking about a period of abstinence I'm talking about the general trend of the relationship. You're very naive
Els Posted December 30, 2012 Posted December 30, 2012 Uh, if you're totally happy and content with the sort of sex that happens just because one person is doing his/her 'duties' and isn't into it at all... sure, I guess, go for it? 1
movingon12 Posted December 30, 2012 Posted December 30, 2012 The honey moon phase can be full of lots of sex.Than the after honey moon phase can be very sexless. I say date a girl who likes to please her man. That means having regular sex even if she isn't in the mood because she lives in the reality that it is one of her girlfriendly/wifely duties. That is all! There will always be men who are unable to keep his partner satisfied/interested after the initial few months. In these cases, like the OP is planning, he will have to rely on her sense of 'duty' - even though they both know she will get very little enjoyment out of it. How sad. Of course, there are other men who are actually very good in bed, so that - even after the initial mad passion fades - they will always be able to reignite it in their woman. 6
ThaWholigan Posted December 30, 2012 Posted December 30, 2012 I think should you find yourself in a situation as I describe you won't find it so easy. Well what I do know maybe you will find it easy. Maybe it's easy for you to just walk away from some one. Oh and even if the mental aspect is easy if she loses her libido during marriage might not be logistically easy. I will find it easy. As compassionate as I am, I won't hesitate to cut my losses. Some times women aren't in the mood to have sex until they are having it. Also what I am talking about is dating a woman who gets off on pleasing you not necesarily from a sexual stand point but yes including sex in the list of things she likes pleasing you with. Well duh. That's the point, she loves you, she likes pleasing you and she likes sexing you. Anything less is not worth it, not even for children - I would be very cautious about having children with a woman who will end up "turning off". I'm not talking about a period of abstinence I'm talking about the general trend of the relationship. You're very naive No, I know exactly what I want out of a relationship, especially regarding sex. If I get the hint of incompatibility, I will find out and cut my losses. I don't understand what we are disagreeing about, we are essentially saying the same thing - only difference is I want a woman who wants to have sex with me always, not one who just does it out of duty.
ThaWholigan Posted December 30, 2012 Posted December 30, 2012 There will always be men who are unable to keep his partner satisfied/interested after the initial few months. In these cases, like the OP is planning, he will have to rely on her sense of 'duty' - even though they both know she will get very little enjoyment out of it. How sad. Of course, there are other men who are actually very good in bed, so that - even after the initial mad passion fades - they will always be able to reignite it in their woman. Agreed. The plan is to be magnificent in bed . 1
sweetkiwi Posted December 30, 2012 Posted December 30, 2012 Its NOT easy to leave only because loss of sex or a severe decline. There are many other factors. If its before emotional bond then yeah sure. Shoot i stop seeing guys If the kissing is bad. But generally If Im allowing a man inside my vagina i like him. A lot. And walking away just because he cant keep up isn't realistic. Especially for me. Generally this problem is accompanied by other intimacy issues.
Els Posted December 30, 2012 Posted December 30, 2012 Agreed. The plan is to be magnificent in bed . Not just in bed, mind you. There are infinite ways in which a lover can invoke passion and romance outside of sex. The way he touches her, simple loving gestures, the look in his eyes, the words he speaks. All of that can totally get a woman going for her man even if she wasn't in the mood to begin with! The saddest thing about men like the OP is that they're making their own (empty) bed, literally. By treating sex as a 'duty that the woman should do for her man', they WILL effectively extinguish any hope of passion in any woman whom they are with. Such a catch-22. 2
sweetkiwi Posted December 30, 2012 Posted December 30, 2012 Wholigan i think for once i dont agree with you. You are new to the game and haven't been faced with these issues. Especially children. And you cant tell who is going to turn off. Or If you can let me know the secret so i dont go through it again.
ThaWholigan Posted December 30, 2012 Posted December 30, 2012 (edited) Wholigan i think for once i dont agree with you. You are new to the game and haven't been faced with these issues. Especially children. And you cant tell who is going to turn off. Or If you can let me know the secret so i dont go through it again. Quite possibly, it's true I haven't dealt with it. That doesn't mean I won't leave. I will. Even if it hurts. The sexual incompatibility at that point will impact on other areas in the relationship, I have seen it. I admit - I'm not really like others in certain respects. I will absolutely cut my losses if I feel it's not going to work, and I won't hesitate to do so. Edited December 30, 2012 by ThaWholigan
Els Posted December 30, 2012 Posted December 30, 2012 Wholigan i think for once i dont agree with you. You are new to the game and haven't been faced with these issues. Especially children. And you cant tell who is going to turn off. Or If you can let me know the secret so i dont go through it again. I agree that it may not always be easy to leave, and people can change, but that is an inherent risk in any LTR. After all, if someone's libido can change, their concept of duty and desire to please their partner can change, too. ANYthing can change. You can't ward against change by gnawing your foot off before you can possibly get shot in it. And that's what anyone with the OP's attitude is going to do. Exchanging genuine sex in which both partners love each other and enjoy each other sexually, for a lifeless, meaningless shadow of it, where neither is guaranteed to last forever. What worries me most is that some men, like the OP, can actually WANT sex in which their partner is not getting any pleasure or enjoying themselves. Someone with such an attitude should stick to prostitutes, IMO.
