middle7 Posted December 30, 2012 Posted December 30, 2012 My fiancé broke it off said she dosent know if she is doing the right thing but is moving out. (I think she may have commitment issues). My question is we live together and she basically packed up a bag for an extended weekend and left. And here entire life is pretty much in my house and she hasn't come back to get any of it since. I feel this is mixed messages. wouldn't some one who leaves everything come back (it's been about two weeks) or is this her way of taking a break and figures I will just take her back when she is ready.. I've given her space very little contact other than you need to come get your stuff and asked are you sure you want this. She said yes but emails me " why are you rushing me"..I do love this girl and would like to work out our problems. I realize this is very brief but would appreciate any input.
Balzac Posted December 30, 2012 Posted December 30, 2012 (edited) Welcome to LS. Lots of friendly, experienced and knowledgable folks here. I'm pretty much all about have her stuff packed up by you or a moving company. Pay for 30 days storage, give her written notice of this. Consider the relationship terminated. Move on with your life. She's not "The One". Edited December 30, 2012 by Balzac Life's too short for games.
Chi townD Posted December 30, 2012 Posted December 30, 2012 Why are you rushing her? Really?!?! She turned your world upside down and inside out and you're rushing her? If I were you, I would collect up all of her crap and put it in a storage locker. E-mail her and tell her where her crap is. Tell her the first month is paid up but it's her responsibility after that. That should be a wake up call for her. 1
iBerry Posted December 30, 2012 Posted December 30, 2012 (edited) Sounds like she wants to leave you, while using Your place as a storage facility for all her stuff. It's so much more convenient. I once was in a relationship that I didn't want to be in anymore but stayed because it was overwhelming to think that I had to pack up all my stuff and move out. Eventually I knew I had to leave despite the inconvenience so I packed everything and left. Your ex-fiancée is not quite as sensitive. Leaving you heartbroken and surrounded by all her things to remind you of her and then has the nerve to ask why you are rushing her out. If you love this woman and want any chance of winning her back, show her you are no pushover. People want what they can't have so if she feels like she can just return whenever she wants then she won't be in any hurry to do so. After all, you will patiently wait, right? WRONG! Tell her lovingly, I'm sorry but I am packing up your stuff as you have chosen to move on. My house is not your storage facility. Edited December 30, 2012 by iBerry 1
Author middle7 Posted December 30, 2012 Author Posted December 30, 2012 Her stuff is in my garage and has been since, she knows this. I told her she should come by and at least eyeball whats in there and take some stuff too (hasn't).. She claims to need to get paid before she can do this.
Balzac Posted December 30, 2012 Posted December 30, 2012 HaHa yeah. Grab ahold of your pride and deal with the "stuff". It's on her to bear the logical consequences of her decision. Storage unit, 30 days, up for auction.
Gottabestrong Posted December 30, 2012 Posted December 30, 2012 Sounds like she is using your house as a free storage place because she does not have anywhere else to put her things just now. Maybe she is just sleeping on a friend's or relative's couch right now. Not your problem though. Tell her to pick up her things by a certain date or you will put everything in storage and send her the bill.
ItxWillxGetxBetter Posted December 30, 2012 Posted December 30, 2012 Im sorry to hear about what you are going through. I honestly think its over and you should move on. I had a similar experience... sort of. My ex fiancee and I broke up about three months ago. We were living together at my place. When she broke up with me I decided to leave my own house because I had family nearby I could stay with and she had no place to stay. Long story short its been 3 months and shes still there (yeah...I know Im an idiot I hear it from my friends all the time). Ive told her that she needed to move out because I can not move on if shes still there and I need my place back. It took me almost two months to build up the courage to tell her that partly because I still care and party because i'm afraid to initiate contact (dont want my feelings to relapse). Point of the matter is that Ive come along way from where I was 3 months ago. I think I would have been further along if she had moved out. I think the sooner you get her stuff out the sooner you can move on with your life. I know there is a fine line from appearing to be a jerk (telling her to get crap out asap) and trying to protect yourself and move on. You just have to figure out that balance. If I had the opportunity to do it over again (now that I have a clear head) I would tell her she needs to move out ASAP instead of let in linger on this long. Again, i'm sorry you are going through this but trust me when I tell you it does get better.
TaraMaiden Posted December 30, 2012 Posted December 30, 2012 HaHa yeah. Grab ahold of your pride and deal with the "stuff". It's on her to bear the logical consequences of her decision. Storage unit, 30 days, up for auction. No - get a removal company to take it to her. Invoice to be paid by recipient, if possible. If not, pay up, and wave it all goodbye. It can't be more expensive than a storage unit for a month...
crashvector Posted December 30, 2012 Posted December 30, 2012 Im sorry she did this to you If I were you, I could not tolerate knowing her things were still there. Hell, as brokenhearted as I am aobut MY fiance leaving me....the very same say, I gathered up all her stuff and put it in the trunk of my car. Seeing her stuff will only hurt you more. Tell her she has 2 days to come get it, or you WILL be bringing it to her doorstep and leaving it there.
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