Just smile Posted December 30, 2012 Posted December 30, 2012 Leaving in same town of ex , do I avoid all places I think he will be ? I mean, how long does that go on for? My best friend lives a few houses from him, I USED to live across the street, thank god I moved! That was torturous .I'm just unsure how to act, where to go , where not to go, etc. Ugh
OJ loved Nicole Posted December 30, 2012 Posted December 30, 2012 do I avoid all places I think he will be ? I mean, how long does that go on for? Yes and until you're at the point where he doesn't come into your mind when considering going to these places. Trust me don't do it! You'll be miserable, you won't enjoy a second of it, you'll continually "think" you saw him, look over your shoulder, you'll be consumed with anxiety. Just thinking about it now prob gives you a bit if anxiety huh? I did it once, never again.
Pinky777 Posted December 30, 2012 Posted December 30, 2012 I'd try to avoid it for a while, at least to the places you know where they usually go. If you live in the same town you probably won't be able to avoid them forever, but avoid their usual hangouts for a bit, if it's going to be painful to run into them.
sweetkiwi Posted December 30, 2012 Posted December 30, 2012 Yeah after a breakup we divide the town. His territory. Her territory. It's always been unspoken for me.
Pinky777 Posted December 30, 2012 Posted December 30, 2012 Yes and until you're at the point where he doesn't come into your mind when considering going to these places. Trust me don't do it! You'll be miserable, you won't enjoy a second of it, you'll continually "think" you saw him, look over your shoulder, you'll be consumed with anxiety. Just thinking about it now prob gives you a bit if anxiety huh? I did it once, never again. So true. I tried going to one of the restaurants we always used to go, which I know he still goes once in a while. I was a paranoid mess and wound up leaving, horribly afraid I'd see him there and that he'd think I was trying to show up where he was on purpose. lol
NoMoreJerks Posted December 30, 2012 Posted December 30, 2012 (edited) He's not from my country and he's currently not around, so for me, visiting familiar places is really all about the memories and flashbacks.. which might be even worse.. The first time he broke up with me, I felt the urge to go to the places where we used to hang out. I did go to the place where we met, and 1 other place we used to hang out, but it was just depressing and awkward so I never went there again. One of those places (the place where I met him), is a place that I frequented a lot, so I couldn't stop going there, and after a while I stopped thinking about him every time I went there. This 2nd time that he broke up with me (looks like it's final), I didn't even try to go to those places. I am just too tired and emotionally drained and I can't do it anymore. I don't want to. It's too painful. Some of those places are supermarkets that I really liked/ usually shopped at, but I no longer go there anymore because of that -- we used to shop there together, grab food, go to his hotel room (residence inn) and he'd cook for me.. We also used to walk around town (in the summer), and sometimes , even walking around is difficult for me, because it reminds me of the times we used to hold hands and walk around. I can imagine I wouldn't feel so bad if he were around, unless I were to see him with some other girl. The possibility of seeing him with some other girl would kill me. I'd have a heart-attack . I can't cope with that. Even the thought that he might be with someone right now, or in the future, kills me. Let alone seeing him with someone else. No way. Edited December 30, 2012 by NoMoreJerks
crashvector Posted December 30, 2012 Posted December 30, 2012 Leaving in same town of ex , do I avoid all places I think he will be ? I mean, how long does that go on for? My best friend lives a few houses from him, I USED to live across the street, thank god I moved! That was torturous .I'm just unsure how to act, where to go , where not to go, etc. Ugh I tried to go shopping today just to get out of the house. I went to my favorite grocery store out of habit...as soon as I walked in, all the memories of us walking around the store holding hands came RUSHING back. I had to literally RUN out of the store because I couldn't stop the tears from flowing. God I loved her SO much....
LostOne1 Posted December 30, 2012 Posted December 30, 2012 I tried to go shopping today just to get out of the house. I went to my favorite grocery store out of habit...as soon as I walked in, all the memories of us walking around the store holding hands came RUSHING back. I had to literally RUN out of the store because I couldn't stop the tears from flowing. God I loved her SO much.... yeah me and her went to our movie theatre always and had dinner next door to the movie theatre. When she BU with me about 2 weeks later the theatre we went to closed down. But there are stores around there I visit sometimes. And well memories do pop up and I enjoy the moments of the memories and then take a deep breathe and tell myself those were good times, but they are in the past. That those moments won't be here right now at this point in time. And I just try to smile and thank god for at least keeping me alive and letting me move on with life to hopefully a better place in the future. I guess what keeps me going is the future and knowing that or at least hoping that something better awaits. And I don't just mean a relationship, but in general everything else career, life, money friends etc...
crashvector Posted December 30, 2012 Posted December 30, 2012 yeah me and her went to our movie theatre always and had dinner next door to the movie theatre. When she BU with me about 2 weeks later the theatre we went to closed down. But there are stores around there I visit sometimes. And well memories do pop up and I enjoy the moments of the memories and then take a deep breathe and tell myself those were good times, but they are in the past. That those moments won't be here right now at this point in time. And I just try to smile and thank god for at least keeping me alive and letting me move on with life to hopefully a better place in the future. I guess what keeps me going is the future and knowing that or at least hoping that something better awaits. And I don't just mean a relationship, but in general everything else career, life, money friends etc... My career will improve, my financial status will improve. I know i was married before, but im TELLING you..this woman was the love of my life...she literally saved my life...and i saved hers. I dont think I'll ever be able to stay in this town.... Once things calm down a bit, I will make a final decision, but I just can't see staying here when there is nothing for me here anymore. she just bought a house across town, and moved up to a city about 15 miles away. Without her, I have no reason to stay.
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