Author Nightsky Posted December 30, 2012 Author Posted December 30, 2012 I agree that it may not always be easy to leave, and people can change, but that is an inherent risk in any LTR. After all, if someone's libido can change, their concept of duty and desire to please their partner can change, too. ANYthing can change. You can't ward against change by gnawing your foot off before you can possibly get shot in it. And that's what anyone with the OP's attitude is going to do. Exchanging genuine sex in which both partners love each other and enjoy each other sexually, for a lifeless, meaningless shadow of it, where neither is guaranteed to last forever. You're reading insanity into the things I never said or wrote. I said find a girl who likes pleasing her man even if that means having sex when she isn't in the mood. Where did I write anything about no genuine sex and meaningless life? Libido is 100% likely to change, attitude and approach to life can have more stability. I believe regular sex as I define it is essential for a relationship with me. Obviously if the idea of regular sex is so upsetting than that is not some one I can go the long run with. It is some one I will get angry and frustrated with. Now in some crazy twilight zone universe where I'm rarely if ever in the mood for sex, I would understand that if I wanted to keep a wife/gf happy who needed sex say once a week I would have to perform. I'd also find a way to be happy about it if it meant protecting my relationship. What worries me most is that some men' date=' like the OP, can actually WANT sex in which their partner is not getting any pleasure or enjoying themselves. Someone with such an attitude should stick to prostitutes, IMO. [/quote'] You should stick to not commenting on my threads. You're very rude too, telling me to stick to prostitutes. I've never even been to a prostitute. What worries me about most about rude people like you is you believe the stupid insulting things you write. We're having two different conversations as you've taken every thing I've written out of context and added some strange pleasure from women who don't get pleasure spin. very odd
KungFuJoe Posted December 30, 2012 Posted December 30, 2012 The honey moon phase can be full of lots of sex.Than the after honey moon phase can be very sexless. I say date a girl who likes to please her man. That means having regular sex even if she isn't in the mood because she lives in the reality that it is one of her girlfriendly/wifely duties. That is all! LOL...not THIS again. If a woman has sex with me because she feels OBLIGATED to...forget it. Don't even BOTHER. 5
Author Nightsky Posted December 30, 2012 Author Posted December 30, 2012 LOL...not THIS again. If a woman has sex with me because she feels OBLIGATED to...forget it. Don't even BOTHER. OBLIGATED? Did I write obligated? I said date a woman who "LIKES" to please her man. Than I explained that means making sex a priority as opposed to and "I'm in the mood" thing. Where did I write she feels obligated. The word "likes" doesn't mean that. Look your command over the English language is obviously lacking and this is a conversation that seems to be going over your head. I thought it was helpful for those people with the mental capabilities to understand what I'm saying. You just go on doing what ever you do and not thinking about it with words.
KungFuJoe Posted December 30, 2012 Posted December 30, 2012 The honey moon phase can be full of lots of sex.Than the after honey moon phase can be very sexless. I say date a girl who likes to please her man. That means having regular sex even if she isn't in the mood because she lives in the reality that it is one of her girlfriendly/wifely duties. That is all! du·ty /ˈd(y)o͞otē/ Noun A moral or legal obligation; a responsibility: "it's my duty to uphold the law". (of a visit or other undertaking) Done from a sense of moral obligation rather than for pleasure: "a fifteen-minute duty visit". Not only is YOUR grasp of the english language alarmingly lacking...apparently you have short term memory as well. 3
Mme. Chaucer Posted December 30, 2012 Posted December 30, 2012 I would prefer if i could find a man who would stay in bed all day playing, forgetting to eat food, and barely on this planet from all the sex we'd be having. Where can i find a dating pool of fellow perverts who aren't sluts? Maybe from among the "incel" population that is very active on this board??
Mme. Chaucer Posted December 30, 2012 Posted December 30, 2012 I think that a person who is selecting for a partner based on the belief that they will keep on having sex because it's their "duty" to do it. In a really strong and healthy relationship, yes, both partners would feel like making each other happy even if they weren't in the mood. That is unselfish and giving. But the attitude of "it's a wifely duty" is probably not going to yield a very promising situation. Reminds me of the tales of the 1950's, with the horrified woman laying there on her back, eyes clenched tightly shut, hands in fists and just counting the moments until her "wifely duty" has been completed. Gross. For the record, my husband has some difficulty keeping up with my sexual nature, and we have a very good relationship on every level - but if he were to come at me with this "wifely duty" crap (which he never would, because he's too much of a man for that), I'm pretty sure my desire for him would start to nosedive into extinction. 2
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