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Need some advi$e : Have you ever rejected someone that is now dating a friend?

Lobouspo

By Lobouspo
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Lobouspo Established Member

Lobouspo

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So over a year ago I went out on a date with this girl I met through a circle of common friends. I just wasn't feelin it, and after we went out I basically gave her the fadeout treatment by not responding to her texts. Mea Culpa, I know, but I am just not good at the whole "You seem like a nice person, but........" Anyway my good friend from college is now dating her (I confirmed it through his sister). Needless to say, she is not fond of me after getting the fadeout treatment. He is embarassed to come out about it, because myself and another mutual friend both rejected her. We also all used to kind of make fun of her behind her back.....Anyway its kind of an awkward situation, and I dont want it to get in the way of our friendship. How should I approach this whole thing?

todreaminblue Established Member

todreaminblue

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So over a year ago I went out on a date with this girl I met through a circle of common friends. I just wasn't feelin it, and after we went out I basically gave her the fadeout treatment by not responding to her texts. Mea Culpa, I know, but I am just not good at the whole "You seem like a nice person, but........" Anyway my good friend from college is now dating her (I confirmed it through his sister). Needless to say, she is not fond of me after getting the fadeout treatment. He is embarassed to come out about it, because myself and another mutual friend both rejected her. We also all used to kind of make fun of her behind her back.....Anyway its kind of an awkward situation, and I dont want it to get in the way of our friendship. How should I approach this whole thing?

 

I don't know what friendship you are referring too can you elaborate a little on the situation...... and what do you want to happen or expect to happen?....deb

KungFuJoe Established Member

KungFuJoe

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So over a year ago I went out on a date with this girl I met through a circle of common friends. I just wasn't feelin it, and after we went out I basically gave her the fadeout treatment by not responding to her texts. Mea Culpa, I know, but I am just not good at the whole "You seem like a nice person, but........" Anyway my good friend from college is now dating her (I confirmed it through his sister). Needless to say, she is not fond of me after getting the fadeout treatment. He is embarassed to come out about it, because myself and another mutual friend both rejected her. We also all used to kind of make fun of her behind her back.....Anyway its kind of an awkward situation, and I dont want it to get in the way of our friendship. How should I approach this whole thing?

 

How about next time you try not being an immature douche?

 

How's that for starters?

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Lobouspo Established Member

Lobouspo

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So I rejected this girl who is now dating my friend. Its just awkward because she doesnt like me and my friend is embarrassed about dating a girl two of his friends rejected. I mean eventually he would start bringing her around his friends right? I just dont want him to feel "torn" and I obviously dont want her to dislike me and get between my friend and I's friendship

CptSaveAho Established Member

CptSaveAho

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So over a year ago I went out on a date with this girl I met through a circle of common friends. I just wasn't feelin it, and after we went out I basically gave her the fadeout treatment by not responding to her texts. Mea Culpa, I know, but I am just not good at the whole "You seem like a nice person, but........" Anyway my good friend from college is now dating her (I confirmed it through his sister). Needless to say, she is not fond of me after getting the fadeout treatment. He is embarassed to come out about it, because myself and another mutual friend both rejected her. We also all used to kind of make fun of her behind her back.....Anyway its kind of an awkward situation, and I dont want it to get in the way of our friendship. How should I approach this whole thing?

 

Just be friends with your buddy... If you weren't interested in the girl, now shes with someone that is mutually interested as a couple...

 

I have 2 friends dating girls that I dated but wasn't interested in... we all joke about it and have fun (the guys of course)

 

It happens... There's nothing wrong with the fadeout treatment, its a polite way of showing not interested

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Lobouspo Established Member

Lobouspo

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How about next time you try not being an immature douche?

 

How's that for starters?

 

You are a 100% right...I am just not good at telling someone I am not interested. I have been on both sides BTW....and when a girl gives some lame a$$ excuse as to why she does not like me, it just seems so patronizing and phony.

CptSaveAho Established Member

CptSaveAho

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contrary to kungfujoes nice guy response, theres nothing wrong with how you handled the situation

 

You weren't an immature douche

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Lobouspo Established Member

Lobouspo

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contrary to kungfujoes nice guy response, theres nothing wrong with how you handled the situation

 

You weren't an immature douche

 

Yeah, I mean sometimes silence is golden. I guess I could have been honest and just told her "you are annoying and unattractive."

Radu Established Member

Radu

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So I rejected this girl who is now dating my friend. Its just awkward because she doesnt like me and my friend is embarrassed about dating a girl two of his friends rejected. I mean eventually he would start bringing her around his friends right? I just dont want him to feel "torn" and I obviously dont want her to dislike me and get between my friend and I's friendship

 

In this situation, i would ... GROW UP.

 

Seriously.

You should grow up and not do the fade.

Your friend should grow up [the one that rejected her] if he did the fade.

But most importantly, this girl's bf should grow up and stop being embarassed of being with her.

 

I'm gonna take a guess here, you guys are still in your early 20's ?

Carenth Established Member

Carenth

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The phrase "You reap what you sow" comes to mind. This is a learning opportunity for you.

 

Don't treat people like crap who you are dating, even if you are not interested "the fadeout" is some codeword for "I'm a spineless coward". It is not a polite way to tell someone you are not interested, that is hilarious :lmao:. If you aren't feeling it at least have the common decency to tell the other person. If for no other reason than to prevent situations like this.

 

If it becomes between you and your friend then it's no ones fault but your own. Karma is a bitch when it comes around to slap you in the face. I'm not surprised she is pissed at you after what you did.

 

Basic rule of life treat people the way you would like to be treated.

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Lobouspo Established Member

Lobouspo

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In this situation, i would ... GROW UP.

 

Seriously.

You should grow up and not do the fade.

Your friend should grow up [the one that rejected her] if he did the fade.

But most importantly, this girl's bf should grow up and stop being embarassed of being with her.

 

I'm gonna take a guess here, you guys are still in your early 20's ?

 

Haha....I wish!....we are all in our thirties!

Radu Established Member

Radu

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I asked that because generally early 20's guys and girls rely a lot on what friends think in making their decisions.

 

Quite frankly, what your friend is doing to her right now ... seems cruel; what you did ... well, i bet it happened to her before and she put you with everyone else who did this.

But this guy is involved with her in a more serious way.

KungFuJoe Established Member

KungFuJoe

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contrary to kungfujoes nice guy response, theres nothing wrong with how you handled the situation

 

You weren't an immature douche

 

I wasn't talking about the "fading out". I've done that myself.

 

I'm talking about the laughing about it making fun of the girl afterwards.

 

If you don't see the immaturity in that, well...then it just explains your own maturity level.

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