djones Posted August 16, 2004 Posted August 16, 2004 Hey Guys, I know some of you know my story "she is spreading her self too thin" I wanted to give you and update we have been e-mailing and coffee the odd time since our break up and things were like they were like we were back together and now she said she is going back to a guy that she dated before me...it did not get serious but the guy just lost his dad and now she says that they have some "connection" she and the guy chatted last night and decided to give them "us" a shot again...she tells me this over e-mail she now says that us will not work out b/c it was distance and me not having my life in order yet that we can not be together.....so thats that with her, she says I still care for you...lets remain freinds.....and that she is sorry for hurting me so much.....Guys I am in real bad shape over this, I feel sick, depressed, angry with myself....I dont know what to do....it hurts sometimes when i breathe....I thought she was the one..but I dont know what the "one" feels like any more....I thgouht what i was feeling for her was the right thing....the girls in my past I knew in the back of my mind they were not right for me, but this one i did not see it.....I feel like crap....I am 30 and I feel alone and just dont see a good thing happening to me any more......I dont know what to do, or think, it just feels like I am lost...i know i have to move on, it just hurts to know that she is moving on with someone and I am hurting and I thought she cared.................Can anyone help me I need some advice, comfort from you all....I dont know where to turn
moimeme Posted August 17, 2004 Posted August 17, 2004 You will feel awful, horrible, rotten, wretched, and miserable for the next while. Be good to yourself. Eat your favourite foods, be lazy, spend time with friends. Don't stay alone. Find a way to be busy. Time will dull the edges of the pain, and then it will file down all the other sharp bits. Eventually you will feel actually good again but it will be a while.
Author djones Posted August 17, 2004 Author Posted August 17, 2004 thanks, lastnight was rough I woke up like 3 times...It hard to eat still, I dont feel like eating.....I hope you are right about the time dulling the edges of my pain.....Its hard to believe it will get better now...but I have to believe in something will be better, or atleast thats what i am telling myself.....
moimeme Posted August 17, 2004 Posted August 17, 2004 Read through some LS breakup posts. It happens to everyone. Everyone feels horrible and like life has ended for a while. Then it starts to get better.
ntovrhm Posted August 17, 2004 Posted August 17, 2004 The bad days still occur, but are much fewer and far between. Hang in there, this won't kill you (although it may feel neverending). You will get to the point where you will enjoy things again without the ex factoring into it! Know that it will happen, and try to get through and keep busy until it does . . .
manofmystrey Posted August 17, 2004 Posted August 17, 2004 Dude always remember this to gian something great u have to be willing to give up something good. Your time will come, just be patient.
Author djones Posted August 17, 2004 Author Posted August 17, 2004 Thanks guys, I am having a real hard time with this and its nice to know there are "friends on the net" to help me....I know that have to be patient, my time will come...with string of problems I have in my life...ie career, job, love life, money....its just seems like I am getting nowhere fast....and i have not much luck going for me.....maybe it was a good thing that she dumped me.....how are you guys dealling with your own break ups? I want to know when you meet some one how do you know that this person is the "one" and that they will stick by you thick and thin....it just seems like thats just a fairy tail to me...maybe just i have not expericenced it, what i thought was love was not true or was it but just circumstances happen....I offen ask myself "why me?...what did I do wrong in my life to for this to happen?"....I am sure some of you guys say this as well...I was just wondering has anyone got an answer.....People say its a learning process, but why do you have to feel all this pain for what?....you hope that when you find the "one" that there in theroy should be no pain...right...if thats ture why all this hardship most of us are going through?....from this realtionship...i learned that i need to get my life in order before i meet someone else...but why could i not have done that with her....I was doing that at the time with her....but it was not enough i guess.....sorry for my long a@@ whining...i am just lost now...
manofmystrey Posted August 17, 2004 Posted August 17, 2004 yo drjones First off dude there are many out there that have it worse not that ur thing is not bad. Take me for example me and i my ex met when we were in kindergarden. We were together for 7 years and engaged for 2. I did everything for her from helping her all her bills when her dad was out of work for 2 years to dropping out of school and working two jobs to help pay for her school cause she wanted to go to school and i could not say no to her. There is much more that happened i cant get into it all but in the end she left me for another guy telling me that she blamed me for her borthers suicide and that i will make nothing of my life. Thats is all bs. If the girl truley loved u, u could be living in a cardboard box and she would not leave u. That is true love. Dont get me wrong make something of ur life cause that is important but if the woman loves u for what u do or where u live then she does not want the real u. It hard but time does heal the wounds and dont let someone like her be the end of u cause dude in the end u harm no one but u. Take this time to have fun and do all the things u want to that u never did. If that means school and career great but that does not mean u can fall in love. My advice forget her. its hard i understand but love is pain, pain is learning, learning is growing, growing is loving all over.
Bubbles Posted August 17, 2004 Posted August 17, 2004 A really good friend of mine said these words to me when things were really bad in my life. I had just broken up with my H and I couldn't find a job, I had to go on Welfare to feed my children and I was so lonely. I was very angry at my H for letting me down and I was so mad at my life. He said to me as he walked out the door......"you will never make anything of your life if I'm not around!" Know what my g/friend said to me? She said "the best Revenge? Is SUCCESS" Do your best to be the best, life will give back to you what you put into it..........I promise. I have wasted 17 years of my life on two men. I should have spent the time on myself instead. Only now am I learning that I really do matter! I really do have worth - and so do you! From reading your post I gather that you are trying to put your life together....continue on! Go head strong now! Don't let anything stop you......let your new ventures consume your thoughts. Bubbles
Author djones Posted August 17, 2004 Author Posted August 17, 2004 Guys Thanks so much for your replies it helps me so much....I Bubbles and manofmystery thanks for your words of encouragement...you are right if someone loves you they should stick by you, distance and jobs should not be the issue in a reltionship. I will try to get my life back and make something of my self, b/c thats all you have at the end of the day is your self!...I know I am going to be up and down for a while I am glad that I can get some advice from you all. I dont know if she dumped me b/c she wanted me to get on my feet or that she really did not want to stick it out with me....she said that she is going to give this guy she dated before me antoher shot...but not me...she said she felt a connection b/c of his recient fathers death...I dont know what to belive other than she dumped me and then told me that she is going to start dating this guy who lives closer to her (i live 30 min away) he have a similar job scheule as her so they meet more easier that we could....what ever that means...I guess I just have to get over her and try to get my life in order....thanks again guys,,, its just so hard now, but i am feeling like 2% better today
Recommended Posts